Weird Email From Flames: Special Announcement Regarding March 2 Game

Got a cryptic email from the Flames today. All season ticket holders did. I just wrote that to gloat about being a season ticket holder. In the two hundreds. Pretty sweet. Gonna get to watch the team win the Cup live, and not have to do it in the wasteland that is the 300 section either.

Anyway...Special announcement on the game March 2. They are going to tell us all what it is about tomorrow, per the email.

I looked at the shitty Flames blogs and didn't see this mentioned. Then I went to Calgary Puck and they have a speculation thread. The speculation seems to be that Iginla will have his jersey retired. The theory I liked was that it was a tough game to move tickets for, so that's why they are choosing this game.

Ehh...I don't know. When I saw the email my immediate thought was also a jersey retirement, either Iggie's or Kipper's. Minnesota though...

Could it be anything else? I haven't slept all week, I can't really think of  it being anything else (in this state). Wait...they could retire #14.

They should Forever A Flame Ferland when we play Carolina.

Experts

The thing about the lowest of the low, journalists and reporters, trying to make themselves a professional guild, always strikes me as funny. Because these people are the most vapid people you will ever meet. I've dated some. They don't know how to tie their shoes.

So it's an idea that should be pushed back on. The great thing about this new social media age is that you can see how unqualified most of these people are in real time.

I wouldn't hire these people to walk my dog without five character references.

Anyway...the experts, doing expert things. Wonders never cease.

LOL

The Carolina Hurricanes are going to trade Playoff Hero Ferland and Douglas 'The Pussy' Hamilton.

This is very funny to me because, as you may remember, the Flames were panned for 'trading the best player' in the trade.

There are more things in Heaven and Earth and the Hockey Rink than are dreamt of in your spreadsheets.

Wasn't There A Story On Sportsnet The Other Day About The Flames Trading Brodie Or Hamonic?

Wasn't there a story on sportsnet the other day about the Flames trading Brodie or Hamonic? Like, it was there yesterday, I'm pretty sure. But I went today and I can't find it. My google skills aren't what they used to be, as I wasn't able to find it there, either.

I swear it was there, though. You gotta believe me. Someone else saw it, right?

Assuming I'm not crazy...why would they post it and then disappear it? Did they get push back from the team?

The story was "Flames have a lot of defencemen, and Brodie and Hamonic's contracts are up in a year or two, so they should trade them for a forward now."

Which, if you play video game hockey makes sense. Here in the real world, you might want to keep your blue line strong if you plan on going on a deep run in the playoffs. Might want to avoid icing three rookies if you plan on going deep in the playoffs. But, again, in video game hockey world, where there are no injuries and the silicons don't feel pressure, sure, it makes sense.

Anyway, just thought it was weird I couldn't find the story anymore.

I would like the team to 'add' though. Sportsnet has this cool thing where if you look up your team it shows how much cap space they have. The Flames have none, so it's gonna be tough to add without taking something off the roster. The obvious candidate would be Stone, but good luck with that.

So probably won't be able to add, which is a shame. Hopefully Neal wakes up.

Furthermore, I think Derek Wills should be fired.

Smorgasbord

It begins.

Or not.

When the robot uprising does begin, I'm going to sell humanity out and become a cyborg. With a ray gun. Pretty neat.

Only send your parents to a home if you hate them.

So warn them to be nice to you, otherwise you'll see to it that their genitals rot off.

Was it coming from San Francisco?

And now to be serious for a moment:

There's a story about dating apps promoting hedonism. Meh. Women being free from shame for sleeping around and being unmarried at 30 promotes hedonism (sorry not sorry). But as a guy who has profited because of this, please take what I am telling you to heart. While it is fun to be post 30 and smashing teenagers, it is very empty.

I have some married friends, and sometimes they tell me, man I envy you, can still go out, play the field, and I'm like, dude, no no no, being married with kids is much better than what I'm doing. And it is.

Like, the dating app lifestyle is corrosive to your soul. I slapped the shit out of a woman recently while she was giving me a blowjob because I didn't feel she was doing it good enough. She loved it. She loved getting 'beat up' while sucking my cock. That's fucked up man. And that's what you meet out there.

And because you need to be a certain way with girls to be successful, it ruins the romanticism about girls. When you go down the game lifestyle and see certain techniques produce certain results, you kinda don't even view them as human beings anymore. I doubt I'll ever be able to fall in love again.

What I'm saying is that you should find someone and get married when you are young. Don't listen to the bullshit about staying single till your over 30. For men, yeah they can get away with it, but it's gonna impact you. For woman...do not be single at 30. Do not. Do you know how I treat women who are older than 30? And they have to let you, because they are over 30. You don't want that.

***

Flames first place! I told you they were Cup bound. 

Deus Vult

Despicable.

Europe is lost. This guy was born there.

I know, they should respond with more atheism and materialism. That'll fix it.

Dilemmas

I got a girl who can fuck but I can't stand otherwise, and a girl I don't mind hanging out with but can't fuck for shit.

Solution is, of course, to find more women.