Friday, January 14, 2011

Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award


It's Friday, and that means just one thing: I want my MTV.

What? Huh? Oh yeah, that's right. It is also that time of the week when we present the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (the RTPIC)!

The award actually hasn't been presented yet in the new year. How crazy is that? We are sure you are all eagerly awaiting the news on who the winner is. Even though you, dear Reader, are probably foaming at the mouth with all the anticipatory tension, we still must present the nominees before we present the winners.

And what great nominees we have this week. Let's begin with the first nomination, the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council. Why? Because this week they took the unusual step to ban a song, 'Money for Nothing', on Canadian radios because that songs lyrics were...inciting hate?

Let us walk you through the ridiculousness of this situation. We think the ban is ridiculous not because of who it is in favour of. We have no problem with homosexuals. People are people, and serious people can understand this. We have fucked up, not normal shit about us too. Everyone is a little skewed. No, the problem we have with the ban is, well, it's actually problems, so let's numerate them.

1) Banning a song that has been on the radio for 30 years. Not a shred of evidence is around to suggest that the homosexual slur used in the song has made anyone hate homosexuals more than they would normally hate them. If someone is a bigot, it's not because they heard a lyric in a Dire Straits song. The notion that banning this song would make people more tolerant is therefore ridiculous.

2) We have a little bit of a beef with the people who lobbied for this decision. We would have preferred that if a homosexual was offended because a radio station was playing the song, that they lobbied that radio station to get it removed, or for them to play the radio edit version that doesn't include the slur. The radio stations would have complied, because they are in the business of serving their customers. To go to an unelected body of the government to get them to ban songs because of words is policing thought.

3) Why the need to police thought? The implication of this ruling, and we may be overly sensitive, is that the enlightened in Ottawa think that the peasants in the Canadian hinterland are a bunch of homosexual killing hate mongers. We object to this vehemently. No serious person, in a serious setting, can use the homosexual slur that is used in the song to describe anybody. If you do, you risk your reputation, business, ect. The implication that Canadians need to be told not to drop homosexual slurs on people is deeply insulting.

4) The guy who wrote the song wasn't even talking about homosexuals. The story about 'Money for Nothing' is that the songs writer was in an appliance store. The appliance store had a back wall full of TV's and they were all on MTV. The band that was on the TV was Motley Crew. Motley Crew, although you can call them a lot of things, homosexual is not one of them. Going further, the song is written in the perspective of a construction worker. The construction worker is commenting on a group of pierced men with mascara on their face and fingernail polish on their hands, in the 80's. The word fits in the context it was written in, and is actually not even directed toward homosexuals proper.

5) Finally, Canadian broadcasters are allowed to play unedited rap songs. Do we really need to spell this argument out? It's patently ridiculous you would ban a word that slurs a minority but not another word that slurs a minority.

It's thought police, pure and simple. Nothing against homosexuals, but everything against thought police, and the government treating us like we are all waiting for an excuse to start a lynch mob. Plus we loved that song, man!

Our second nominee for the week is Mike Labinjo. In case you had not heard, the Grey Cup hero was traded away to Montreal for basically nothing, just because he was trying to do his best Feaster impression. Look, we don't mind the trade. In Huff We Trust. We would just point out that while the guy can't play for the Stampeders, the most recent Grey Cup Champions have no problem with him on the roster.

The real reason Mike is nominated is because of the treatment he received in the media upon his departure. Mike Labinjo won this city a Grey Cup almost singlehandedly. His performance was that dominate. We didn't win because of Hank. Anyone who follows the team probably thinks we win despite of Hank, to be honest. And that's the thing. Mike Labinjo manned up big time when the moment called for it, and won a championship. He also did the Big Brother Little Brother thang. He was a good member of this community. He was never caught in a photo wearing a bra standing next to a woman who was not his wife. And when he is traded away, for whatever reason, all this is forgotten and the knives come out. What the fuck, media?

Do you know why guys are nice to the media? Because it buys them leeway. Mike Labinjo won a championship. That buys him leeway. Look, we all know he got fat and lazy after he won. You don't have to say it when he is on his way out. What really pissed us off was Al Cameron going on the radio and saying that Labinjo only lost his weight because of a clause in the contract. Al was implying Labinjo was greedy. That's fucking horseshit. First off, it's professional sports, everyone is greedy. Second, Mike Labinjo is the only player in the CFL with a weight clause in his contract? He is the only D-lineman in football with this stipulation? Football players would all get fat if they could, especially guys who way 250 - 300 pounds. They all have these clauses, and guess what, they must all be greedy too because they adhere to them.

You wanna know who we would have laid the blame on? Coach Huff. Coach Huff knew the guy had motivational problems, yet Coach Huff gave the guy a long term contract coming off that Grey Cup win. If he had traded Labinjo when Labinjo was still a player, this franchise would have been able to recoup some value. Now, we trade away a guy who can dominate the league for nothing, while providing him incentive to get his game back on track. At least we traded him out East, otherwise the sacks he is going to get against Burris would look real embarrassing.

And while we are on the subject of trading players who don't perform up to their level of expectation, how about we deal with the QB?

Our third nominee this week is the reaction to the shooting of Gabby Giffords. It was bizarre. The People With Voices tried to paint a picture of a man who was so easily influenced by Sarah Palin, who is simultaneously the stupidest person in the world yet also the most brilliant evil genius, that he went out and shot a politician because several months ago Ms. Palin ran an ad that said she was 'targeting' Democratic politicians she thought were beatable. It's just a dumb theory on so many levels it's a bit of a joke that Serious People would lend their professional reputations to it (read: Paul Krugman has officially jumped the shark).

Evidence has since surfaced that the snivelling little shit who shot the congresswoman had a vendetta against her going back to at least 2007. He has been described by his former girlfriend as a 'left-wing pot head'. Do you think 'left-wing pot heads' are in the business of taking marching orders from Palin? This is a guy who read Marx, and because he is stupid, probably bought the talk of justified violence. If anything, we could point to the long history of political violence that is really the domain of the left, but we won't. Because it doesn't matter. Loughner was a kid who thought he had all the answers, could see the hidden truth. He was operating out of his own motives, which were fuelled by his own craziness. The suggestion that 'conservative political rhetoric' drove Loughner to commit crimes is made to silence 'conservative political rhetoric' because liberals are getting their ideas rejected en mass in American politics right now.

A little thought experiment: If rhetoric, conservative or otherwise, was the cause of the shooting, then you would expect that there would have been more than one incident. You would expect this because America has a population of 300 million people, and has a media saturation of a very large extent. Everyone has heard the rhetoric. Either the rhetoric was the cause of the violence or it wasn't. If rhetoric was the cause, we would have seen more cases of violence against politicians due to the size of the population we are looking at. Because we see only one case of political violence, we can probably safely conclude that rhetoric was not the cause.

Our winner of this weeks Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award: Killer Fox!



Yes, the Killer Fox. This one's for you, PETA.

Obviously, a story like the one we are about to tell only could have happened in the Russia. In America, you hunts fox, in Russia, fox hunts you.

Imagine you are in the Soviet wilderness. Equally sized tree's, godless squirrels, 5 year acorn plans, the whole bit. It's a little chilly in the air, you can see the vodka crystallize as you exhale, times are good. As you work your way through the shoddy, state planned forest, you come across a red fox (pun intended).

You put the Vodka down, by of course sending it down your throat into your stomach (where else would a good Russian boy keep his liquor?) and at the same time you pick up your trusty hunting rifle, an AK-47. Readying your sights on your quarry, the communist fox, you exhale your breath (never inhale before you pull the trigger, that's a little hunting knowledge we will pass on), steady your hands, and squeeze the trigger.

Blam. At first you don't see if you hit the fox or not, but that's because you are drunk. You move in on your prey, and you see that you have wounded the animal and it is ripe for the kill. Because you are a lousy hunter, you didn't kill the animal outright with your first shot, but that's ok, you like killing wounded animals. It's easy, they never fight back!

And this is where our little Russian protagonist runs into trouble. After shooting the fox, the hunter, we will call him Sascha (just because we like the fact that a people who trace their roots to the Rus barbarians, tough, tough people, call their men girl names), goes up to get the the pelt of the wounded fox. Sascha had to be drinking, because instead of putting a bullet in the thing, he runs up and tries to kill it by hitting it in the head with the butt-end of his rifle. Sascha, we love you, but that was stupid. It was stupid because Sascha had been drinking all day, and his accuracy was a little impaired. Somehow, when attempting to knock the fox's block off, he looses control of the rifle. It falls out of his hands. Guess who picks it up?

Comrades, the soviet fox picks it up. For reals. The fox somehow gains control of the gun. Then what happens? The fox shoots the hunter. The fox shoots the hunter. Only in Russia.

Of course, the other explanation is Sascha got so drunk he shot himself in the leg and then tried to pin the blame on a fox because that was much less embarrassing. But we like the whole 'fox shoots man' angle a bit more.

For turning the tables on his would be assailant, the Killer Fox wins this weeks Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award!

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Solidarity

If you are a Domebeer-aholic, you know we love Liberty and hate Tyranny.

The decision by a bureaucratic body to ban a song because of a word? That smacks of Tyranny. Fuck Tyranny. Fuck Censorship, and fuck the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council.

(On a personal note, one of the few rock songs I, A Z R, listen too happens to be 'Money For Nothing', so I'm a little pissed about the ban, not that I listen to the radio rock, but still, the principle of the thing)

Lyrics from here.

Now look at them yo-yo's that's the way you do it You play the guitar on the MTV That ain't workin' that's the way you do it Money for nothin' and your chicks for free Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb Maybe get a blister on your little finger Maybe get a blister on your thumb We gotta install microwave ovens Custom kitchen deliveries We gotta move these refrigerators We gotta move these color TV's (See the little faggot with the earring and the makeup Yeah buddy that's his own hair That little faggot got his own jet airplane That little faggot he's a millionaire) Gotta install microwave ovens Custom kitchen deliveries We gotta move these refrigerators Gotta move these color TV's I shoulda learned to play the guitar I shoulda learned to play them drums Look at that mama, she got it stickin' in the camera Man we could have some And he's up there, what's that? Hawaiian noises? Bangin' on the bongos like a chimpanzee That ain't workin' that's the way you do it Get your money for nothin' get your chicks for free We gotta install microwave ovens Custom kitchens deliveries We gotta move these refrigerators We gotta move these color TV's Look a' here That ain't workin' that's the way you do it You play the guitar on your MTV That ain't workin' that's the way you do it Money for nothin' and your chicks for free Money for nothin' and chicks for free Money for nothin' and your chicks for free Look at that, look at that Money for nothin' and your chicks for free I want my, I want my, I want my MTV Money for nothin' and chicks for free (Fade) I want my, I want my, I want my MTV


Dire Straits. Tyranny has us defending Dire Straits. Fuck Tyranny. It's a fucking joke. It's just a song. Hell, Sting has a writer credit on the thing, and Sting loves gays. It's just bad PR for the gay lobby. If you wanna know why the stereotype of the 'gay fascist' exists, it's because of incidents like this (yes, we could talk about the SA, but you shouldn't compare people to Nazi's, even if they like to use some of the same censorship techniques).
 
Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

What The Hell Are You Guys Doing?

Dear Calgary Flames,

Look guys, you know we have always been there for you. We have witnessed multiple and recurring first round playoff exits, we have stayed by your side even though you were only able to beat that Oiler team like once in the '80's. We have lived through the disappointment of being perennial playoff pushovers. And we kept coming back.

We have suffered the inglorious playoff drought of the 90's. We have sat through games at a half empty Saddledome cheering Valeri fucking Bure. We have been shushed at by fans reading books instead of watching the hockey, and we have been threatened with expulsion from event staff because we were cheering to loudly. Can you imagine? Yet we kept coming back.

We have sat through the post lockout years having to endure the shame of all the game seven losses on home ice. On home ice, Flames. You know that makes you look like bitches, right? And you reflect on the fanbase. We kept buying tickets even though the real players were traded away so roster spots could be made for the likes of the drop-passing-in-the-neutral-zone criminal Bertuzzi. The indignities we have suffered. Yet we keep coming back.

We were Flames fans before being a Flames fan was cool. We will be Flames fans when it isn't cool to be.

The last two years have been terribly disappointing, Calgary Flames. We can live with the not winning. You are a franchise that has been around for more than three decades and you have one Stanley Cup to show for it, and only a handful of winning seasons outside of the 80's. Honestly, you are kind of a joke franchise. But we cheer anyways. No, it's not the lack of winning that is so grating. It is the ostrich act.

You suck, Calgary. You are not very good, at all. And you haven't been any good, really, since you pissed away that 13 point division lead to the Canucks. Do you know how hard it is to piss away a 13 point lead with like a week left in the season? And to the team with the worst fans and ugliest jersey in the league? And yet even after that event you ostriched. You buried your head, got older and more expensive, didn't fire Darryl, which then allowed Darryl to trade for Kotalik and Hagman and Stajan instead of cap space. And even after that debacle, when we didn't make the playoffs, you went ostrich again.

Do you know how much of a piss off that is? Do you know how irritating it is when everyone in the car can see which direction the traffic is going but the driver?

This year, Calgary Flames, you tried to do the ostrich act again. Nothing was wrong, you are still a good team, competing for the cup, blah blah blah. A month into the season it was readily apparent that you were one of the worst teams in the West. Yet you stuck with it. You even made a trade to try to bring more players in. Ian White sucks, ok? But if Ian White in the lineup means Ales Kotalik isn't, then you fucking keep Ian White. It's not rocket surgery.

Anyways, despite your best efforts to ostrich and evade reality, the league forced it on you. You have been a 14th place club for three or four months now. Everywhere you go you are greeted with questions about trading Jarome et al, the 11 NMC/NTC on the roster, the lack of talent in Abbotsford. And even though all these questions are asked because the organization allowed itself to fall into such a rut, you shake with umbrage at them. How dare you suggest we, the Calgary Flames, suck, Michael Peca.

Well, we are sorry, Calgary, but you do. And because it is January and you are still 14th place (but only eight points out of a playoff race says the hope fuelled mouth breather) we think it is far time you stopped pretending. It's time that you stopped the ostrich act, and take your head out of the sand you buried it in. It is time to tank the season, which shouldn't be too hard, because you are doing a fine job of that as it is.

Which, in a roundabout way, brings us to our point. Last night, Calgary Flames, you were down by three goals to the Carolina Hurricanes, the most effeminate team in the league (well, besides you guys), entering the third period. You should have done the right thing and folded the tent. And instead, you tried to come back.

What the hell are you guys doing? Why the fuck did you try to come back?

If you had any pride, you would have beat the Islanders on home ice. If you had any pride, you would have not let the Canucks put up seven goals on you on home ice. If you think the fans are going 'gee golly, these guys are playing hard' then you are sadly mistaken, because that boat sailed away when you got shut out by Florida on home ice.

At this point, your 'trying' looks a lot like false hustle, Calgary Flames, and it's pissing us the fuck off.

Let's ignore the fact that the cap is so jacked up for next year that it is a real question as to whether or not the team could even afford to ice a lottery pick on the NHL roster next season. We need a lottery pick on the NHL roster next season. To do that, you need to be one of the five shittiest clubs in the league. And you guys stealing a point out from last nights game throws all sorts of monkey wrenches in that plan.

So why did you do it? Respect? We aignt got none for a 14th place hockey team. TSN doesn't, the puck bunnies around the league don't, nobody in the hockey world does. Pride in yourselves? What a joke. Florida at home. Professionalism? The Calgary Flames Country Club?

We think you like pissing the fans off, Calgary Flames. And that's a little...unusual.

Look guys, you have 41 points in 43 games, in a league that has three point games. It's a fucking joke that you keep peddling the line of 'win two out of three'. Let's get real here. It's time to drink the reality potion, Calgary Flames.

New Jersey has 24 points in 42 games. You suck, Calgary, but you aren't that bad. Honestly, that is Hitmen bad, so you can kiss the number one pick goodbye. The Oilers and the Islanders are both sitting at 33 points. That's three of the top five picks spoken for. Ottawa has 38 points, while Toronto and Florida have 40 points, followed by Buffalo with 41. That currently places you, Calgary Flames, in the seventh spot. If you had manned up and done the right thing and lost that game last night, we would be sitting with the sixth, that much closer to the top five.

Look at those numbers again. We are in danger of playing our way out of the basement, Calgary Flames. Comebacks like last night aren't cute, they are fucking annoying.

At least, though, someone on the team, Calgary Flames, realizes the situation we are in. That's right, one Mikka Kiprusoff has been working his ass off all season, and the last three games especially, to make sure that we lose night in and night out. A soft goal here, a soft goal there, and what do you know you are down 5-2 to the Hurricanes. Great work, if you ask us. Yet we have some country bumpkin coach who rips the teams MVP in a press conference following the game. Can someone inform Coach Idiot that the team needs to start losing games, and start losing now, if it doesn't want this season to turn into a $65 million dollar waste? Kipper should have been applauded, and Bourque should have had his ass chewed out for scoring the tying goal.

Looking at the stats, Calgary Flames, we see that Coach Idiot played JBlow, sadly the teams best defencemen, 30 minutes last night. Why? Staios should be playing those minutes, we are trying to lose. Gio, the heart and soul of the team, also played 30 minutes. Badsuck can play those minutes. Coach Idiot better have a better explanation for that coaching gaffe than 'we are trying to win games', because it's fucking past the point of 'trying to win games'. Sarich is running around trying to inspire his teammates with physical play, which is kind of a dilemma because you want to play him because he is slow and everyone in the NHL can go outside on him, but on the other hand do you want to play a guy who is trying to inspire his teammates?

This isn't Coach Idiots fault in isolation, Calgary Flames. Fat Feaster has been in charge for a little while now, and besides testing the Saddledomes floor, he hasn't really done anything. Coach Idiot has to play the players on his bench, Fat Feaster, which means you need to get the fuck out of the buffet line and get your ass on the phone. Why is Alex Tanguay still on this team? Why is Badsuck still here? Why is Pardy around? Why haven't you tried to trade Sarich, or Jokinen, or Morrison, or Hagman? Why isn't Kotalik in the KHL (actually he helps us lose you might want to keep that one)? Why haven't you mailed Stajan to Africa yet? We need to get worse, Feaster, because for some reason the team has decided it is actually going to try to play now. Think of it this way: money not spent on support level NHL players is more money for the Oreo budget.

You are a frustrating bunch, Calgary Flames. But you have us hooked. Being the one show in town might have something to do with it, but so what? Tank the season, go ahead, it's alright. Nobody will think any less of you. How could we? You already lost on home ice to the Islanders, you already let the Rangers take liberties with you. We will be back next year, ready to cheer whichever North American player you overlooked a soft but skilled European to draft (please be Ryan Nugent-Hopkins).

It's time for another nine game losing streak, Calgary Flames. Please?

Yours truly,

Domebeers.com

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Monday, January 10, 2011

What You Missed At The Skills Comp

Over the weekend the Calgary Flames held what has become an annual tradition around these here parts, their Skills Competition.

It is billed as a day where the family can come out and enjoy their favourite hockey players. It is a lighthearted event, full of fun and merry, designed to inject a little enjoyment, both for the fans and the players, into the middle of a long and grueling hockey season.

While some of the events from the Super Skills competition produced jaw dropping moments, like Ales Kotaliks 105 MPH slap shot, which have made the news and become water cooler talk around the city, other, less glamorous events from the competition remain curiously unpromoted.

It's a good thing then, Dear Reader, that the mythical DB crew was down at the 'Dome, able to take in the event in it's entirety. We saw all the events, glamorous or not, and are happy to share the details with the Domebeer-aholics.

Now it is true that before the event Ken King demanded all the camera's and recording devices from the audience, and also demanded that anybody who attended the event take some sort of blood oath of secrecy, but this being Dome Beers and not Calgarypuck, we chose to ignore the warning. Because Ken King thinking he can intimidate STH's into silence is completely ridiculous, and anybody who aides him in that quest is a good little german.

Anyways, a review of the less heralded events:

EATING COMPETITION
This event, new for this years competition, was a real crowd pleaser. Actually, it isn't new per se, it's just that this year Ken King finally had some competition. Yes, with the arrival and promotion of Jay Feaster, Mr. King was forced to defend his title as the Flames 'biggest' eater.

It was an intense competition, neither competitors wanting to give an inch. Their belts? Well that's a whole other story.

The event centred around who could eat the most hotdogs. King started out strong, before falling behind the torrid pace set by Feaster. Feeling that he would not be able to catch up to Feaster, King then made a desperate gamble at a play: He asked Feaster to what the defintion of 'hotdog' was. While Feaster stopped eating to go into full lawyer mode, explaining the several accepted definitions of a 'hot dog' (our favourite was when he pointed to Harvey), King was able to eat his way to a sizable lead.

Final score was Ken: 50, Jay: 44. Ken was the winner, but really, after watching that spectacle, we were all losers.

ILLEGAL HITS TO THE HEAD COMPETITION
The 2010-2011 Calgary Flames have been known for one thing this year: No, not losing to the Islanders at home, and no, not being an easy win for real teams in this league, and no, not for having some of the worst special teams seen in some time. No, the 2010-2011 team has been known for dirty hits to the face.

This competition featured Olli Jokinen, Curtis Glencross, and added at the last minute, one Tommy Kostopoulos.

The players showed off their, uhh, stickwork, in front of the crowd buy hitting Gary Bettman dummies (redundant). Points were awarded based on where the stick and/or elbow of the player hit the dummy, and whether or not they were able to cut the dummy. Cut dummies spill 'dummy guts', and the players had the pile of 'dummy guts' they were able to extract weighed for bonus points.

The competition started out with Olli, which is to say that it started out slow. Nobody could figure out what was wrong (talent, the answer is talent), and then a eureka moment hit Harvey. He picked up the Gary Bettman dummy and threw it at Nik Hagman. Upon seeing his fellow countryman hit, Olli went nuts. Joker literally tore the dummies head off. Who says Olli lacks 'finnish'?

Glencross was up next. He lassoed the dummy (who but Glencross would bring a lasso to a skills competition?), spun it around so it's face was not pointed towards him before he skated up and smacked that sucka like it was a red jerseyed step child. He then dropped the dummy to it's knees before executing a very neat hogtie. We gave him a 5 out of 10 for the hit, but the technique on the tiedown brought him up to a 7.

Tommy K was last. Nobody really knew he was even in the competition until a puck Jarome had happened to be shooting rebounded off Kipper and landed at the Gary Bettman dummys feet. Then, in a blink of an eye, Tommy K comes out of nowhere and delivers a clean and legal hit to the thing. It was awesome. He broke the dummies freakin jaw! Also, Brad Stuart is whiny.

The winner? The fans.

GRIPPING THE STICK COMPETITION
This competition was probably the most competitive. It had a full field, featuring everyone but the Flames best players. Jarome, Kipper, and Jackman were exempt from the event.

The event was judged by noted non goal scorer and former Flame Chris Clarke. Not for any particular reason, just that Chris, like Commodore, hates Columbus and loves Calgary. Anyways, the player that missed scoring on an open net the most times out of 10 attempts would win the competition, with extra points being awarded for any shot that was really atrocious. Which meant Matt Stajan picked up a lot of bonus points.

It took nearly all afternoon, but between Rene Bourque, Nik Hagman, Olli Jokinen, Brendan Morrison, Matt Stajan, Matt Stajan again where the hell are you man, and Mike Backlund, the winner was Ales Kotalik.

Because Ales Kotalik fucking sucks. (As an aside, do you guys like Kotaliksballs, or Kotaleech better?)

MOST EMBARRASSED TO BE WEARING THE JERSEY COMPETITION
The fans won, obviously! But it was real close, because Alex Tanguay chose to not even show up for the event. Believe us, Alex, we know how you feel. We get sick of watching this shit too.

OVERALL WINNER OF THE SUPER SKILLS COMPETITION
TJ Brodie won this competition. Because he is TJ Brodie, that's why. And he should probably be up playing with the big club, because we are a last place team. Just sayin'.
...

Non PC Take on Kosto:

Tommy K's suspension is insane. It was a clean hit 5 years ago, hell, it was a clean hit last year. And because it wasn't a blindside hit, it should be legal this year. Brad Stuart played the puck! That's his fault for doing that when he was in a position of vulnerability, in a high traffic area. If the Red Wings had a problem with the hit, they should have done something about it on the ice, not wait till the game was over and start bitching and moaning to the media about how poor little Brad Stuart broke his glass jaw (big ups for breaking Stuarts jaw, Tommy K) because he wasn't paying attention to what was going down on the ice.

Earth to Brad Stuart: God gave you elbows man, and a stick shaft. Use them if you don't want to get hit. Is not putting your elbows up, or your stick shaft up, when someone is coming in like that to hit you the oldest trick in the book? Shouldn't NHL veterans know these tricks? Shouldn't they be expected to deploy them?

Look, we may be neanderthals, but we were taught that you have responsibility for you when you are on the ice. That means you better keep yourself safe, know who is on the ice with you, ect. You don't put yourself in a bad spot, period, because then bad things can happen.

We will give some of Tommy K's detractors the fact that maybe Tom has his elbow come up high. Maybe. But look at the video again. It's the same hit that was delivered by Staal to Matt Stajan. Stuart is watching where he sent the puck and has his head down. He breaks his jaw because his head is tilted down, watching the puck. It's insane that this is considered a dirty hit. It's a great hit, and it took skill to time it up right. Great hit, Tommy K.

But you did hit a Red Wing, and you did cause an injury, so according to the joke that is the NHL's wheel of justice, you get suspended. We don't get it.

On Kippers Soft Goals:

Thank the lord that someone on the team realizes we need to lose games...

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.