Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Boo The Weasel (Tkachuk)

 I can't believe this even needs to be said, but people should be booing the shit out of Tkachuk when he returns here.

We drafted and developed this guy, offer him a long term expensive contract, and he tells us to fuck off...and people want to cheer him?

Hey Francis...I get you must be getting paid to be this guys PR guy...because if you are doing it for free then that's just so jock sniffing-ly embarrassing...but the rest of us are not, so fuck off with your fluffery. 

This guy literally went with "I wanted a chance to win" to explain why he was ejecting himself from the team. When the team had just put up it's best regular season year ever. This guy is a punk. 

In short, Fuck Mathew Tkachuk. 

Boo the weasel. 

I hope someone flips a puck at him. Rasmus...do it. 

Tuesday, October 25, 2022

Jonathan Huberdeau Bought A Suite For The Season So Disadvantaged Kids Can See Flames Games; John Rat Boy Is Still A Rat (Also Undersized)

 I've been a Flames season ticket holder coming up to a decade now and I don't remember John Rat Boy doing anything like this. I remember when he said he was going to do something nice for the city of Calgary and it turned out to be a ghost written article in the Players Tribune. But buying a whole suite for the year to give away the tickets to hard up kids? No, don't recall. 

Our Jonathan Hockey, however, did so. Because he is a swell guy. 

Remember when Turek (RTPIC RIP) bought a bunch of handicapped kids tickets at the 'dome before giving back a bunch of his salary and retiring? Reminds me of that. Jonathan is mensch. The French one. Not the jersey trash rat boy. 

Friday, October 21, 2022

The Greatest Review Of All Time?

Here is the product: 

And here is the review:

Wonder what Jess S from Ontario thought she was ordering...

Wednesday, September 7, 2022

Thursday, August 25, 2022

Pop Quiz Hot Shot: Who Should Be The Flames Captain?

Does anybody get the Speed reference? Man I'm old, as my smoking hot African GF reminds me every day. 

The question about who should be the Flames captain does have an objectively true answer though. And if you get it wrong, well I'm not saying you should have your Flame fandom revoked, but I certainly wouldn't oppose letting Torquemada ask you a few pointed questions. 

I feel a flow chart would be useful here.

                                                Should the Flames name a captain? 


                                                           Yes                                    No

                                                             |                                        |

                                              Should it be Backlund?               Wrong                                        


                                        Yes                                    No

                                          |                                         |

                    Correct answer, Flames fan               To the Rack with you


It's really not that complicated. 

Thursday, July 28, 2022

McDavid > John Rat Boy

I mean, it was pretty obvious during the playoffs that Edmonton's stars were a lot better than Calgary's stars, but this is just more proof:

The lines are added for the guys who don't fuck who seem to be thinking this picture reflects poorly on Connor. 

Don't lean in. Don't smile. Check and check. Connor is big pimpin' here. 

Lets compare him to Rat Boy:

What a dork. No wonder he left. He leans in. 

Somewhat related: Bread Boy may be a bit of a pimp himself:

Local Rumour: Mangiapane Unhappy? Wants Out?

I don't know how much credence to give this one but due to the nature of the business I am in I occasionally hear a thing or two from some of the clients. One of the fancier clients was in today and had a few things to say about the Flames. Not sure how much of it was real or fantasy.

The most interesting thing that was shared is that the when the players have their home address get leaked they end up with crazies in their backyards wanting to take pictures. Like...what the hell is wrong with some of you people?

Besides that, the word is that Mangiapane is unhappy and could be looking to head to the exits ala Rat Boy 1 and Rat Boy 2. No reasons was given as to why he is so unhappy. Speculation over the previous contract negotiation, the current coach, etc, was had, but the source didn't really know. 

Anyway, potentially something to watch. 

Tuesday, July 26, 2022

Meredith Gaudreau Is Mid

Tarnishing your legacy and ruining any chance you had at a Stanley Cup for a 6. 

John Rat Boy, everybody!  

Monday, July 25, 2022

Memo: If You Are Saying "At Least Tkachuk Handled It The Right Way" You Need To Go Cheer For Another Team

 Like, I hate to throw around my weight as the absolute Pope of Flames Fandom, I try to use my power sparingly, it's an awesome power so it should be wielded only when absolutely necessary to maintain it's grandeur and majesty, this everyone understands. But holy fuck some of you clowns out there need to give your heads a shake. Praising Tkachuk? For forcing his way out? 

He's not going to sleep with you, guys. Stop simping. 

There is pretty good comment on CP: 

"Might as well throw Adam Fox in the conversation too. Scouts knew he was unlikely to play for a small market and was looking to play in NY. What a respectful guy, letting the organization know his intentions from the beginning. Very respectful, giving the Flames so much notice. Apparently around here, giving ample notice is the ultimate sign of respect and honor and dignity and legacy and reputation and blah blah blah."

Which I agree with. This guy has been signaling his intention to bolt since we drafted him. It's nice that he didn't play the most absolute form of hardball he could have played, I guess. But still...fuck this guy. 

Also, I like how John Rat Boy was made fun of over not being a winning player or not caring about winning because he signed with Columbus but Tkachuk fleeing to anonymity in Florida is about wanting to win. Like...I bet the Panthers have more fans in Canada than they do in Florida. He was fleeing the spotlight. If it was about wanting to win, well, he just left a team that had a pretty good season. 

Guy is a total fraud. Good riddance. Take a hike, eh.

As for the return...I'm less than thrilled. I see people praising Treliving for trading a RFA for two UFA's and I kinda scratch my head. All this guy did was trade a guy who because of contract minutia would have been difficult to trade at the deadline for a couple of guys he could trade at the deadline. Big whoop. You deferred the problem, but the problem is still there. 

Apparently the french winger we traded for was having a difficult negotiation with Florida. Gee golly Brad is such wizard for being able to get that guy! I would bet the story with the defenceman is the same, he was asking for more money than Florida was going to give him. I guess it's ok for short term, like, really short term. Still, you would have liked to fleece a team and get back someone under contract for a few seasons. 

Does anybody think this team has the guts to trade these guys if we are in a playoff position but they aren't signed? So we traded one year of Tkachuk for one year of a LW and a D...if your big concern was "how can we let these guys walk for nothing????" I'm not sure this trade really alleviates that worry.

But we shall see, I guess. Maybe Brad gets them signed. 

Would still like to see this team sign Kadri. Capfriendly has us with about 9 million in cap space left, so not sure that is actually doable anymore, with the team needing to sign Mangiapane and Kylington. 

You know what would make me think Brad is a wizard? If he could make Monahan and Lucic's contracts disappear. Not holding my breath on that one.

Thursday, July 21, 2022

Is This Just A Bluff?

 I know a lot of people were like 'You put a deadline day down and if they don't negotiate by the deadline then you trade him" after the Rat Boy debacle. I wonder if that's just what happened here. Treliving put a deadline on Tkachuk that wasn't a real deadline, and Tkachuk called his bluff. 

The real deadline is that arbitration date, which I guess is anywhere from next week until mid august. Not sure when the teams themselves find out when their go date is. I would assume someone from the league would let the actual teams know before they let the public know, but who knows, you know. 


Despite the pining for the rebuild, I don't think it is happening, realistically. The team has too much infrastructure to just blow it all up in a cap world. The team will continue to try to win, is what I assume will happen. 

Whether Tkachuk's trade list is accurate or not, there are only so many teams with cap space as of todays date. I think the Flames trade targets are going to be picks, prospects (ie players under team salary control), or perhaps some star for star swap. If the team goes for picks and prospects, that limits who they can trade the guy to. If they do a star for star swap, that opens it up, by why would a team swap a star for a star? Teams would want to add Tkachuk to their star, not do a swap. Unless of course their star wants out as well. 

I just don't see it. I don't follow the league enough to know every star everywhere. Maybe there is drama going down in other markets. No idea. 

But if the number for Tkachuk starts with a 9 at the minimum, or somewhere around there, that eliminates a lot of teams. There are 12 teams as of today who have at least 9 million in cap space. Only five of those 12 are in the Eastern conference. New Jersey, Detroit, the Islanders, Ottawa, and Buffalo. 

The reason Tkachuk wants out has not been stated. I would assume it is the border issue, but who knows. It is probably that or money. If it's the border, then Ottawa is out. Of those teams remaining, none of them were very close to making the playoffs. Like, 20 points out and shit. The closest of those would be the Islanders. 

Not sure what the Islanders have, but they could absorb the cap hit and we wouldn't have to take back any cap. They have all their picks in the upcoming drafts. Trading good players for lottery tickets isn't the smartest thing in the world, but Kadri is still available. I know he said he wanted to go to a contender but same situation, no contenders have cap space besides the Flames. 

I wonder if the play here is to trade Tkachuk to the Islanders for draft capital, use cap space to sign Kadri and another winger, and keep trying to stay in the mix. With Monahan and Lucic coming off the books after this season anyway, I don't think that cripples you going forward. 

As of today they Flames have about 18 million in cap. I guess the Mangiapane and Kylington RFA contract stuff muddies the waters a bit, if you can keep those two to under 10 million in cap you might have enough room to sign Kadri. Who knows. 

That team wouldn't be so terrible. You'd have centre depth. I actually wouldn't mind it at all. 

Lindholm, Kadri, Backlund down the middle is pretty good. You got enough wingers to survive. The backend is decent, and Markstrom is respectable on paper. Not the worst Flames team every assembled. 

Even if Tkachuk is bluffing, I think I would rather that team (ie: with Kadri). 

Wednesday, July 20, 2022

Fuck Tkachuk

 These fucking yankee weasels

Hopefully the Flames use some of that 20 million a year they saved to put bounties on the heads of Mathew and John. 

Johnny Rotten

Look at what Rat Bot paid someone to write on his behalf: This shlock.

Fuck this twat. Can you believe this? Like, fuck off Rat Boy. Tell Yoko to suck a dick, too. 

This guy knew he wasn't going to sign an extension in Calgary since at least 2018. This bullshit about "I wanted to sign an extension last summer..." Ok Rat Boy, why didn't you then? The Flames offered one. Why didn't you sign it if you wanted to? Fuck you and your Jersey washed out stripper trash looking mother. 

And what is even sadder than Rat Boy getting his PR guy to write this pernicious pablum is that some idiots in this city are buying it. Go look at the calgarypuck forum. "Oh Johnny said he liked us so all is forgiven". Like, what the fuck? Why is our fanbase infested with these vermin. 

Idiots, let me spell this out for you: John Rat Boy knew he wasn't going to sign long term. He then gave interviews where he said he was very open to signing long term. That makes him Rat Boy. Rat Boy then had his agent go back and forth with the Flames negotiating a contract he knew he would never sign. That makes him Rat Boy. The Flames, being negotiated with, assumed there was a chance he would re-sign with them. He led them on. Like a Rat Boy. Then, the scuttlebutt goes, he gave the Flames a ultimatum during negotations, he said to them "Here is the final offer, take it or leave it" and the Flames said "Ok we surrender we agree to all your terms" and then he said "Lol naw", which, say it with me, is what makes Rat Boy, Rat Boy. 

What is hard about this to understand? Rat Boy led the Flames on knowing full well he was NEVER going to re-sign here. He knew this back to at least 2018 when his dad had a heart attack. 

Fuck Rat Boy. Fuck his wife. Fuck his mother. Fuck Guy. Fuck the entire family. Why people are going "Gee willy I guess he didn't fuck the franchise because he paid some fucktard to write a players tribune article saying he wants to visit one day in the future all is forgiven gee golly"? 

Can't wait to boo the shit out of this little turd when he comes back. Hopefully he cries. AND FOR FUCK SAKES DON'T SELL HIM ANY MORE COCAINE WHEN HE COMES BACK TO CALGARY. He's revoked. 

Tuesday, July 19, 2022


 News out today that Tkachuk is going to arbitration and how that impacts the Flames and the contract decision and blah blah blah. It appears that Tkachuk has signaled he is not signing long term. Things can change, but that is the consensus opinion currently. 

If Tkachuk goes, notwithstanding the return, the team will have lost 2/3rds of it's first line. The team couldn't get out of the second round with the two 100 point guys it's about to lose. What are the chances of winning a Cup when those guys are replaced by Mangiapane and Toffoli? Who in turn are replaced on their line by Dube and Coleman? Who are in turn replaced on the third line with who the fuck knows? 

In short, what would be the point? And that's the point, not that it isn't obvious. It's time for a complete rebuild. 

There is no point in having a Lindholm anymore. There is no point in having a Backlund anymore. There is no point in having a Toffoli or a Coleman or a Hannafin anymore. I'm not even sure they need a Kylington. 

Everybody on the roster 25 and older should be traded, if possible. 

If the goal is to win a Cup, which I am not even sure is the goal, then there is no path forward with this current group. So why keep it around?

Because the goal might just be to get to the playoffs and cash in on a few home gates. But that's not an answer I want to hear as a fan. 

Do you want Treliving handling the rebuild? I don't. It's pretty late to get someone else in here, but they should. The guy has almost 10 years and a couple of first round wins to show for it. He had his shot. This last season was his shot. He gambled, it didn't work out. That happens. I don't see why he should keep his job, though. Is there a 32 year old free agent he has to outbid everyone on or something? And why couldn't Conroy give out those stupid contracts?

To me, the goal should be to be as bad as possible next year and to take a shot at getting a high draft pick. To do this they should, again, trade off anybody over the age of 25 they can. They should be aiming to get draft picks, not players. They can take players back on bad contracts signed to term and draft picks. The goal should be to be as terrible as they can for the next three years, so they can build a band of players that mature at the same time, allowing them to take a couple of cracks at the Cup before they have to sell those guys off. 

Is there another path? Maybe. It would depend on cap space, but signing a couple of the currently available free agent wingers and the big name centre would have to be it. Not sure I see the Flames being able to pull that off. But if you lose Tkachuk and Ratboy and replace them with Kadri, Niederreiter, and Kessel or something, that might keep the Flames competitive enough. 

I guess we have another month of this "will he or won't he" drama to sit through until we find out.  

Monday, July 18, 2022

Johnny Hockey Left Because Of Trudeau's Covid Policy, Duh.

 It has been a few days since John RATBOY Gaudreau (or however it's spelled) chose to leave the Flames and sign with an american team, and people seem to still be trying to figure out why. 

Really? It's not that hard to figure out. John is married to a yankee, will have a yankee baby, and wants to raise the baby as a yankee. That's hard enough to do if he is living in the land of the Loyalists, and it's especially hard to do if (when) the Tyrant re-imposes useless lockdowns and travel restrictions. 

So his choice was re-sign in Calgary and be apart from his family for the majority of the year after the lockdowns get re-imposed (which...listen, in year 3 of the marriage he may be wishing he took that deal) or sign somewhere in the USA and just eliminate that complication completely. 

Now he is a rat because he must have known he wasn't coming back to Canada at some point before the last hour of free agency and declined to share that with the team. And if the rumours are true that he actually was negotiating with the Flames and then the Flames met all his asks and he still said no, that makes him like a super king rat. I'll be booing him when he plays here. 

But the reason he left is quite simple. He couldn't trust that Canada wouldn't go crazy again over the flu. I can't blame him for thinking that way. 

I can blame him for not being explicit to the team. It's also the teams fault for not being able to smell a rat (so to speak) and letting him get to free agency. But as to why he left? Let's not be na├»ve. It was the threat of border closures and travel restrictions due to hysteria over wu flu. Why people have to pretend otherwise is beyond me.