Friday, February 6, 2015

Shitty Attempt At Cap Projection

Playoffs got me catching the vapours.

HOW MUCH CAP CAN WE ADD?

This is shitty and poorly done. I should have projected like five years down the road. I only did it for next year. I probably did it wrong, too. Fucking math, how do them work? and all that.

tl/dr: we got 24.3 in cap space, we'd have 10 roster spots to fill, most of those spots are in the forward ranks. We have a ton of cheap RFA guys / minor league guys who could fill them. Only real raise not booked in (ie Brodie is booked in) is Backlund. He gets what? 3 - 4 million? So assume 20 million to fill 9 spots, and we have the internal depth to fill them without having to go to market.

In short: We can add a big ticket guy, I think, and still be able to pay Gio the equity share in the team he is going to ask for.

I'm going to assume when Hudler and Jones come off the books, 23 and 13 will be taking those cap numbers.  With that assumption in place (and the further assumption that we would then replace Hudler and Jones roster spot with cheap kids) I think we can add at least one more big ticket guy to this group.

DION!!!1!!1!

Fuck. I really should have projected 5 years out. Fuck me. 


Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


Thursday, February 5, 2015

Shoutout To The Cute Chick Usher In 217 Who Helped Me Steal Seats Last Night

We beat San Jose and are in fifth place.

Pretty good.

Two chicks kissed on the jumbotron kiss cam.

Very great.

 Aaaand that's about it. Don't really have anything else right now. I drank three beers in the third period because people bought me a couple so I was kinda on the spot, and my poor brain is paying the price for that this morning.

Oh, yeah. Playoffs.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired. 


Wednesday, February 4, 2015

San Jose Game Biggest Game Of The Year For Given Values Of Big

I'm becoming the fan I hate.

I got season tickets this year. Wonderful. Exciting. Thrilling. Cool. I was, as the kids 20 years ago would say, stoked. And for the first, I don't know, eight games, I was really digging it, groovy. But now, like in game 80000 or whatever we are at (I think it's like 26 or something) I'm getting grinded down.

They play like, every other day, man. And, like, how can people make these start times? And, like, stay for a whole game? The whole thing? And the three stars afterwords? Where's my fainting couch?

So yeah, I'm becoming that guy. Not proud of it, but it remains true nonetheless.

And the team is winning! I don't even know what I'd be like if we were losing. For christ's sakes, never get old, kids. It's corrosive for your soul.

***

Power Rankings

Two teams in the West that are currently in the playoffs that have a corsi% of some particular flavour under 50%. The Flames and the Canucks. Of the teams nipping at the Flames heels (COL, MIN, DAL, LA) only Colorado has a corsi% of some particular flavour under 50%.

I don't know what that means but it appears to be a thing. The Flames are scoring goals on the shots they take. As we saw during the horrible desert of a losing streak, that 'trick' can go away.

It will be interesting to watch.

***

Dion is becoming a thing.

I've been championing it all season, so I'm like a pioneer and shit. But I didn't know his contract was 7 million x 7 years. Holy fuck.

I think the guy would be a good fit slotted behind Gio and Brodie. But that's a lot of money and term.

Still... Dion and Wideman. On the same blueline. Imagine it kids. Could it get any more car-crash-terrific?

***

San Jose game is tonight and I'm going. I'll let ya'll know which celebrity I run into this time.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired. 


Tuesday, February 3, 2015

DB Makes The Morning Show

So I was at the Flames game last night. We were playing the Jets. It was a big game. And we won. Huge.

Anyways, I'm sitting chilling in the Nosebleeds when I go "fuck that noise" to my bro, and we move down into the lower bowl.

I guess we ended up in seats in the Flames family section or something like that. There was a row of people with Hudler jerseys. Someone got a call about John Hockey's injury in the intermission, a puck hit his wrist, no big deal (which is insane because that has happened to me and it hurts for a week). It was pretty actually pretty neat.

As I am sitting in my empty row, enjoying my beer and popcorn, this dude in a suit plops right down next to me. I look over and "Oh, that's Rhett!" I say to my brother, who knows who Warrener is. Rhett says something to a kid sitting in the row in front of ours. Now, I'm a pretty astute dude, so I get the brain a'crackin' on putting two and two together, and I drop this beauty line on him:

DB: Is that your kid?

RW: It is! (He says it like a proud dad, which I liked because I'm a softie for that shit)

DB: I bet he's skating better than you already!

RW: Wouldn't take much!

Boom. What a line. DB, you sure do got a quick wit. Oh, I know, but thank you, thank you.

Later some guy came down to get Rhett's autograph and I told him he needs to start charging $5. He thought that was funny too, but I mean it was a line from me so that was a given.

And then the most scandalous part: I asked Rhett whether it was in, and he didn't say it was. He said he wished it was, shrug. Faith breaking.

Anyways, I wake up to twitter chirps about how my amazing line made the morning show. Cool!

But I have to point this out. As it was relayed to me, Rhett said I sat down next to him. Oh no. He sat next to me. It may seem like a little thing but when you are a big star like me you gotta make sure these things are clear.

And Walker said he outed me to Rhett. So thank you Rhett, for not punching me.


Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


Monday, February 2, 2015

Holy Shit The Flames Have A Chance At The Playoffs!

I don't know what to do with this thing.

Google just charged me for another year. I guess I still have it.

But, I don't know what to do with it. The Flames are not crushing me with disappointment. So I have no idea what to write about.

Strange thing, this 'being happy with the team'.

It's February 2. Flames are in the playoffs, three points up on Darryl Sutter's Kings. It's incredible. The best part? No fucking hype out of the team's marketing department to start the year. It's a pleasant little gift.

I may write about it more. I don't know. I like how I've killed the site off, so I can write without many people reading. So I might start.

I think I'm going to get rid of the girls on the sidebar. I like girls. But having to update that shit exposed me as the lazy twat I am. So I could choose to be less lazy, which, fuck that shit, or just get rid of it and post girls in the post. I can hide the girls after a line break so people don't have to see it if they don't want. I think that's the way to go.

Superbowl was yesterday. I watched the whole thing. People are telling me it was shitty but I think that's because I am surrounded by shithawk fans. I thought it was an entertaining game, for the Superbowl. It was no Steelers v Cardinals, obviously.

I actually wrote all that shit above so I could get to this, the whole reason I logged into the blog. I was going to tweet it, but I tweet too much as it is.

As someone who is sort of out of the pop culture loop, I didn't really know who Katy Perry was. I only knew she (supposedly) had this sweet rack. I was thoroughly disappointed in the level of breasteses Ms. Perry was packing.

Honestly, all the noise you hear about them, I thought they would be a big fucking deal. Like everything else that is hyped today, aignt worth the lung gas.

Missy Elliot? I shit. I'm getting old. That noise was 'current' to me when it came out, aka I was a teenager when Get Your Freak On was cracking pavement. I didn't even like it that much. But when she came on the other day, it was like a cultural touchstone. I Remember!, my old ass thought, that was Cool!

If I was a good writer I'd use that as a lead in for something. But...but...

Winnipeg Jets are in tonight. Big game. I'm going. Maybe I'll write about it after. Who knows?


Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.