Saturday, April 20, 2019

Calgary Flames 2019 Season Is Over, And The Team's Credibility Is Shot

Whelp.

That sucks. And I mean, I pay for season tickets, and I've already given them my $4200 for next year. So it really sucks.

The Flames, who won the West, were eliminated from the playoffs last night. They went out meekly, losing 5-1 in there final game, to lose the series 4-1. To the 8th seed.

The team had a whole swack of players who had career years. Usually when you have 5 or 6 guys having career years, it means you are going to win the whole damn thing, or at least, get past the first round.

But then the games were actually played and the chips landed and boy, is that heartbreaking.

My initial reaction is that this team is a fraud. That no matter how many points it puts up, it doesn't really have a chance at the post season. That players on the roster can't skate between the dots in the post season.

My initial reaction is that this coach is a fraud. The team hadn't played well for since the all start break, and the lines did not change. No tinkering during the regular season when the team needed an octane boost. That's bad enough. The fact that he waited so long into the playoff series to tinker with the roster? Doesn't sit well with me.

The only guys coming out of this looking good, to me, are Smith, the kid european defencemen, and Bennett. Everyone else on the roster comes out of the playoff series looking more negative than they did when they came into it. I don't think any of these opinions are too out there.

What I want to see, following this disaster, is real change. I compare this team to Toronto Raptors. The Raptors were a good team with a solid roster, but that same solid roster, for whatever reason, didn't have a shot at actually winning the league. So, no matter how good the regular season was, the whole thing was a waste of time, they weren't going to win in the post season. So what did the Raptors do? They put on their big boy pants and enacted major surgery to their team. They jettisoned very very good players who were well liked by the fans, and they got LEGITIMATE TOP OF THE LEAGUE PLAYERS. I capitalize that so people understand what's needed. Make a list of the top 5 players in the league...we need to go out and get one of them. Otherwise it's a waste of time.

Would 13 and 23 make a list of top 10 players in the league?

So with that said, I would blow up the team. I know this team, on paper, could probably be kept together for another 5-10 years, as most of the players on it are like 25. But what would be the point?

Spitballing: A blue line without Giordano or Brodie on it (with Anderson and Valimaki as the top pair) would still look just fine. Trade 5 and 7.  7 is probably worthless but you might be able to get something for 5.

Forwards? They all disappointed, really. Bennett should not be leading the team in post season scoring. This area is tougher, because the team doesn't have depth to replace too many people up front, but obviously change should be made. I think you could keep 13, but he can't be your number one option up front. You need to bring in someone real to play with him. I think you need to bring in someone to push 11 down to the third line. Suddenly there are a lot of holes.

13/?/?
19/23/?
88/11/28
10/77/21

And that's me being nice, because I don't know how much appetite I have for guys who are under 180 pounds and under 6'2. So 10, 88, 27...who knows. You would like to get bigger.

But looking at that 'depth chart'...You need to construct a real first line, and you still need to find that scoring winger for the second line. There is a lot of work.

Spitballing: You could trade 23, keep 11 up at the second line, and use Dube as the 3rd or 4th centre. That's a way to create some cap space. You could attach a draft pick to James Neal and make him disappear. That gets you 10 million, or around there, in space. If you trade Brodie and Gio that gets you another 10. The problem is I think you need to get 30 million in cap, because two top line players are going to cost you 20 million, and you still have to fill in the second line winger, re-sign 19 (Honestly, I would trade him if his ask got higher than 7 million. He's as fake a tough guy as there is in this league, doesn't embrace the rat role as much as he should, and got completely exposed in this series. I would trade him if I could get the depth back that would allow me to trade more players to create more cap), and bring a goalie back (in Smith) or in.

Treliving is in a spot. He could defensibly bring back this team. It did win the West. But I would be angry if he did so, I would feel like he was wasting my time. But he could bring it back. I hope he shows some balls and does a major re-tool. Just let someone else do the scouting on free agents.

Furthermore, I think Derek Wills should be fired.

PS: Loubardias was brutal on the radio after the loss. Every gay ass cliche you could imagine. I'd paraphrase his post elimination game analysis as: Maybe the real playoffs were the friends we made along the way. Just useless as an analyst. If the guy you have analyzing the team is too scared to analyze the team because he doesn't want to seem like a dick to the players, fire the fucking analyst. Fucking hell, the fan960 is brutal, brutal radio.

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Dome Beers Take On The 2019 Flames As They Sit On The Verge Of Elimination From The Playoffs In The First Round

Whelp.

The bright side view: The team is being inhibited by it's lack of playoff experience. For those of you who do not speak sportanese, what that means in real life is that they are not acclimated to the pace of play of the playoffs. In real life, if you have ever jumped up a league that is higher skill than perhaps you are, you know that feeling of the game going by too quickly for you. It takes you some time to adjust to the pace of play. That is what is happening, or rather, that is what you can hope is happening, if you subscribe to trying to find the silver linings.

I don't really believe that but as I get older I find it's better for your mind if you try to have multiple perspectives about a topic. The universe is funny, things can be both hot and cold, if you will.

But I actually probably fall into the negative mode of thinking, which is: The Flames are not built for playoff hockey. They are too small, too slow, and too bloodless. They are not willing, as a group, to pay the required price for success in the playoffs.

The Colorado coach had a telling quote at his presser after last nights game. He said something like "We asked our group to be more committed to paying the price for holding onto the puck in their (the Flames) zone, and they have done that."

"Committed to paying the price for holding onto the puck" is a perfect description for what the Flames have lacked in this series.

To my eyes, they look slow, they look nervous, they look overwhelmed. They look bloodless. They look uncommitted to paying a physical price. I don't want to confuse that with 'not trying', because they are trying. But they perhaps are 'not trying' in the areas that are important in the playoffs. I don't know how to quite phrase it.

Has there been a player who has proven to be a bigger fraud than our Sean Monahan? Even Johnny Hockey TM has been shown to be, at best, a support player when the playoff brand of hockey rolls around. The 3M line has not come off smelling like roses, either. Chucky has not been plucky. He's a 5 million dollar player in my view. None of them, to me, look like impact players. Which is terrifying.

What they remind me of is the Derozan led Raptors. Good team, solid players, no hope of ever winning a championship. The Raptors thought big and made big boy moves. They traded their franchises most popular player, brought in a real no-doubts-about-it superstar, and now the franchise and the fans can dream about perhaps winning a championship.

Are the Flames willing to make the big boy moves that are required? Time will tell.

Furthermore, I think Derek Wills should be fired. 

Monday, April 8, 2019

Old Town Road Is Country Enough

From youtube comment section: They made a new genre: G-Haw

Listen, this is old, but country music, for years and years and decades and decades, has devolved it's standards. They have people on synths and drum machines singing with autotune, and they call it country. So country music deserves this. Because Country Music is steel guitars and banjos, and that definition has been dead for 50 years.

So Country Music hasn't been about the sound or the instruments or even the content for years. I wish it was because I like the country sound, but it isn't.

The only debate about whether Old Town Road is country or not is: Does he sing about momma? Or trains? Or prison? Or getting drunk?

And the answer is he does. Kinda. He sings about drinking lean. Close enough.


Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Maybe Nobody Watches Women Hockey Because Its Lower Tier Competition IDK

Like, if it can't work in Calgary, it can't work anywhere.

Anyway, seems to me the story isn't that nobody wants to watch garbage hockey, women or not. It seems to me the story is:

The CWHL lost a financial backer in November. Graeme Roustan of the venture capital firm Roustan Capital withdrew his financial support citing a lack of transparency regarding board expenses.


LOL! It was a grift! Hilarious.

Any analysis that doesn't include that nasty little tidbit would, to me, seem to be a sell job. They're not going to sleep with you, bro.


Wednesday, March 20, 2019

This Is So Hot

Honestly, my dick is so hard from watching this.

I wish I was lying but I'm not. Toilet licking is such a turn on for me.

Have you ever made a chick lick a toilet? I have. I mean, it's hard, at least for me. You got to get the right type of girl. Or just get the girl drunk.

I don't know if I should share the story. But I will say I came so hard in the bitch she had semen coming out her face every time she blew her nose. Like, it's hot as hell.

No point to this post other than to brag about having had a girl lick the toilet while I was banging her doggy style over said toilet. I think the licking of the toilet was even hotter than when I swirlied her after I finished.

And yes, she still took my calls after. Woman love it when you treat them like shit.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Thanks For The Help

I have a buddy. I love the guy, known him since I was in kindergarden. How old are you when you are in kindergarden? 4? I've known this motherfucker my whole life. He's my homie, for realz. Love the guy, no homo.

This motherfucker sends me a video the other day about 'finding your soulmate'. It's a video by an orthodox rabbi. I think. I didn't actually watch it. Why would I? You get into the Game to kill the version of you who believed in Disney.

No, what pissed me off about it was the fact that he outed himself as Just Not Getting It when he sent me the video. He still believes you (me) can find a soulmate. He believes this shit. And now I have to look at this cat, who I love as a brother, and decide whether I should burst his bubble or not.

You know, you get a little good with girls and you start to see reality a little differently. Like in the Matrix movie when the guy can see the code. That's what it's like, you see humans interacting and you see the code behind the surface, not the surface. The surface is lies, the code is the truth. So you see that shit, and it changes you, and you have to decide: should I let my homie in on it?

Am I any happier now that I can 'see the code'? No. I get laid a hell of a lot more, but so what? As a great man said, pussy is only a thing if  you aren't getting it. If you are getting it, it's...it's fucking annoying. I hate to say that but it's true. I don't even know if pussy is worth it. Is this hell?

Why would I want to to do that to my homie? Why would I want to take away Disney from him? It is a better world. It may be fake and made up and not reality, but who cares? My world is real and it fucking sucks. Well that's not true. The loss of the illusion is what sucks. As a man you do want to view women a certain way, and when you know, then you know, and you can't view them in that way anymore.

If I'm actually his friend, I wouldn't wreck the illusion.

***

I went out on the weekend, even though I told myself I wouldn't, and I picked up a young thing. I only did it because some other chick I wanted to fuck told me to die in a fire. Fuck you, Melissa. So I showed her what a cunt she was by picking up some 20 year old and taking her to my home, slapping the handcuffs on her, and going to town.

I think I bought her an uber at like 4 am. Wouldn't even let her stay. I sent the 'you can't say I raped you if you respond to this' text ("Hey I had a great time hanging out last night") about 5 minutes after she left. Didn't respond to her response ("Yeah had a fun time").

She sent me a text on Monday, complaining about how I choked her so hard I left red marks. She didn't like being choked, she said. Bitch, you came when I choked you. Fuck you. Women, amirite?

Just text me back and tell me I'm funny, Melissa.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Feel Good Story Of The Century

I'm in awe of this man.

My last three girl... I don't have girlfriends...what do you call a chick you sleep with for like a month and then get rid of? Whatever those are called, my last three of those have been 18, 19, and 21. Just so you know the appreciation I have for Mr. DiCaprio.

But even I have fucked a 30 year old or two in my time. Hats off to you sir.

(BTW, and I think I have said this before, I don't find much different in the pussy of different races. And I'm a racist so I'd note the pussy differences. You all know my love for Hindu's and I like the colour of the pink against the darker skin, but all pussy is pink. No, the difference in pussy comes from one thing, and that is age. And obviously younger pussy is better than older pussy).


Wednesday, February 27, 2019

How Do You Find Meaning With Women?

There is something that happens when you start learning girls. As you get better at it, as you learn there are certain techniques that you can do to raise your chances with them, as you start using the same script with different women and it still works, you start not liking women as much as you did when you started. It's called 'the seducers paradox'. You still like pussy, but you lose, how do I put it...you lose the ability to fall in love.

And why wouldn't you? You start 'automating' the process of love, that is, you start developing 'systems' towards women, you are going to start seeing them as 'automatons' or just parts in the system. It dehumanizes them to you. If I do X, she'll do Z. Further, you start to develop theories towards women's behaviour, and it makes them seem like a puzzle, a problem to solve, and not a real human.

It's not to say that you start seeing them as objects, but you stop seeing them as unique. To be more clear, you develop a mindset of "Every woman is like every other woman." Now, when we first started off in this game, you would never have thought that. Every woman was unique, and the one you liked was special.

How do you get back to that mindset without sacrificing your seduction abilities? Is it even possible?

I learned women because I wasn't getting any. I wanted to have sex more frequently than I was having it. That was my initial goal in this thing. Then I wanted to have sex with lots of different women. Then I wanted to have sex with lots of different hot women. Ok. Mission accomplished. Now what?

You know what I want now? It's cheesy as fuck, but I want to be able to fall in love. Wouldn't it be nice to be with a woman for more than 3 months and not be bored with her? Or to have her tell me something personal and actually care? These are nice things. I know in the community these things are laughed at, and there is a reason for that, but lets take a step back. These are nice things.

I don't think I'll ever reach a triple digit notch count. When I started, truly, my goal was to at least get a double digit notch count. And I mean now I can go double digits in a year. So mission accomplished. But I'm...I don't want to say I'm not any happier, because that would be a lie. It is a thrill to be able to go up to a hot chick in public and get them to dig you enough that they give you their number at the worst or sleep with you at the best. It isn't lame. But...it's not fulfilling anymore. Maybe it never was.

I'd like to get back to being able to like a woman, genuinely. It's not just on me, I will say the current culture is poison for women and it does contribute, for me at least, an unwillingness to commit. But it is a two way street. There are things for me to work on on my end.

I have a friend who has a 'girlfriend'. It's in square quotes because she isn't real, that is, she isn't located anywhere near him. She lives on the west coast and he lives in the prairies. They met on the internet, and as far as I know have never met in real life. I would not rate this a great relationship using my metrics, but I look at my friend and you know what I see? I see a man that is happy. I'm jealous of that. I may get laid more, but I'm not any happier for it.

He sent me a video of a Rabbi talking about how to find your soul mate. The very concept of the soul mate is the type of thinking that you kill when you want to get good at girls. So I thought it was quaint, but you know what, I think I'm going to watch it.

I'm probably just getting old.

Monday, February 25, 2019

Calgary Flames Raised Season Ticket Prices And Didn't Even Trade For A Winger At The Deadline

I'm totally not mad at having my tickets price raised 10%.

I'm totally not mad the Flames didn't sell a draft pick or two for a NHLer who can score more than Frolic or Bennett can. Totally not mad.


Friday, February 22, 2019

I Picked Up A 21 Year Old Hottie At The Snoop Dogg Concert Last Night

Settle in children and let me begin to regale you with a tale that will give you a grin...

So I'm at the Snoop Dogg concert yesterday. I have been busy all week so I was feeling tired, worn out, just gray. But I had never seen the D O Double G in concert and I'm of that age so I forced myself to go. I just went with my brother.

The concert was at the Dome. There were four acts, Korrupt, Warren G, Bone Thugs, and Snoop. Between the acts, there would be 10 - 15 minutes of 'intermission'. My seats were in 218, and I was sitting in row 12, which is mid row. That's the scene.

Sitting in the front row of section 218 are two very hot chicks. At least 8's, maybe higher depending on your scale. They are dancing with each other and having a good time, and are dressed like they want attention. And they are getting it; as I looked around the section I noticed most of the men were looking at these two girls. However, nobody was approaching them.

The first act ended and intermission starts. I sit in my spot and watch these girls, and I watch these guys watching these girls. What I was looking for is, basically, if these chicks were with boyfriends or dates. So I'm watching, and like I said above, no guy approaches them. I make the mental note, intermission ends and I watch the next act, Warren G I think.

Warren G ends and the next intermission starts. Warren G bored me out of my skull, so I need to do something, you know? I look at my brother and I bet him I can go get the number of at least one of the two hot chicks. He laughs. It's on. And I'll be real, as much as I like pussy and hot chicks, the main emphasis for me to take a shot at these girls was to a) show my brother I could and b) to do it in front of the whole section, so all the guys who were looking at them but not approaching would see it. Don't judge me, but that's the truth. Total ego play.

Before I go my brother suggests I use "what's your favourite snoop song" as an opener, which would have been terrible. I have no idea how he gets any girls using lines like that. Never use shit like that. 100 people before you have. Don't be boring.

So like I said, it's intermission, and I go from my spot and walk up to the hotties. As I walk up I can feel the eyes of the crowd on me. Showtime. And you know what, when I was walking up to them I was thinking about what I should say, and when I got there I just dropped it and went full improv. But I think I discovered a great opener and routine to do, which I want to share with you guys, because I think we should share what works.

The opener I used was, and I'm quite proud of this one, "Hey girls, do you want to hear my best opener?"

Now, an opener is only as good as the bantz behind it, and I can bantz. After they of course said they wanted to hear my best opener, I walked them through a routine I would do to them "if I was attracted to one of you" (another killer line if I do say so myself). I actually used the 'Best Friend' game routine, which has to be 15 years old now. But these chicks hadn't heard it (another reason to hit on young chicks, your old material is new to them).

My game was tight, and I'm joking with these girls when the next act started. Some of you would have tried to spend the concert with these girls, but I'm not a rookie. I used the starting of the act to do a take away. I told the girls I had to get back to my seat, and they actually said 'don't leave' which was nice, and then they said 'please come back later', which was also very nice. But I said I don't know how late I'd be staying, and was there a way we could continue this conversation later? The girls laughed and said 'come back and maybe you can get our numbers'. I said maybe, and I went to leave, but I saw that people were looking at me, so I said to the girls 'before I go, give me a kiss' and they actually did, they both kissed my cheeks at the same time kinda thing.

I was very pleased with myself. As I walked back up to my seats I saw guys looking at me. The double kiss had been for the benefit of the viewing crowd. But kisses on the cheeks are not numbers. How do I get these chicks numbers without looking like a stalker now?

I sat and watched the rest of the concert with my brother, while keeping an eye on the girls. Sometimes they would look up and give me the 'come here' finger gesture, but I didn't bite. I pretended I didn't notice them, I was having a good time without them. Obviously I'm spending the whole time thinking about how to smoothly re-engage to get the numbers.

I don't think what I did was brilliant or anything, but simple is good sometimes. All I did was wait for them to leave after the concert was done, and then I timed my exit so that I would walk by them 'naturally' as they were leaving their seats. So as people are leaving their seat section and spilling into the concourse, I 'just happen' to get to the concourse right after the girls get there, so that I am behind the girls.

It is not ideal to approach a woman from behind. So what did I do? I did the six year old thing of tapping one on the right shoulder while I stood to their left. Here's where I really get proud of myself. The girl I tapped on the shoulder looks to her right, see's her friend,  then looks to the left, and see's me, but I'm not looking at her. However I do have a big grin on my face, kinda letting her know that of course it was me. And she was cool because she gave me my next open, she smiled and then gave me a punch on the arm.

Mana from heaven. As soon as she punched me on the arm I knew I was good. I have a routine for that. I yelled 'ouch ouch ouch' and then told her that that was harassment. She actually said "What are you going to do about it, arrest me?" and here is what I did, and I'm proud of the boldness: I grabbed her arms and put them behind her back and went "citizens arrest, citizens arrest". Now, keep in mind I'm in the middle of the concourse, full of people.

It was a total power move, and I think it was what got me her number, ultimately. Anyway, I'm walking her through the crowd with her arms behind her, and the other friend mentions something about handcuffs. I tell the girls that handcuffs are a third date thing, and I prefer to use the leather restraints on girls, but I only do that to girls I like. But I can't get to a third date unless I have a first. Listen, it was a lame segue, but what else was I going to say?

I let the girl go as we have to walk down stairs. She asks me my name (never give out your name, always wait for the girl to ask it) which was a hint to me that I was doing ok. I tell her my name and I don't ask for hers. She tells me her name. I told her I didn't believe it, it sounded fake. We get to the bottom of the stairs and her friend tries to drag her away. I totally called the friend out on it, telling her not to cock block me when I was so close the finish line. The girl I'm working laughs at that, tells me "oh, you're close to the finish are you?" and I said "I mean you were about to give me your number before your friend rudely interrupted." and she laughed. She told me to hurry up because she had a ride waiting for her, and gave me her number.

Boom. Number closed a hottie I just met at the Snoop Dogg concert, with most of the flirting being done out in public (which I think most guys hate doing, so I was proud that I did it without getting too scared).

Now you can't fuck a number, but I am still pretty pleased with myself. She's the hottest chick I've ever picked up in public like that, and to do it in front of a bunch of people does boost one's ego a little. I found out later she is 21, which you know I like, being old and whatnot.

Moral of the story: "Do you want to hear my best opener" is a good opener, so far, and if you are having trouble initiating conversation with girls, try it out.

PS: It's also the first time I have gotten a chicks info at the Saddledome since they got rid of the smoke pit.

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Remember, If You Sign An Organ Donor Card, The Doctors Will Kill You

Kids, if you sign anything with the authorities that says that when you die you'd like them to harvest your organs, the doctors or paramedics or whoever will kill you when they get the chance. 

The organs are valuable. They will let you die so they can get them. Don't sign the organ donor card. 

Stay woke. 

Thursday, February 7, 2019

WTF I Hate The Raptors Now

They traded my favourite player on the team, JV.

The last time the Raptors traded my favourite player on the team, Rudy Gay, it actually worked out. The time before that when the Raptors traded my favourite player on the team, Charlie V, it did not work out.

I do not like it when the Raptors trade players I like. JV was a good.

Eh, the Raptors will not be making the Eastern Finals. Trading a scoring PF for a scoring PF doesn't strike me as too great of an add. They needed to keep the team they had and add to it a scorer, either a wing or a guard. They don't have enough as is.

They should have traded for Lou Williams.

Anyway, I hate the Raptors now. Go Bucks.

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

I Just Got One Comment On The SOTU: Why Are They Wearing White During Winter?

The democrat broads all wore white...I didn't get it. I'm a dumb dumb, someone will have to explain it. But I didn't like it. It's winter. You don't wear white in winter. I'm a dude and I know that. It's a spring colour.

Maybe I'm out of touch. I don't know anymore. But to me it would be like wearing a seersucker suit in February.

Maybe communists see fashion differently. Yet another strike against them, frankly.

***

I went out on the weekend and pulled a bird. It reminded me why I had stopped going out to pull birds. They bug you after.

Eh, I kinda like this one. She has Strahan teeth, I don't know what it's actually called, gap tooth I guess. I've always been into that look. I don't really like anything else about her. She isn't fat but her tits aren't huge and she didn't let loose during sex. Some chicks do that when you are 'new'.

I want to talk about that phenomenon actually, because it has happened to me more times than I care to remember and it always makes me laugh inside my head. I get a girl home who I have known for a scant few hours, and she's down to fuck and we start fucking, but she doesn't go all out because...she doesn't want me to think she's a slut or whatever? Like, you know what I mean? And to them it makes perfect sense.

I've shared this before, I think, but the example I always think of in my head is this one time where I had matched with this chick on Tinder, got her number within 3 messages, got her to meet me within 5 texts, picked her up at the bus stop, drove her over to my place, had her sucking my dick within the hour, and she looks up at me, takes my cock out of her mouth, and tells me she doesn't fuck on the first date, she's not that type of girl. Like, she has tears in her eyes because I've been throat fucking her, but she isn't that type of girl.

***

People don't you know don't you know it's bout that time

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Some Girl Called Me From A Private Number All Night Last Night

Women...

I have gone out like one time all January. I haven't gotten any pussy in January, and that's probably why. I had a harem in 2018 but I cut them all at the start of 2019.

So that's the situation. And then, yesterday, starting at about 1 AM and going till about 2ish, someone calls my phone from a 'private number', continually.

I didn't pick it up, as I always assume a call from a private number is a cop, and I've been told not to speak to cops, that's what lawyers are for. But my phone's screen comes on when it gets called, and it was flashing for about an hour, keeping me up.

It was one of those flashes that woke me up. I look at my phone and it's ringing from a private number, they really want to get a hold of me, but I notice that they must have left a message.

The message goes, and as I'm writing this I'm kicking myself for deleting it last night, but it goes "Hey this is Medical Clinic and your test results came back and you have the clap, call us back at some number". (Now I'm like 'why did I delete that' as I could have searched the number, maybe some clue would have emerged). Obviously a crank call. One, I haven't gone to get tested for an STD in a while, and two, I don't have STD's despite my high risk habit of fucking strange girls without a condom, because I don't do Mondays.

So I got a stalker, I guess. Which is cool, but what is bugging me is this: like 90% of the girls I get with end up falling for me, and when I don't reciprocate, they end up hating me. I have a phone list full of women who hate me. So my list of suspects is not small.

Ladies, if you want attention from a man, just ask for it.

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

I Haven't Had Pussy All Month

I haven't fucked at all in January. I'm going to go crazy. In my defense, I've only gone out 'hunting' once this month. I got a number but I doubt I'll call it.

I've been in a mood. I've been unmatching chicks on the dating apps. You never unmatch chicks. Like, as a rule. But I've been unmatching chicks after two messages. I get one whiff of 'boring' and I'm pulling the chute. And all women are boring.

2018 was a good year for me for pussy, and it was a bad year. I fucked more chicks this year than I ever had in a year, which is good. I took some targets off my list as well. I'd never fucked an asian chick, and I fucked a bunch. I'd never fucked a redhead, and I fucked one (who was 19). I fucked a chick from the maritimes, which I had wanted to do, for some reason. I fucked a chick who spoke french. I fucked a blonde who was a month out of highschool. It was a good time.

But you know what? It's nothing special. A redhead's pussy feels like an asian chicks pussy feels like a french chicks, etc. So I took a bunch of targets off my list, and you know what I got out of it? Disillusionment.

This is no way to live.


Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Weird Email From Flames: Special Announcement Regarding March 2 Game

Got a cryptic email from the Flames today. All season ticket holders did. I just wrote that to gloat about being a season ticket holder. In the two hundreds. Pretty sweet. Gonna get to watch the team win the Cup live, and not have to do it in the wasteland that is the 300 section either.

Anyway...Special announcement on the game March 2. They are going to tell us all what it is about tomorrow, per the email.

I looked at the shitty Flames blogs and didn't see this mentioned. Then I went to Calgary Puck and they have a speculation thread. The speculation seems to be that Iginla will have his jersey retired. The theory I liked was that it was a tough game to move tickets for, so that's why they are choosing this game.

Ehh...I don't know. When I saw the email my immediate thought was also a jersey retirement, either Iggie's or Kipper's. Minnesota though...

Could it be anything else? I haven't slept all week, I can't really think of  it being anything else (in this state). Wait...they could retire #14.

They should Forever A Flame Ferland when we play Carolina.

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Experts

The thing about the lowest of the low, journalists and reporters, trying to make themselves a professional guild, always strikes me as funny. Because these people are the most vapid people you will ever meet. I've dated some. They don't know how to tie their shoes.

So it's an idea that should be pushed back on. The great thing about this new social media age is that you can see how unqualified most of these people are in real time.

I wouldn't hire these people to walk my dog without five character references.

Anyway...the experts, doing expert things. Wonders never cease.

Friday, January 11, 2019