Tuesday, April 10, 2018


It's weird what we get excited for. Getting up for stuff that really has no impact. But nothing has an impact. One day the sun will become engorged and this world will burn to a crisp. So, really, it isn't weird that we get excited over the meaningless. It's normal.

I play in the Jewish Hockey League in Calgary. Despite the stereotypes, there are some MoT's that can really play. I am not one of them, but whatever. It's a good time, and I enjoy it. My skillz have improved tremendously since I've been playing. Four or five years now.

I think this is the third year we have used a team format. The first couple of years it was a pick up league. So with the team format comes playoffs.

The first year we had playoffs my team didn't make it out of the first round. The second year we made it to the finals, and lost. I make it to the finals and lose in lots of the rec league sports I play. You start to really get sick of being second place.

This year, I'm on a good team and we might be able to win the whole damn thing. That's the goal, at least. We are currently up 1 to zip in the first round. Best out of three. Need one more win to go to the finals.

It's weird what we get excited for. I deleted the pussy apps from my phone, but I don't think I deleted deleted them. I still get emails about 'so and so is into you!', so I must still have a profile out there. I used to get really excited to get those emails, but now, not so much. Part of it is actually meeting some of the girls who use those apps. Part of it is work. And then the other part of it is having other shit to get excited about. I went to sportscheck and bought laces for my skates. Couple bucks. I was more excited for that than anything I have purchased recently, save the red leather jacket. You'd think I would have yawned through the lace purchase and been excited about the female interest, but no, it was the other way around.

Sports is weird like that, and that's why I like sports. The competition is what is good. I use to be a sports nut when I was younger, and by that I mean I was really interested in the professional league. Now, not so much. I watch them still, but I like watching them to learn moves, to learn the thinking behind certain plays, if that makes sense. Now I watch to appreciate. Cheering for the laundry is still fun, but I don't get into as much as I used to.

Anyway, I have a game tonight and I'm sitting on hold so I'm writing to bleed off some of the nervous energy. If I don't win tonight my mood will be sour for a month, even if we end up winning the series. Shit is weird but it isn't.

Monday, April 9, 2018

E Thots

Tax time starts March. At the start of March I deleted Tinder and Bumble and whatever the fuck else I was on. I have a habit of chasing pussy, and the internet brings pussy to you with these apps. So I'm on these apps when I should be doing other shit, like working. So I deleted them.

There is a bit of withdrawal because instead of swiping for pussy you start thinking about all the pussy you are missing out on by not swiping, which isn't productive either. And when you work longer hours than you usually do you get tired so you don't get out as much. So you really think about not swiping for pussy.

But you get over it, and you still want pussy, so I've been forcing myself to go out even when I am tired. Nothing cool. No bars or clubs. I should but I just haven't felt into it. So like, the mall, the grocery store, little lunch places, smoke pits, dog parks, places like that. And I've been approaching. That's like half the battle. Just going up and striking up a conversation.

Not giving a fuck is another big chunk of the battle. Chicks can tell if you try, and if you try it must mean you either like them, or you aren't getting pussy. Chicks hate guys who like them ("who could like me? He must be weird") and they hate guys who aren't already fucking ("If he isn't fucking he must be weird"), so you gotta act like you could care less. Which is fine because I can actually do that because my perspective on life is kinda in that wheelhouse anyways. So I've been getting blowed out most of the time because I'm having fun teasing these girls and I take it too far. Grenading, if you will. But sometimes the chick is into it and I get a number.

Chicks on Tinder are vapid airheads. Even the educated ones I bagged...you'd never know it. They all act the same. And if they are a little cute they have an army of guys sending them messages all day every day. You compete with the chemical rush they get when their phone makes a sound. And because you don't even need to be that cute to have an army of thirsty guys pining for you, all the girls have an entitled attitude. Whatever, you are just trying to fuck and not really interested in anything more so you put up with it. But you notice and it gets to you. Having to deal with a woman who lives in fantasy world, I mean.

So I figured since I deleted the app I would get away from that. I'd meet normal girls and we could act normal and go about courtship in a normal way. Except what the hell is normal? Normal is freakish, it doesn't exist anymore. If it ever did.

What am I even getting at with this post? Well, I've met two girls in the last two weeks who have an army of instagram followers. Like, tens of thousands. I'm not super familiar with IG, I have it on my phone and I use it to scout some of these chicks, but I don't really use it myself. But I mean, I met an iraqi girl at the park the other day and she had 13,000 followers. What? The girl I just met at lunch had 19K followers. What the fuck?

So I deleted the internet pussy apps and then all the girls I have met since are E-Thots anyways. Can't win for losing.