Tuesday, August 3, 2021

Are There Any Good Calgary Flames Web Sites?

Don't make me fucking come back to start blogging on this website. I don't want to help the 'sphere. I don't want too! Please! But I need some content. CONTENT DAMMIT! The takes, the takes...they suck.

I'm being honest. I don't want to say they suck because it will be like "Why is this guy making fun of our websites he must be green with envy and dripping with jealousy" but I have to say it. Calgarypuck.com...go take a look at what is passing for takes on there. I'm a little embarrassed to share a fanbase with such little, myopic, pedantic 'people'. It's like...I don't get it. The site supposedly has lots of members but it's the same 5 idiots fighting with each other on all the posts. And the fights aren't even good, because the site is full of pussies. Someone call Monahan a faggot or something, christ!

Flamesnation.ca is pretty awful, I almost don't want to comment on it. It looks slick but if I go right now the top story is an afternoon radio host playing fantasy line making. And not the good line making, like a bookie. No, he's like "Our first line should be..." I want to fucking drill my brain out, it's so formulaic and boring. And have you seen the comments? The commentators, have you read them? Their...thoughts? It's a nightmare. It's like what a skinny 16 year old male walking into hollywood for a casting call must feel like. The dread, the horror. 

I don't mean to make too much of it on this dead defunct no good shit stain of a blog platform. But guys...it really does suck. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE ENTERTAINED IF EVERYONE IS SO BLAH, VANILLA, GREY? The last Flames season was a disaster because the Flames sold us on having a good team and it turned out the team was no good. Usually people get fired for that. Did any of the marketing department salesmen who masquerade as 'reporters' or 'journalists' or whatever thought to call Mr. Edwards and ask him "How much rope are you giving to Treliving?", you know what I mean? Why is nobody disturbing shit? Rock the boat a little. Example: "Hey Brad, every free agent winger you've brought in here for the purpose of adding a little grit and muscle to the lineup...they seem to not work out. Why do you think the Coleman contract is going to be different?" I don't even know if he had a press conference to announce the signing, I just know that nobody in the Calgary media asked him anything close to the above question. I don't even need to google it, I just know! 

What actually has my panties twisted is the people on CalgaryPuck going "YOU CAN'T JUST TRADE EVERYONE ON THE ROSTER AND ALL THE DRAFT PICKS TO GET THE WHINER OUT OF BUFFALO NOOOO!" and I'm just angry I have to share a fan base with these things. If we trade all the draft picks for Eichel, how will we ever be able to draft studs like 5'2 93 pound Matthew Phillips again? (AND WHY DOES SPELLCHECK NOT WORK FUCK YOU GOOGLE - EDIT I FIXED IT!). Like, I'm sick of everyone in this market being so small. Take a swing. If we don't win the Cup, oh well. 

Do you even like anyone on the team? I don't like Tkachuk (fuck you I'm not googling how to spell it). He's a crybaby who quit on the team for like 2/3rds of the season last year, and then cried about Sutter at his season ending presser. Fuck that shit. And do you think Brad has the stones to move him? I fucking don't. Very worrisome.

I want them to trade all the draft picks for players, or I want them to trade all the players for draft picks. I don't care which, but choose a fucking direction and go with it. "I'M GOING TO GIVE A 30 YEAR OLD A 6 YEAR CONTRACT BUT I NEED TO BE PRUDENT (WHAT THE FUCK!!!) AND KEEP THE DRAFT PICKS" is just so...Calgary Flames. If Sutter wasn't the coach I'd be pretty upset.

Anyway, does anyone know any good sites for Flames news, rumors, anything? I need someone who has fire in their blood. Holy fucking shit, I just saw someone cry about 'depleting the prospect pool'. I might go shoot Drano. 

Furthermore... (for the OG's)