Friday, April 13, 2012

We Now Interrupt #Lanny2012 To Bring You 'Starship Troopers'

"This is for all you new people: I only have one rule. Everyone fights. No one quits. You don't do your job, I'll shoot you myself. You get me?"- Jean Rasczak

Jean Rasczak for coach!

(Because Rico's Roughnecks vets keep asking: 1:21:29.)


Lanny 2012

Good interview with The Man on the FAN960 morning show today.

The show producer put up a link to it. HERE IS THE LINK.


Lanny would have started the rebuild. Two years ago. He seems to have some strange notions about how kids play with more enthusiasm, and how hockey teams should be fast and skilled. It's really insane.

Lanny for President. Lanny for GM. #Lanny2012.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Hey Merkel, Brent Sutter isn't coming back!

Damn! She is so happy she shit herself.

Craig Hartsburg, a coach with NHL experience (translation: a coach who has been fired already in the NHL) is already on the payroll. Seems reasonable to think he is probably the next guy in line for these Flames to murp on.

Hey Merkel, what do you think of the idea of the Flames naming Hartsburg coach?

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The One Where I Break Kayfabe

This is a niche post for a certain sub-demo of my audience. You know who you are.

I'm breaking kayfabe here. So if you don't like when I break kayfabe, skip reading this one.




Alright. I make fun of the media personalities in this city. I do that a lot. You wanna know why?

There are a lot of reasons. Sometimes they deserve it because they write ridiculous things. Eric Francis, right? And sometimes I do it because I know, or at least think I do, how to ask questions in certain ways to get particular answers, and when I see the media do that, I like to call them out on it. Sometimes I do it because I think the direction of their coverage is going the wrong way. I also do it when I sense they are being advocates to a position that I do not agree with. Sometimes I do it because I am bored, and if they are what is causing me to be bored, well, I go asshole. This is not an exhaustive list, but I think you get the point.


If I came on this site and wrote about how my buddy Jon had this ridiculous idea about how the Flames should sign Jokinen to a five year extension, and then went on to argue against my buddy Jon's bad opinion...a) nobody knows who the fuck my buddy Jon is, and b) nobody would care. See point 'a'.

Think of it this way: If George Johnson wrote article after article about a blog called 'Dome Beers' his editors would say: Who the fuck is that? And why should anybody care? 

This website is a niche interest website. That niche is the Calgary Flames. Therefore, if you work for the FAN960, QR77, Calgary Sun, Calgary Herald, or SNET and you cover the Flames, or people who watch the Flames know who you are, you are therefore eligible to be used as a foil.

It's not personal; I haven't met the people who work for these media outlets. How could I hate people I have never met? And believe me, I understand there are pressures that the media have to operate under, and threats to access are very real things, especially in this market (Editors note: if you don't know why threats to access in this market is a real thing, why are you even reading this blog?), and can affect a persons livelihood in a very real way.

At the end of the day, I view myself as a Marat, and Dome Beers as a pamphlet. Therefore, I have to call people out on pom-pom waiving EVEN IF I SUSPECT THAT PERSON DOESN'T REALLY BELIEVE WHAT THEY ARE SAYING.

Look, there is a reason why I am 'anonymous'. Ken King is an extremely powerful man, and I'd like to be able to work in and show my face in polite company in Calgary one day. I understand how he has co-opted the media into another arm with which to sell tickets. I get how the media might be harangued into publishing news King can use to sell tickets, and not news the fans can use to evaluate how the team is being run.

But I have to call the media out. I didn't gain an audience by trying to worm my way into the establishment. When I write that I don't want a job covering the Flames, it really is true. I'm not after anything else than, as corny as this sounds, speaking truth to power. I gained an audience, however meager, because I seek, in between the sophomoric, hackish attempts at being a comedian, the truth.  The Truth.

Media is powerful. They can shape the opinions of the people who don't pay attention all that close, and the majority don't. They can make illegitimate opinion legitimate, and vice versa. So when I see the media using that power for what I view as 'bad', ie: protecting the front office, covering for them and covering bad decisions, I have to use my meager voice for 'good'.

At the end of the day, when you boil it all down, this is what is left: I feel the media in this city does not speak truth to power. So I cajole. And I try to do it in a way that I think won't bore people; I talk like a sailor in real real life, (which is kinda sad because I have read enough books to have a large enough vocabulary not too), so I am going to write like a sailor and debate like a sailor, too. That is what that is about. People seem to like it.

During the French Revolution, there were hundreds of newspapers, but there were two in particular that mattered: The 'Friend of the People' and the 'Friend of the King'. I find that reference extremely appropriate. And I am firmly on the side of the people.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Hey Everybody! Who Wants To Check Out Scott Hall's Mugshot?

I do! I do! (via

Ay, yo!
The Bad Guy. In happier times.

He sounds like Olli Jokinen. He probably has a career ahead of him butchering commercials for Country Hills Toyota. If only he would just sober up.


And what an update.

So if you had him arrested for "Beating his woman after several days of drinking' on your bingo card, you win!

...And his woman doesn't want to press charged. Because Scott loves her and this is so out of character and we just don't know him like she does. Or something.

Hey, we are Flames fans. So don't judge. We can relate to the psychology.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Are You Sure?

Lots of rebuild talk. Lots and lots of rebuild talk. Talk, talk, talk, talkity, talk, talk.

This player should go, that player should go, etc. Not a lot of talk, however, about whether the people tasked with the task are up to the, err, task.

Ken King traded Dion Phaneuf for Matt Stajan.

Jay Feaster traded Brad Richards for Mike Smith.

John Weisbrod traded Tracy McGrady for Steve Francis.

So I ask again, are you all so sure? Are you all so sure you want these people making one of the most important decisions in franchise history?

These are the people who brought you a full season of 'Rob Kerr and Charlie Simmer play the morgue'. These are the people responsible for the decision to play 'Barbra Streisand' after the Flames score a goal at home.

And are you so sure?

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.