Friday, January 28, 2011

Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award


It's Friday, and that means just one thing: Revolution!

What? Huh? Oh yeah, yeah that's right. It is also that time of the week when we present the highly coveted and much sought after Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (the RTPIC)!

It's been a crazy, 19th century-esque week, has it not? Maybe we should make Metternich and Talleyrand the nominees?

But alas, we won't. No, our first nominee of the week is none other than good ol' Eddie Stelmach. Ding dong the hick is dead! Politically, at least. The Natpo had a good article on the situation. It seems our good friend Ed isn't just getting thrown out of the PC's in a shallow attempt to confuse the populace into believing they are, you know, conservative again, but he is also walking away from the top spot in the province with more than the knife in his back. He is also taking home a cool million dollars. That's right, Ed spent four years as premier, spending away the surplus and putting the province into deficit, AND we, the taxpayer, get to pay him a million dollars for the privilege. One-party rule is awesome!

Seriously, if this doesn't make the PC party look like an old decrepit leech on the Alberta taxpayer, we don't know what will. We are happy Ed's gone so we can end the amateur hour stuff, but we have to pay him a million dollars? Here's hoping Alberta wakes up and smells the Wildroses (political advocacy on Dome Beers? My word!).

Speaking of corrupt politicians...this Egypt thang is a mess. And our second nominee. Egypt is a mess anyways, the leaders of the nation are somewhat normal, and a huge swath of the people there are...not so normal. The current dictator of the joint is a cat named Mubarak. Mubarak was the general of the Egyptian Air Force under Sadat. Sadat, if you will recall, was shot because he talked to a Jew. For reals. Sadat was a man who launched the Yom Kippur War, lost it spectacularly, and yet ended up coming out of it with the Sinai. He was a pragmatic, secular, intelligent man. Mubarak was his general. After Sadat was shot by Islamists for talking to Jews, Mubarak took over. Thank God he did, because the alternative was the Egyptian flavour of the Taliban.

Now some people don't like Mubarak because he is a kleptocratic thug. We think that's pretty short sighted. Believe us, the crazy Muslim who replaces him isn't going to be any less thuggish or kleptocratic, but will be much more, well, crazy and religiously fundamental. In cases like this, you stick with the known knowns.

Point blank: The newspapers here keep talking about a youth rebellion. Hate to break it to you people, everyone in Egypt is a youth, the median age is 25. The country has been increasingly radicalized by Islam for the last 30 years. These 'youths' have grown up with the Muslim Brotherhood, a terrorist organization. You can talk about facebook and twitter all you want, but if this was a facebook or twitter revolution it would be over by now, because Mubarak saw what happened in Iran (the American non-response to the Iranians shooting their own people in the streets) and would have gone ahead and shot the 'youth' protesters. He didn't. He didn't because they have the backing of the Muslim Brotherhood, which itself has wormed its way into positions of influence in the Egyptian Armed Forces. The intellectuals who have been brought in to give the revolution a false facade will be discarded as soon as their usefulness is over. Hope El-Baradei and his crew realize this.

Our third nominee of the week is Craig Conroy. What, you though we were going to award him the RTPIC? For what, for retiring a year late? Craig Conroy trying to hold on to his time in the league meant that we had to be stuck with Loubardias for one more year. We are glad he got his 1000 games, but is Conroy going to pay for the cities reconstructive ear surgery? And even now, as we speak, he is still thinking about whether he is going to retire and take his rightful place in the Flames broadcast booth (who are we kidding, Craig's good, he is going to go national, TSN, baby) or go down to play in Abby. Stop fucking thinking about this, Craig. You need to retire because we need some audio relief. With every passing day Loubardias sounds more whiny, bloviates more, and he keeps telling us that Adam Pardy is from Bonavista, Newfoundland. It's getting worse, Craig, not better, and it is incumbent on you to come in and save us, the fans. You always talk about how you love the fans, Craig. Well, now it is your chance to prove it. Liberate us from Loubardias, Craig. DO IT!

And yes, this cat better play in the Alumni game.

This weeks winner of the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award: Bishnu Shrestha



Who? Oh, just one of the most bad ass motherfuckers on the planet. Fuck, the universe, for all we know.

Why? Because, well, number one, the cat is a Gurkha. What's a Gurkha? Fuck, does anybody read history anymore? Seriously, Domebeer-aholics, you live in the Commonwealth for Whalens sake. A Gurkha is someone who will kill your ass. They are Nepalese, which means they live in a hard fucking place, and because they do, they tend to grow up to be hard motherfuckers. These cats are from the same stock as the people who take Whitey's gear up to the top of Everest. These cats stopped the initial Muslim invasion of the Indian Kingdom by themselves. Nobody was doing that shit back in the day. But most notably for the Gurkha's is that they went to war with the British when the British were in India. Now, we don't know how much you know about the British, but they weren't always respectful of the locals in the countries they colonized. You know what happened when they met the Gurkha's? The Gurkha's went to war, and fought the British to a stalemate. Nobody was doing that shit back in the day. You know what the British did after this? They made the Gurkha's British citizens, basically. The Gurkha's were incorporated into the British Army. Brown indigenous peoples weren't really embraced by the British as humans, let alone allowed to join the army. They could even become officers! That's how bad ass the Gurkha's are.

So what did our Gurkha, the honourable Bishnu Shrestha, do to deserve the RTPIC? He single handily stopped 40 armed robbers from robbing the train he was on. Yeah, he stopped 40, FOUR ZERO, armed men all by his lonesome. It's like Kipper vs the Red Wings, right? But in this story, the good guy wins!

And what makes the story so great is that Shrestha wasn't even going to kill the robbers until the robbers decided that robbing the train wasn't enough, and they were in fact going to rape some girl in front of her parents. Uh oh! Not when a Gurkha is on the train you don't. Shrestha, upon seeing this bad mojo going down, decides to stand up, and introduce himself to the rapists. By using his kukri (it's the curved knife the Gurkha's rock, which allows them to disembowel you in like half a second) and his own general bad-assness to kill the first three robbers who stepped to him. Fucking going Die Hard, that Shrestha.

You might think that the odds still favoured the robbers at 37-1, but only if you didn't know what a Gurkha was. The robbers obviously didn't, because it would take eight of them getting badly, badly wounded, like no more hands and a half a face badly wounded, for them to clue in to the fact that maybe they should turn around and run away screaming into the night.

Did we mention that this took place in the middle of the jungle? Do you know what goes down in a jungle at night? You get eaten alive by some monster tiger, that's what. So these robbers chose to face a killer jungle at night rather than go 29 on one with Shrestha. Gurkha's. Fucking bad ass, man.

And the kicker is that Shrestha doesn't think he is a superhero, because he was only doing what he was expected to do. How beautiful is that?

Well, Shrestha, you are a hero, even though you only did what Gurkha's do. Us mortals appreciate it.

For saving a train full of people all their loot, and for stopping a girl from getting raped by some slug in front of her parents, Bishnu Shrestha wins this weeks Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award. Honestly, we were going to give it to Craig, but Craig never stopped a train robbery by himself.

But Craig will be missed. Fan favourite.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Thursday Quickie

While the Flames have pushed themselves up the standings by winning four games in a row (never thought we would write that this season), the questions about the legitimacy of the team still remain.

The team has 54 points at the All Star break, having played 51 games. The benchmark for making the playoffs in the West is roughly 95 points. That leaves the Flames with 31 games to amass 41 points.

31 games means the Flames have the potential to collect 62 points. The Flames will need to get two points in at least 21 of those 31 games to make at least 41 points. That means winning 68% of the games remaining.

On the surface, looks like it isn't realistic.

Can we do it? How can we project?

Very simply. Of the 31 games remaining, let's say the Flames win every game they play against a team that isn't a division leader. Currently the division leaders are Vancouver, Detroit, and Dallas (and Philly, Tampa and Boston in the East). Of those 31 games remaining, we play a division leader six times. The team could afford 10 losses, so it would make the playoffs. This scenario, however, isn't very realistic.

So instead of winning against every team save division leaders, say we beat every team outside of our division, but we don't win a game against the Canucks, we beat the Oilers, but we split against the Avalanche. We take our 6 losses to division leaders, and since we play the Avalanche three more times this year, let's split that and say Calgary only loses one of those games. So we are at seven losses.

Let's go further. We think goal differential is a telling stat, and the only team out of the playoffs with a positive goal differential are the Kings, who sit one point out of the playoffs but have a goal differential of +19.  We play the Kings two more times this season, so let's split those games. That's one more loss, to push us to eight. We still have a cushion for two losses.

And we probably will need that cushion, because we would still have to play Chicago twice, and we still have to play the Sharks twice, we still need to play the Ducks three more times, and we have to play the dreaded Coyotes twice.

That's nine games that could go either way. And that's us assuming we beat the Blues, Oilers, Thrashers, Senators, Canadiens, Blue Jackets, and the Predators every time we play them from here on out. If we split the nine games we think could go either way, we are out of the playoffs. If we lose more than two of them we are out of the playoffs.

Here is a visual representation of the above scenario, with the team only losing eight games. Why we included this is it will immediately show you that the team would need to go on multiple 5+ game winning streaks to make the playoffs, and the Flames have not yet shown the ability to do that.



Doesn't seem too plausible from this group. But since they have played themselves out of a lottery pick, you might as well start cheering for them to make the playoffs and catch lighting in a bottle. But by no means should Feaster trade away a draft pick to try and improve this club for the run, if that is what you were thinking. The risk of not making the playoffs is too great at this point to be taking gambles.

In other words, yeah, go ahead and feel good. The team is on a win streak. Just don't start planning the parade just yet.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

While We Are Waiving Players Who Can't Play

You know where we are going with this, right?

Craig Conroy can't play hockey at an NHL level anymore. It's as simple as that really. You know who else can't play hockey at an NHL level anymore? Steve Staios. You know who else can't play? Raitis Ivanans (who?). More? Sure. How about Langkow? Alice Kotalik, anybody? 

(We aren't even bringing up the cats who are stealing money, like Sarich, Stajan, and Bourque.)

So to us, it is a little absurd. Feaster is waiving Craig Conroy? Why? Conroy makes the league minimum and he was on a two way contract. If he can't play, send him down to the Heat, and he will either go down to play or he will retire. Situation solved. There was no need to waive the player. Yeah, we know, you save like $200,000 by doing it. That cap space is sure going to come in handy for the Cup run...

It's fucking ridiculous, is what it is. You want to create cap space? Waive Staios! You want to create cap space? The owners should man up and pay Kotalik to play in Europe. You want to create cap space? Force Langkow to drink the reality potion, and retire. You want to create cap space? Have some six year old beat up Ivanans until he quits the team.

Because the notion of waiving Conroy for cap space is stupid, we look for other reasons to waive him. Is Conroy being waived because he is blocking a roster spot for one of our young stud prospects? Fuck no, we don't got any prospects, people! The Heat have no real offensive talent on the roster. They are last in goals for in the entire AHL. Conroy isn't blocking shit.

You wanna know who is blocking somebody? Morrison blocks somebody (Hint: he is Swedish) on the roster. Fuck, anybody on the roster over 30 not named Iggy, Kipper, or Reggie are the people who need to be cleared out if your concern is veterans blocking prospects roster spots.

So if cap space isn't really an issue, and Conroy blocking the spot of a prospect isn't really an issue, what is the deal?

Could it be that Jarome Iginla is still the de-facto GM of this team?

Here is an article that we missed about Conroy and Iginla breaking up. This happened on the 21st of January, and what, four days later Conroy is on waivers. Hmmm....

Can we be real here? Conroy couldn't play when he signed the contract. Why was he signed? For media relations purposes only. He didn't accept a 2-way contract because he had other teams beating down his door trying to sign him. He didn't sign a 2-way contract because he could still play. Conroy signed on to play here because we offered him a contract and a chance to play in 1,000 games. We can see why Conroy signed the contract. But what we can't see is why was Conroy even offered one?

The Calgary Flames are showing time and time again that winning is secondary to them. Craig Conroy wasn't offered a contract because the organization thought he would improve the team. He was signed because Ken King thought he would be able to sell some tickets if he had Conroy on the roster. Now that Conroy has done his duty, King and the organization are discarding him like so much crumpled trash.

And yeah, we find it a little...distasteful. Craig should know he can't play. But so should Langkow. You will notice that Langkow hasn't retired, even though he isn't even allowed to work out for a year. These guys hold on. In a perfect world, where Truth and Justice and Lollipops reign, Craig would have played that game in November, seen he was terrible, and retired. But because Craig is a human and Truth, Justice, and Lollipops do not reign, he decided to stay up in his seat in the press box. That's his right, he has a contract. Why is the organization forcing him to retire? Because he yelled at Iginla for not practicing hard?

In short, why is the organization not forcing Langkow to retire? Why isn't it forcing Staios to retire? Why isn't it forcing Ivanans to retire? Forcing Conroy to retire isn't a bad move. It makes the team better. We would rather ice a 20 year old who can't play over a 40 year old who can't play. But what is irritating to us is that the organization has much bigger fish to fry than Conroy, and they don't seem to have any inclination to do so. The Flames upper management would rather do the easy thing than the right thing, and that is concerning.

It's a broken record, we know. But the right things include: waiving Staios, forcing Langkow to retire, paying Kotalik to play in Siberia. The organization hasn't done these things because doing these things would be uncomfortable and expensive. In other words, they haven't done these things because it would be hard.

And true to form, the Calgary Flames seem to be allergic to anything 'hard'. Like 'hard work'.
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Now the other take to this whole situation is that Rogers is putting pressure on the Flames to force Conroy to retire because they just lost Mike Richards and need some new talent. Who knows, right?

Probably not, because we doubt they would use Conroy for the morning show. What they could use Conroy for is to sit in the broadcast booth with whoever replaces Loubardias. Person X doing play by play and Conroy on the colour. Or they could use Conroy to do the play by play and leave Simmer and his glorious hair to do the colour.

Either way, we hope the change happens soon. It's getting to the point where we would rather eat broken glass than listen to the Rogers broadcast of a Flames game.
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Doug Kirkwood, the city turns it's lonely eyes to you! We have been pimping pretty hard on twitter (follow us!) for Doug Kirkwood to get his old job back on the morning show. Now, we don't know Kirkwood, have never met Kirkwood, and are not being paid by Kirkwood to do this. We just like Doug, and think he would be funny and listenable on the morning show. But we are just one voice. Hit the horn, Domebeer-aholics. Send Kirch@rci.rogers.com a friendly little message about rehiring Doug Kirkwood. And demand Scott Roberts, too!
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Dome Beers is going to place a bet on the Super Bowl. You see, A Z R is a Steelers honk, while the FAN960's Andrew Walker (Domebeer-aholic) is, for some unfortunate reason, a fan of Favre's old team. Yeah, we know, Lombardi has been dead for like 41 years. We don't know why Walker cheers for them, but we do know that he is about to have his heart broken, because there is no way in hell that Green Bay beats the Steelers.

Anyways, we are telling you this because we need stipulations. Should the Steelers win, Walker will do X, should the Packers win, Dome Beers will do X.

We are thinking about asking for an interview when the Steelers win. Should we go with something different? Let us know.
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Oh God, we were about to publish this when Feaster came on the radio and said he wants to play guys from the Heat, not because they can play, but because...because. Oh boy.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

In Celebration Of Stelmach Quitting

Sutter V Stelmach
originally aired May 25th, 2010.
(Yeah, they are both gone, we know. Who do you think made it happen? Loubardias better watch his back.)
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Darryl Sutter and Ed Stelmach. You will not find any more controversial farmers in Alberta then these two cats. And that got us at Domebeers thinking: Just which dumb ass has been worse in their position?

Now, we know what you, dear Reader, are thinking. Just how could anyone fuck up more than one Ed Stelmach? And we know that it has nothing to do with politics. Communist greenie or robber baron capitalist, nobody in this province likes the muddling and ineffective pretender to King Ralphs throne.

But still...could Darryl Sutter be doing a worst job at running the Flames than Stelmach is at running the province? Just for shits and giggles, how about we take a look.

As with all things, we will start at the beginning. Darryl Sutter and Ed Stelmach were both Albertan farmers. They are good at farming in Alberta. Hell, they should have probably stuck with farming in Alberta. Alas, they did not.

Darryl Sutter came into power via coup. He was hired by Craig Button (who has a firm handshake, by the way) to coach the team. At the end of the season, the man Mr. Button had hired to coach the team would end up taking his job, through a backroom deal with Ken King. Stolen leadership.

Ed Stelmach came to power via coup, also. Ralph Klein had retired without telling anybody, and the PC party of Alberta got a little ticked off. They decided to go all Brutus (read some history) on his ass. To fill the leadership gap, a leadership vote was held. Dinning, Morton, and Stelmach were all up for the position of Ralphs replacement, and thanks to the wonders of proportional representational balloting, the guy nobody voted for, Ed Stelmach, ends up winning. Stolen leadership.

Now, to be fair, Darryl Sutter's position as Flames GM requires no election to ratify. But Premier of the province most certainly does, but Ed Stelmach won't have that election, because he knows he would lose to Danielle Smith. Moving on...

So Darryl and Stelmach, in our re-telling, are now in charge. Cool. What have these two cats been up too?

Well, Ed Stelmach began his tour of duty with the belief that the price of oil couldn't possibly ever drop below $100 a barrel, and so he changed the royalties that the province charged the oil companies, IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONTRACT. Boys and girls, that is what 3rd world dictators do.

Darryl Sutter traded or signed the following: Kotalik, Sauve, Friesen, Amonte, Marchment. Trading or signing these pieces of shit is a move that only a 3rd world dictator should be able to get away with.

Ed Stelmach would go on to promise infrastructure spending to each of the cities in the province, Calgary and Edmonton. In a move of absolute retardation, Ed Stelmach would then go on and break the promise he made to the City of Calgary over funding. He cut back the amount of funding he promised because nobody in Calgary voted for him at the leadership convention, ensuring nobody in Calgary would ever vote for him. Ed Stelmach bumbled the infrastructure spending.

Darryl Sutter has been unable to sign a coach that the players on the roster respect and listen to. Instead, he has signed junior coaches in Brent Sutter and Jim Playfair, or a pedophile looking motherfucker in Mike Keenan (who the owners paid to sit and do nothing this year, by the way). Bumble, bumble, bumble.
One of Ralph Kleins claims to fame was that he tamed the deficit beast, and made Alberta debt free. One of Ed Stelmachs claims to fame is that he has borrowed money needlessly (maybe because he chased those oil companies away when he changed the royalties) and now Alberta is in debt. An Alberta in debt is an Alberta that has the specter of income tax hikes, which threatens the Alberta Advantage. In short, Alberta has lost its identity under Ed Stelmach.

Darryl Sutter's claim to fame is that he installs a hard nose, no nonsense work ethic in his teams. We all remember 03-04. But curiously, post lockout, Darryl has continually filled this teams roster with soft, skilled players who don't have a work ethic at all and are definitely not hard nose. Matt fucking Stajan on a Darryl Sutter team? What the fuck is going on here, people? Under Sutter, the Flames have lost their identity (which Darryl installed in the first place, ARGH FUCK).

Ed Stelmach knows he is in a precarious political situation, and because of that fact, he has made moves to solidify his stance in the eyes of the special interests in this province. Massive payments have been made to the healthcare unions, the teachers unions, the, uhh, union union. And when we say massive, we mean massive: Billions of dollars to ensure that these special interest groups receive raises several percentage points over the rate of inflation, in an economic environment that dictated cost cutting. Ed Stelmach got into bed with the unions.

Darryl Sutter, due to his inability to construct a balanced roster, found himself in a precarious employment situation this year. Because of this, he went on to trade for every member of the Toronto Maple Leafs not named Phil Kessel. Yes, it is true: Darryl Sutter got into bed with Brian Burke. Ewww.

Still reading? Good, but we will end with this: Ed Stelmach chased the oil investors out of this province by changing the royalties in the middle of a contract. As a result, he was forced to look for new investors, which he found, in China. You guys know who runs China, right? An illegal, communist, criminal regime that cares little for the rights or well being of the Chinese people. In fact, the red communists regard most of the Chinese citizenry as slaves.. And Stelmach actually does business with these people.

Darryl Sutter? He swung a trade with the Edmonton Oilers. Makes us want to puke.

So, after all of that, who has been worse, Ed Stelmach or Darryl Sutter?

And why the fuck can't both these cheese dicks go back to farming?

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Titles Is Hard, Yo

Domebeer-aholics, we have a special treat for you today. As you are all no-doubt aware, Mike Richards has left Rogers and has taken his talents to TSN. While Mike had been operating without a contract for some time, his departure still caught the majority of this city off guard. People were angry, bitter, and confused. Many wondered why would Mike leave without saying goodbye.

And while many defaulted to the opinion that Mike was really as greedy and selfish as he portrayed himself on the radio, we thought that was slightly unfair. So we contacted Mike Richards to see if he would come into Dome Beers and give the people he abandoned to the boring dullness of Rick Lafitte some answers.

Without further ado, here is the transcript of that interview:

Dome Beers: The sudden and swift departure of Mike Richards sent a ripple of anger throughout this city. Mike has left the FAN and has agreed to become the face of the soon to be launched TSN radio. Mike was gracious enough to come in and speak with us, so as to explain his side of the story to his fans. So, Mike, before we begin, how the hell are you?

Mike Richards: (Mike Richards is not in the studio)

Dome Beers: Uhh, ok, so, we, uhh, we had Mike booked to come in and do the prep work an hour ago. I'm sure he is just stuck in traffic, or something.

Mike Richards: (Mike Richards is not in the studio. There is no traffic on the road outside of the studio. There is no traffic on Deerfoot, either. Why would there be, it is like 4:30 AM.)

Dome Beers: Oh boy. Mike is still not here? (Turns to Producer: I have an audience out there waiting for Richards, where the hell is he? I didn't prepare any remarks, I thought Mike would be doing that. I had only planned on doing the sports updates, and this interview today. No, I don't want to ask the audience the questions I had for Mike.) So, uhh, looks like Mike will be a little late to the show today...anybody have any Steve Armitage stories they want to tell?

Mike Richards: (Mike Richards is still not in the studio. Nobody has any Steve Armitage stories that don't involve hookers and beer. This interview is going terribly.)

Dome Beers: (Two hours into the interview and Mike is still not in the studio. The audience is shouting that they have been 'gayed'.) So, Mike still hasn't shown up, even though he told us he would. We just talked to him yesterday, and he gave no indication that he would be late, or that anything was up. What could be going on? Should we call the cops? Mike might be hurt. Oh look, we have a voice mail message. Let's check it.

Mike Richards Voice Mail Message: Hi, this is the Mike Richards. Listen, I know I had said that I would come into the studio and do an interview with you guys over at Dome Beers, but late last night I signed a new agreement to do an interview with Bruce Dowbiggin instead. I won't be coming in to do your interview because it just wouldn't be right. Why am I telling you this two hours into your interview instead of late last night when I signed my new agreement with Dowbiggin? Because I am an asshole. Thanks, and have a good day. Or don't, I don't really care, loser.
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The Flames. An entertaining bunch sometimes, no?

We may be a little premature here, but the Flames may have just played themselves out of a lottery pick with their two wins last night. As it stands currently, the team has a whopping 50 points (in only 49 games played!) and sits five points out of 8th place. Five points isn't that crazy a deficit to make up, but when you take into account that Flames also have to leap-frog six teams as well...it gets to looking a little bit crazy. We declared the season over some months ago, and we still don't see the team making the playoffs. It's all well and good that they beat Dallas and Vancouver, but they also lost 6 - 0 (AT HOME! IN FRONT OF PAYING CUSTOMERS!) to the Wild. We will start believing in this team when they stop getting shut out and boat raced at home.

But what about the other side of the equation? The Flames currently sit, again, with 50 points. Now the NHL has a lottery system, so New Jersey isn't guaranteed the top pick. New Jersey is guaranteed the best chance to get the number one pick. So technically, the Flames are still in position to get a top pick, every team in the bottom 17 are. But to get a realistic chance to pick in the top five, your team pretty much has to finish in the bottom five. The Flames are currently seven points above the threshold to get a top five pick (Toronto, with 43 points).

We could be wrong, but it looks over to us. This team is going to end the year with 80 - 90 points. Too many to draft a good player, too little to make the playoffs. A wasted season.
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You know what would be fucking awful? If you were calling a hockey game for the CBC, and Alex Tanguay scored a goal on the pasta addicted goalie (that's racists!), and he scored the goal by putting the puck into the pads of said goalie and said goalie was so fat that he couldn't stop himself from falling back into the net completely, but the ref called it a no-goal, and there had to be a video review, and while the refs and Toronto were on the phone discussing the call, you and your partner kept telling the audience at home that it would be a no-goal because you couldn't see the puck (which was in the goalies pads, which had crossed the goal line) cross the goal line?

That would be fucking embarrassing, right? If you had spent 10 minutes letting the world know you were very, very stupid and didn't know how physics worked?

Sure glad that didn't happen, eh Kevin Weekes and Mark Lee?
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So is Feaster going to do something or did Darryl get fired because Ken King needed some good PR? Because it would be a shame if they fired Darryl only to go through the rest of the season with his team.
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Domebeer-aholics, you may not care, but somehow, A Squared, the GM of the Blue Jays, traded away Vernon Wells, which is news because trading Vernon Wells was deemed to be a fucking impossibility. Very exciting times for Jays fans. A Squared comes into the organization and says he is going to rebuild. Then they have a season which seems to show them ahead of schedule on the rebuild. So you know what he does? He trades the face of the franchise, and don't kid yourself, he makes the team worst by doing so. He also traded Marcum, a reliable starting pitcher, for a question mark. That's how you rebuild.
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You know who would look good on Vancouver? Sarich and Glencross. Those two guys are the sandpaper that club needs to win a Cup.
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Tommy K and Tim Jackman, Esq, you guys are tits. Wanna see Tommy K knock out some Canuck? We do!



You are a bad man, Tommy K, and you walk with bad intentions.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.