Friday, October 26, 2018

And You Thought The Flames Had A Rough Night

Yesterday was bad, but at least it wasn't "woman tries to bite off your dick" bad.

I don't know, gang. I left midway through the second period, after they pulled Smith, so I didn't get to hear the crowd boo the team off the ice. But I had seen enough. It was shit.

How do you fix it?

If it's me, if I'm coaching, I have the team play a trap. I might let them have one guy forecheck, that's it. I clog up the neutral zone and I play for turnovers.

There is some stat out there that says the Flames have given up the most high danger scoring chances in the league. Play the fucking trap.

The next thing I do is I start instituting fines, team wide fines, if the players don't respond to physicality. I saw 19 get hit in the head early in the first period, and no Flame even went over to chat with the guy who did it, let alone stand up for one of their meal tickets. I know the nerds are going to cry about this, but there is more to the world than what you can see. A gang mentality is a good thing to have for a sports team, and the Flames don't have it. The only way to force these pussies to stand up for each other is probably through monetary means. So I'd institute fines for pussyiness.

I think that's about all they can do. There is no trade coming, they don't have cap space next year to make a splash, this has to be fixed internally. It's on the coaching staff.

Furthermore, I think Derek Wills should be fired.

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Game Post: Silly Joke Texting

Like most dudes hunting, at some point you will find your phone full of numbers. If you are like me, you will remember some of them and you won't remember others. All the 'K's in my phone, for instance, I had no clue who they were. Did I just get a number? Did we go on a date? Did we fuck? Well, what do you do with these numbers?

What I did this week is I texted all the girls in my phone who were 'dead' (read: inactive, hadn't texted for at least a month or more) a silly halloween joke. My phone lets me send out texts to multiple people without it becoming a multi message, which was nice. Total brag here, but I sent out about 40 texts. It's been a good year for DB.

The joke should be very lame. Mine was "Why is the skeleton so calm? Because nothing gets under it's skin!"

I did this, initially, to see what the response from these girls would be. I have a halloween party this weekend to go to and didn't have a solid lead on a date. Necessity being the mother of invention, that is what I came up with.

I was actually surprised by the reaction. Not all the girls will respond back to you. In my first batch of 20, I got 7 responses. Those responses fell into:

1) Who is this?
2) Lol.
3) Response with their own lame joke.

From my perspective, any response is a good one. If they ask who this is, I tell them, but I say "Did we end that badly deleted me out of your phone? smile emoji" and that usually defuses any tension, if there was any. Nobody who asked me "who is this?" and got my above response was upset with me. One wanted me to take her to dinner that night.

The 'lol' responses were more tepid. Those I let sit, or sent another joke to the following day. I don't see how you can respond to 'lol' and not lose some frame. The response I have been going with, besides sending them another joke the next day, has been "now you owe me a joke" which some respond to and some don't.

The girls who responded immediately with their own lame jokes have been the best in terms of continued communication. The hindu chick, for instance, is now speaking to me again. I don't know if I like that, but that's another post. I will say when you get another joke back, it's fairly easy to transition that into teasing the girl for sending you a lame joke. You judo the situation. And at this point you should know that girls love to get teased.

So, that's my tip. Use it before halloween has passed.