Friday, February 22, 2019

I Picked Up A 21 Year Old Hottie At The Snoop Dogg Concert Last Night

Settle in children and let me begin to regale you with a tale that will give you a grin...

So I'm at the Snoop Dogg concert yesterday. I have been busy all week so I was feeling tired, worn out, just gray. But I had never seen the D O Double G in concert and I'm of that age so I forced myself to go. I just went with my brother.

The concert was at the Dome. There were four acts, Korrupt, Warren G, Bone Thugs, and Snoop. Between the acts, there would be 10 - 15 minutes of 'intermission'. My seats were in 218, and I was sitting in row 12, which is mid row. That's the scene.

Sitting in the front row of section 218 are two very hot chicks. At least 8's, maybe higher depending on your scale. They are dancing with each other and having a good time, and are dressed like they want attention. And they are getting it; as I looked around the section I noticed most of the men were looking at these two girls. However, nobody was approaching them.

The first act ended and intermission starts. I sit in my spot and watch these girls, and I watch these guys watching these girls. What I was looking for is, basically, if these chicks were with boyfriends or dates. So I'm watching, and like I said above, no guy approaches them. I make the mental note, intermission ends and I watch the next act, Warren G I think.

Warren G ends and the next intermission starts. Warren G bored me out of my skull, so I need to do something, you know? I look at my brother and I bet him I can go get the number of at least one of the two hot chicks. He laughs. It's on. And I'll be real, as much as I like pussy and hot chicks, the main emphasis for me to take a shot at these girls was to a) show my brother I could and b) to do it in front of the whole section, so all the guys who were looking at them but not approaching would see it. Don't judge me, but that's the truth. Total ego play.

Before I go my brother suggests I use "what's your favourite snoop song" as an opener, which would have been terrible. I have no idea how he gets any girls using lines like that. Never use shit like that. 100 people before you have. Don't be boring.

So like I said, it's intermission, and I go from my spot and walk up to the hotties. As I walk up I can feel the eyes of the crowd on me. Showtime. And you know what, when I was walking up to them I was thinking about what I should say, and when I got there I just dropped it and went full improv. But I think I discovered a great opener and routine to do, which I want to share with you guys, because I think we should share what works.

The opener I used was, and I'm quite proud of this one, "Hey girls, do you want to hear my best opener?"

Now, an opener is only as good as the bantz behind it, and I can bantz. After they of course said they wanted to hear my best opener, I walked them through a routine I would do to them "if I was attracted to one of you" (another killer line if I do say so myself). I actually used the 'Best Friend' game routine, which has to be 15 years old now. But these chicks hadn't heard it (another reason to hit on young chicks, your old material is new to them).

My game was tight, and I'm joking with these girls when the next act started. Some of you would have tried to spend the concert with these girls, but I'm not a rookie. I used the starting of the act to do a take away. I told the girls I had to get back to my seat, and they actually said 'don't leave' which was nice, and then they said 'please come back later', which was also very nice. But I said I don't know how late I'd be staying, and was there a way we could continue this conversation later? The girls laughed and said 'come back and maybe you can get our numbers'. I said maybe, and I went to leave, but I saw that people were looking at me, so I said to the girls 'before I go, give me a kiss' and they actually did, they both kissed my cheeks at the same time kinda thing.

I was very pleased with myself. As I walked back up to my seats I saw guys looking at me. The double kiss had been for the benefit of the viewing crowd. But kisses on the cheeks are not numbers. How do I get these chicks numbers without looking like a stalker now?

I sat and watched the rest of the concert with my brother, while keeping an eye on the girls. Sometimes they would look up and give me the 'come here' finger gesture, but I didn't bite. I pretended I didn't notice them, I was having a good time without them. Obviously I'm spending the whole time thinking about how to smoothly re-engage to get the numbers.

I don't think what I did was brilliant or anything, but simple is good sometimes. All I did was wait for them to leave after the concert was done, and then I timed my exit so that I would walk by them 'naturally' as they were leaving their seats. So as people are leaving their seat section and spilling into the concourse, I 'just happen' to get to the concourse right after the girls get there, so that I am behind the girls.

It is not ideal to approach a woman from behind. So what did I do? I did the six year old thing of tapping one on the right shoulder while I stood to their left. Here's where I really get proud of myself. The girl I tapped on the shoulder looks to her right, see's her friend,  then looks to the left, and see's me, but I'm not looking at her. However I do have a big grin on my face, kinda letting her know that of course it was me. And she was cool because she gave me my next open, she smiled and then gave me a punch on the arm.

Mana from heaven. As soon as she punched me on the arm I knew I was good. I have a routine for that. I yelled 'ouch ouch ouch' and then told her that that was harassment. She actually said "What are you going to do about it, arrest me?" and here is what I did, and I'm proud of the boldness: I grabbed her arms and put them behind her back and went "citizens arrest, citizens arrest". Now, keep in mind I'm in the middle of the concourse, full of people.

It was a total power move, and I think it was what got me her number, ultimately. Anyway, I'm walking her through the crowd with her arms behind her, and the other friend mentions something about handcuffs. I tell the girls that handcuffs are a third date thing, and I prefer to use the leather restraints on girls, but I only do that to girls I like. But I can't get to a third date unless I have a first. Listen, it was a lame segue, but what else was I going to say?

I let the girl go as we have to walk down stairs. She asks me my name (never give out your name, always wait for the girl to ask it) which was a hint to me that I was doing ok. I tell her my name and I don't ask for hers. She tells me her name. I told her I didn't believe it, it sounded fake. We get to the bottom of the stairs and her friend tries to drag her away. I totally called the friend out on it, telling her not to cock block me when I was so close the finish line. The girl I'm working laughs at that, tells me "oh, you're close to the finish are you?" and I said "I mean you were about to give me your number before your friend rudely interrupted." and she laughed. She told me to hurry up because she had a ride waiting for her, and gave me her number.

Boom. Number closed a hottie I just met at the Snoop Dogg concert, with most of the flirting being done out in public (which I think most guys hate doing, so I was proud that I did it without getting too scared).

Now you can't fuck a number, but I am still pretty pleased with myself. She's the hottest chick I've ever picked up in public like that, and to do it in front of a bunch of people does boost one's ego a little. I found out later she is 21, which you know I like, being old and whatnot.

Moral of the story: "Do you want to hear my best opener" is a good opener, so far, and if you are having trouble initiating conversation with girls, try it out.

PS: It's also the first time I have gotten a chicks info at the Saddledome since they got rid of the smoke pit.