Friday, February 3, 2012

So Chris Bu(minus7)er Is Still On The Top Pairing

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing but expecting different results. This is, of course, ridiculous.

It is ridiculous because everyone knows the definition of insanity is expecting Chris Butler to be able to handle Kane or Hossa on the rush. has the projected blue line pairings up, and it's the same old same old. Jay 'I'm the Livan Hernandez of the NHL' Blowsover and Chris But7er on the top pairing. Gio is babysitting Hannan, and Brodie is babysitting Sarich.

I get the logic. I do. If the club only has three semi-trustable defensemen, pair them with the slugs and minimize the damage of a poorly constructed D-corps. At least, that is the logic I see working with these pairings.

Thing is though, gang, it's not working. Team is 13th in the league in the goals against category, but that includes the fact Kipper has been Kipper this year. They are 25th in the league in 5-5 for and against (0.85), and they give up over 30 shots a night. Nobody playing on the blue line is a plus player.

(Contrast this with Chicago. They are 25th in the league in goals against; they give up a ton of goals. But they are even at 5-5 for and against, and they give up less than 30 shots a night. Also, despite giving up so many goals, of their top four dmen, three of them are pluses. (Kipper for Toews!))

Chicago, if you look at the projected lineups, is employing a different logic, one that I like more. Chicago has their four best defensemen in their top four spots. They go Keith/Seabrook Hjalmawhatanameyougotson/Leddy. And then they play the shit outta those guys. K/S both are eating ~25 minutes, and H/L are eating ~20+ minutes a night. Which means Montador only needs to be playing 10 minutes. See the Betty (90's slang!) in their system?

Dombeer-aholics, we have the pieces. We have a coach who is terrible, but we do have the personnel to do this. Bouwmeester/Gio Brodie/ANYBODYNOTNAMEDBUTLER. If you are in a pinch Butler works as the fourth guy, I guess. That would mean playing Hannan and Sarich together for like 10 minutes a game, which is shit-your-pants scary, but hey, the team did just recently trade for 'Still A Legitimate Prospect' AHL All-Star Brett Connolly.

To conclude, I can't wait until Dave Tippett is coaching this team. Lanny4Prez, too.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

He Certainly Is No Geoffrey

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.

I Still Cant Get Over The Fact SNet Put Ads Up On The Glass During McCrimmon's Memorial

So Chris Butler sucks.

Goal #1: Kindly role tape to 7:10.

Goal #2: Kindly role tape to 9:00

Uhh, guys, what the fuck is Butler (Bu7ler? But7er?) doing out there?

Well, besides being exposed, that is.

Goal #1 at 7:10 (which is actually goal #2 for Detroit yes I know): Butler is attacked with speed and falls down at the blueline. Like your little kid does in midget.

You know who wouldn't have fallen down? Gio. Because he can skate. But keep putting Butler out on the first pairing, Sutter. It's working out great.

Goal #2: at 9:00: HE TAKES THE WRONG MAN! Red Wings #11 and #43 are coming down the wing towards Butler. Cammo is coming up the ice too, backchecking. #43 of Detroit has the puck, so logically, that is who Cammo is skating to try to backcheck. Also, #43 is the player farthest away from the goalie; that is, he is on the far side of the ice (on the boards). Also, he isn't Jagr, so he probably won't score if he is kept to the outside on that angle.

So what does Butler do? When #43 and #11 hit the blue line, Butler goes to check #43, who has the puck on a bad angle. Can someone explain why he does this? Especially because he can see Cammo coming up the ice to cover #43? Is it just as simple as the game moves too fast for Butler? Anyway, Butler takes #43, which opens up a giant lane for #11 of the Wings. Butler literally gives #11 an open lane on Kipper. WHICH IS FUCKING AWFUL FOR A SUPPOSED NHL PLAYER TO DO, ESPECIALLY ONE WHO PLAYS ON THE TOP PAIRING!

You guys, Brent Sutter is a bad coach. Butler has given up a shitty goal like these two examples seemingly every game he plays. And yet, he keeps getting the top pairing spot. That, to me, is a coach putting a player in a situation where they will not succeed, and to me, it's bad coaching. And the NHL is not a developmental league, no matter what the Oilers do. If we are giving him the minutes so he can develop in a year where the clubs goal seems to be to try to make the playoffs, well, those two 'principles' (for lack of a better developed vocabulary) are incongruent.

Question: Quick, without looking, who has played more this year, Babchuk or Moss?

Why am I asking this? Puck Daddy ran a piece about the trade deadline, and for Calgary, he put as the player most likely to get traded Babchuk.

Thanks Wysh. Honestly. The team needs all the help it can get if it is going to trade this guy.

Answer: Babchuck. 17 GP to 15.

And people say 2.5 million dollars (or 5 if you count the whole contract) doesn't buy you anything anymore.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardis Ken King should be fired.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Stay Classy, Sportsnet

This happened.

Sportsnet. Fueled by greed.

(assist to Darren Garlough for the screen shot) 

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.

Examining Sportak's Shill Job

CALGARY - For all those who think the Calgary Flames aren’t rebuilding, just look at the last month alone.

Shit Randy. You actually wrote that? In a published medium? With your name attached to the statement, and everything? Damn, dawg. Unfortunate.

GM Jay Feaster may not be tearing down his roster or holding a fire sale with every pending unrestricted free agent, but he is doing more than just splashing a coat of paint on the walls with his recent moves.

 Hey, Randy? Hi, Dome Beers guy here. How ya doing? Anyways Randy, I thought I would point out to you, in a gentle manner of course, that when people who aren't on the payroll of the Calgary Flames talk about 'rebuilding' they are in fact actually referring to the roster being torn down and the organization attempting to trade every pending unrestricted free agent. That's kinda what 'rebuild' means, brah.

I like how you are maintaining the polite fiction that 'GM' Jay Feaster is in control of the hockey ops though. Ken tip extra for that?

Monday’s swap of minor-league defenceman John Negrin, who played three games for the Flames in 2009, to the Winnipeg Jets for minor-league winger Akim Aliu could end up being nothing.

I don't know gang, but 'could end up being nothing' sure sounds like an euphemism for 'just splashing paint on the walls' to me. 

However, Negrin had fallen so far down the depth chart — it’s too bad injuries derailed his career — that he didn’t appear to have a future with the Flames, so they decided to take a chance on an already well-travelled forward. If Aliu can “get it”, maybe the Flames will have something good.

I'm glad I live in a sports media environment where the swap of two career minor leaguers is evidence of a rebuild. No really, I am.

Also, what is this 'If Aliu can "get it"' shit? Get what? Hands? Skating ability? Aliu is known as a retard, I get that, but his retardness isn't keeping him out of the league Matt Cooke plays in. It's his talent. If Aliu wasn't 6'4 220, he'd be out of the game already.

Things already look improved in the deal which saw centre Blair Jones come from the Tampa Bay Lightning in exchange for defenceman Brendan Mikkelson, and dealing Brendan Morrison to the Chicago Blackhawks for minor-league all-star defenceman Brian Connelly is looking to the future.

Uhh, Blair Jones isn't an NHLer, Randy. No matter what sweet nothings Ken whispers into your ear. If anything, the fact that Blair Jones is getting into the lineup speaks to the lack of depth on the team, not to Blair Jones's ability to play hockey. He should be viewed as a stop gag acquired due to Moss being injured. Or in other words, he is a splash of paint on the wall.

Aw yes, 'minor league All-Star' Brian Connelly. You guys know what 'minor league All-Star' means? It means you aren't good enough to play in the NHL. See: Krys Kolanos. I mean, acquiring him is looking to the future, for sure, but it is looking towards the Heats future. 

As for the Michael Cammalleri deal, the jury is still out.

Yeah, that little midget is no Blair Jones. Amirite Sportak? 

Giving away yet another second-round draft choice along with Rene Bourque and prospect Patrick Holland doesn’t bode well, but goalie Karri Ramo is another potential NHL player for a team which will need a No.-1 netminder in a few years and Cammalleri is expected to contribute more than he has so far.

Listen, idiots, I am going to say this once, and if it ever comes up again, I'm simply going to refer to those of you who don't get it as members of the retard class. Patrick Holland is a seventh round draft pick. Ok? That means he cost nothing. He is putting up some numbers in the WHL (wait, he played in the WHL? Now I get why all the hockey nerds are slobbering over him.) which has given him value.

Idiots, when you acquire an asset for nothing, and then it accrues value, you fucking sell that asset. Ok? You can all follow that? The risk associated with holding onto Holland isn't worth what you'd get if you traded him. Got it? Good. Lesson over.

Seriously, the value some of you people put on unproven question marks is astounding. At pick #193, if Holland got in 50 NHL games it would be a win. Ramo is playing in the KHL, a professional league, for fucks sake.

Say this, Feaster has not stood pat over the past while, and won’t be slow to move in the future.

Right. Feaster has been doing his best ensuring the Heat are poised for a lengthy run at whatever the hell it is they play for in the AHL. Good point, Randy. 

Here's a recap of their January deals:

(Randy recaps the deals. I want to highlight this particular 'recap' though)

Jan. 12
To Calgary
LW Michael Cammalleri, G Karri Ramo, 5th-round pick in 2012

To Montreal
RW Rene Bourque, F Patrick Holland, 2nd-round pick in 2013

Cammalleri made a nice debut, scoring a goal off a tip, but that’s been his only offensive output since arriving in a whirlwind. Cammalleri is a minus-4 with the Flames, which is the direct result of not scoring goals. The left-winger had a career year with 39 goals for the Flames in 2008-09, but so far he hasn’t lived up to the big package given up for him. Bourque has two goals in his past two games with the Habs.

People did you read that? I can only come to the conclusion that Randy Sportak does not understand the concept of 'sample size.'

Well, hey, he has only been the beat writer of a sports team for like, what, 15 years? You can see how such a concept could elude him.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.

Monday, January 30, 2012


The All-Star game was boring. Fresh take!

The game itself, it is what it is. It is going to suck. Because there is no hitting, etc. No real need to explain that one.

But the skillz competition shouldn't be harder to watch than a typical Flames game. I shouldn't be falling asleep during it. I don't fall asleep during the NBA skillz competition. So what it do?

DB fixes the skillz comp because he isn't afraid of urban culture:

1) Ice Girls.

This one is so obvious the fact that it wasn't done is all the indication I need to know that the people running this shindig are in over their heads. There should have been an All-Star team of Ice Girls, and they should have been on the ice constantly. And by that, I mean so that whatever angle the idiot director uses, there should be an Ice Girl in it.

Moreover, there should have been  at least one hot girl on the ice interviewing the players between activities

 Why? So if I happen to be flipping through my channels, and I flip to one that has hotties on the TV, I am more likely to give pause and watch.

2) Real Events

If the people involved in the skillz competition don't take it seriously, how can the viewer at home be expected to? What do I mean by that? Well, why the hell are goalies in the fastest skater? Why are the goalies clowning it up during the shoot out? Why the hell did they have that ridicoulous shoot out to begin with?

It's stupid, and that's why it isn't taken seriously.

Fastest skater shouldn't have ten people competing in it, it should have six (two forwards and one defenceman). And the winner of the event should get money, say $5000, to give to a charity of his choice.That way, there is juice on the line, there should therefore be some competition, and doesn't take forever and make people hate it.

The NHL Breakaway Challenge is the NHL going full retard. This should be the dunk competition of the whole event, but because they run it with such a poor format, I'd gather this is the point where you knodded off.

The thing is, this is the worst event, and it is also the easiest to fix. Because we have the template. You get your X number of guys, I think they went with five guy from each team. Whatever. Then you get five guys to act as the judges. And do it like the NBA does it, use legends as judges. Orr never made any money playing the game, and there are a ton of guys like that. Pay them to show up and judge the shoot out. And then from there, you run it like the dunk contest. First round, you cut the guys who got the lowest, second round, more cuts, and then third round final between two players. Put some money on the line, again, winner gets $5000 for charity, get the goalies to take it seriously, and we have some fun viewing.

The elimination shoot out should be eliminated period. Having two shootouts lends to the perception that one is a complete and total joke. And, NHL, marketing hint: Even if it is a joke, you don't want to make it too obvious.

3) What The Fuck Are We Writing About The All-Star Game For

Fuuuuuuuuuuck. Who cares?

Feaster was quoted in the papers as saying the Orgs plan was to win now. So there you have it folks, that was the 'plan' that got Feaster the GM job: Desperately try to make 8th for because.

Furthermore I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.