Friday, July 23, 2010

Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award

It's Friday, and that means one thing: Senoritas!
What's that? Oh yeah! It is also that time of the week when we award the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (The RTPIC)!

There were a lot of nominees for this weeks award, let us tell you. First off the docket, why don't we piss some communists off. Remember when PM Harper lowered the GST from 7% to 5% and all you heard about was that it was a dumb move because you will lower government revenues (although starving the government of cash so it can't do dumb shit is to us a good thing)? Well, as it turns out, lowering taxes promotes economic behavior, which actually increases revenues. Now if only someone would tell Barry O and the Europeans. Actually, while we are on the topic of Barry, turns out he doesn't really mind that the people of Burma are slaves. With all the sucking up to dictators that the guy does (remember when he bowed down to the Saudi's?) this doesn't really surprise us. Hope and change, as long as you hope for the status quo and refuse to effect change. To finish off the topic of the red tide, Barb Higgins is preparing a bid for the top job of Mayor. We don't mind it, it will add some competition into the contest. The article we link to actually compares the girl to Ralph Klein. We can only hope that the author was referring to early, conservative Ralph, and not the corrupted, special interest beholden Ralph of the final years. Let's end the nominees with a light hearted one. Catholics, you might want to skip this. Hey Vatican, do you like fish dicks? Do you put fish dicks in your mouth? That makes you a gay priest. Honestly, priests going out and partying it up in the gay clubs? The hypocrisy of this institution is fucking disgusting. Anyways, those are your nominees.

The winner of this weeks Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award: Coach Huff, and The Speech.

Beat the Riders. For reals.

Seriously, we need to win this game. Huff better have a speech that is up to the task.

We don't care that the Riders are this big, bad, undefeated machine. Huff took Sheli Manning to the next level, and got him to beat the big, bad, undefeated Patriots. Durant wouldn't be allowed to lick Brady's jock strap, so we are pretty confident Huff is going to have Hank in a good place to beat down the team he left.

Remember that? When Hank's wife saw the reaction of the Rider fan when he dumped a bunch of shit on that kickers lawn and told Hank she wouldn't live in the inbred capital of Canada anymore? That was awesome, Rider fan. We got a Grey Cup out of that.

Seriously, doesn't Rider fan come off dumber than Darryl Sutter? Rider fan, try not to throw up on any kids in our stadium, or start a fist fight because somebody yells out 'Riders suck'. We would suggest you use the manners your mother taught you, but we all know Rider fans don't have mothers. They emerge from the vast piles of cow manure that dot the ugly Saskatchawhere landscape.

Honestly, why are they even let into the stadium? You know why they turned the stadium into a military zone? Rider fan. We want the city to either bar them from the stadium, or send them the bill for all the extra cops we have to employ at the stadium to make sure Rider fan doesn't have some temper tantrum when the 13th man runs onto the field and costs them, well, we don't know, how about a Grey Cup?

Honestly, how the hell do these...people even make it across the border? Oh yeah, that's right. They live in Calgary because Regina is such a jobless hell hole. You are in this city now, Rider fan. You've probably been in this city for like 5 years. Wear red.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired. HE'S A RIDER FAN!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

On The Contract


Bettman locked the players out of hockey for a season because he had, in his mind, the perfect solution to stop the problem of teams with money using it. He was going to institute a hard salary cap, dammit, and he was going to do it his way. Over a year of NHL hockey was lost because of his demands.

So you would think, logically, that a man who was prepared to potentially kill his league with a lockout would have fully and deeply thought through his solution. After all, he had the years previous to the lockout to devise his solution, and he had the lockout years themselves. That is a hell of a lot of time to tinker and get the solution right.

It's become increasingly obvious Bettman didn't/doesn't have the intellectual heft that was required for the task. He didn't, Bill Daly didn't, and none of the legions of blood sucking lawyers they have on staff did either.

When you structure you salary cap in such a way that the salary cap hit is derived from the simple division of the value of the contract over the term, you have left the door wide, wide open for what just occurred re: Ilya and his acceptance of a 17 year contract.

We will get into the merits of this system in a moment, but let's be clear about one thing. This situation of owners giving out money and then attaching it to huge term was caused solely by Bettman, because he allowed it into his CBA.

We don't want to alarm any of you, but NHL owners are not, for the most part, dumb hicks. They know how to read legal-ese, or they have a staff of lawyers on hand who do. The fact is this loophole was immediately obvious to them the day the CBA was ratified.

For Gary to now cancel contracts for taking advantage of the language he put into his CBA is absolutely fucking ridiculous.


Ilya signed a 10 year, 102 million dollar contract, ok people? Because no team can absorb that kind of cap hit, 7 years were tacked onto the contract to get the cap hit down. What's the problem with that?

By taking a lower a cap hit, Ilya frees up money for other players to get paid. Specifically, by taking about a $6 million dollar cap hit as opposed to $10 million, he created $4 million dollars in salary for some other player to get. He made another player very wealthy with his contract. Again, what's the problem with that?

Let's be perfectly clear on this. Not every team in the NHL has money. In fact, most of the teams in this league are what you would consider poor teams. Go over to and just take a look for yourselves where teams sit re: money committed to player salaries.

They wouldn't have been in a position to give Ilya $100 million dollars, because they are not in the position to give players $20 million dollars, no matter the length of the contract.

The teams with money have spent it, for the most part. They don't tend to have cap space in the $10 million dollar range. Hell, LA was offering Ilya a contract that would have made his cap hit smaller than the NJ deal did. And is 15 years of term any more believable than 17 years, in terms of whether or not the player is going to be playing for the full length of the contract?

To take a team that has money to spend and say to them that they cannot spend it because it upsets the sensibilities of the poor owners is bullshit. We are sure Nashville is upset that NJ would have been able to go out and get another $4 million dollar player because of Ilya's contract. But you know what? If NJ doesn't spend that money (the $4 million), Nashville won't be. They don't have any money! And this league is full of Nashville's.

This meme of the 'rich getting richer' is then exposed for what it is: Stupid. Why? Because it assumes that if rich teams are allowed to go out and spend whatever they want on players, the small market teams will be shut out of the talent pool. Uhh, earth to the anti-capitalists: Small market teams don't have money to spend anyways on players. They are already shut out of the talent pool.

Why? Many reasons, but here is a pertinent one. A big name player isn't going to sign with a team that doesn't have the resources to build a winner around him (unless you're name is Rick Nash). A lot of teams in this league spend closer to the cap floor than to the cap ceiling. Ergo, a lot of the teams in this league have voluntarily taken themselves out of the position to bring in talented and big name free agents. A lot of teams in this league have taken themselves out of a position of winning, due to their own budgets.

We are suppose to feel sorry for cheap owners? You know what hurts the league more than 17 year contracts? Cheap owners who gripe and bitch about having to spend money period.

To us, if a big market team wants to sign a guy that only a big market team could afford, that isn't a big deal. If they want to go further and structure the contract in such a way as to allow them to continue to spend money on players, power to them. The money 'slack' that would have been produced by a $10 million dollar cap hit (the $4 million) wasn't going to get picked up by anyone else but another big market team, or, if the player was only in it for the money, it was going to get picked up by a team trying to reach the cap floor.

Who does that help? Weak sisters hurt the league.

And that is what strikes us as odd about the Ilya situation. The fans would have won, the players would have won, the owners, to an extant, would have won. Nobody was taking a loss from this deal, but Gary. And that is why he killed it; because he was getting embarrassed his perfect CBA was anything but.

It smacks to us as a very arbitrary decision.


We have issue with some of the media members and their portrayal of this whole affair.

Dreger: The reason behind the rejection is that 17 years is an incredible length for any contract in professional sports, but when you look at the numbers on Kovalchuk's deal with the Devils it was easy to establish that the numbers dropped off incredibly on the back-end of the contract. Neither the team nor the player expected Kovalchuk to finish his contract and play out those years.

What the fuck is this drivel? Neither the team nor the player expected to finish this contract? How the fuck does he know? He reads minds now? We can all see that it probably isn't likely he wouldn't be playing, but that doesn't mean Ilya or the Devils don't 'expect it' to happen. Honestly, if we were the lawyers for Ilya or Lou, we might consider suing over this statement. Unless someone was stupid enough to put down in writing that they expect Ilya to retire in year 11 of the contract, Ilya, in good faith, would be 'expected' to play the contract out. Lou signed the contract, Ilya signed the contract, both parties 'expect' Ilya to play for 17 years, the likelihood of that actually happening is secondary. Unless, of course, Bettman is accusing one of Lou or Ilya to have signed the contract in 'bad faith'.

Which, if he is, strikes us as odd, because Loungo's, Zetterberg's, Hossa's, and Franzen's contracts all drop off in the final years of the contracts. Why are these contracts signed in 'good faith' but Ilya's was not?

Also, the NHL hasn't released a statement about this situation. Why isn't the media hounding them for one?


This is funny. Save your injuries for the season, buddy.


Some of you know RT, one of the O.G. Domebeer-aholics. But did you people know he is from, and lives in, Calgary?

Race traitor!

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

What The Hell Should We Write About?


As it stands today, the Jays are 9.5 games back in both their division and in the wildcard standings. The season is over. Thanks for getting the team that closer that they needed to compete, Rogers.

Kevin Gregg...scouts are watching you, dude. We don't care how much you love the T dot O. We don't care you are a loser who is allergic to winning environments. We hate you, asshole. You can't close games. You're fucking worthless.

The poor GM of the Jays is trying to get you off the fucking team. He invites some scouts down to watch you, he puts his reputation on the line for your ass. How do you reward him? You blow a save to Kansas City? KANSAS CITY!?

You know what, Gregg? You are actually what this team needs. The more you appear, the more L's appear on the Jays record, which means the Jays will get better draft picks.
And while we are trying to collect L's...why are John Buck, Jose Bautista, and Lyle Overbay still on this team?

Rogers is notoriously cheap. You would think they would relish the chance to shed salary.


Is it just us, or have the Stamps been boring as shit this year?

Change that shit, Lewis!

We will be in Arizona for the next two weeks, which means we miss the Stamps vs Riders game. It also means we won't be catching gonorrhea from consoling some young, poor, sad Rider fan over the beat down her team just suffered at the hands of Smiling Hank.

Maybe it will be on the NFL Network. NFL Network: Better than the NHL Network, not as good as the MLB Network.


AZR is fucking ecstatic Sweet Lou got fired. Now, just fire the GM and the players and we might get somewhere.


Domebeer-aholics, we are about to present some numbers. Get ready.

The Flames scored 201 goals last year. Will we score more this year? We think...yes!

So what we did was take the players shot totals over their entire career and divided it by their games played to come up with Shots/Games Played. We took this number and then decided to multiply it by 82 to try to come up with the amount of shots they would generate in a season. We then took this number and multiplied it by the players historical shooting percentage, which gave us the amount of 'goals' that would get scored in the 'season'. The goals have been rounded.

Now, what we didn't do was the fourth line players. We also didn't do Pardy or Kronwall, because as of now Staios and Sarich are still sucking up the roster. We also included Kotalik, for the same reasons. Also, Ian White is there, even though we are curious as to whether or not he remains a Flame. If Sutter can do one thing, it's sign players to contracts, so we assume the deal gets done.

Drumroll please. Start with the offense.

Would you look at that: six 20 goal scorers!

And now the defence.

That's what it is, people. Obviously, it isn't perfect. We have Staios scoring 5 goals, which is a big red flag as to whether or not the model is correct. Also, as you can probably tell, we don't factor in anything like time on ice, or zone starts or any of that jazz into the model (for instance, Ian White isn't going to be starting in the offensive zone 70% of the time or whatever he was like when he was back in Toronto, which will affect the numbers). Also, a lot of these guys are from the East, which means, Stajan, your numbers are coming down as well. Keep the warts in mind when you look at the charts.

Anyways, Domebeer-aholics, we count 209 + 34 = 243 goals. We scored 201 last year. +42.

Look, we aren't that thrilled with the way the team looks. With that said, some of these numbers are believable. Most of the guys, well, all of the guys not named Jarome, are in the 15-20 goal range. And that seems to mesh with reality. What doesn't mesh with reality is the 82 games played from every player, which won't happen. Still, what can injury kill? 20, 30 goals? That would still be an improvement over last year!

So there is some hope on a Tuesday. Is 243 goals enough to win the conference? Fuck no. Is it enough to make 8th place? Should be.

Should Darryl be commended for building an 8th place team? No, obviously not. 8th place teams don't win Stanley Cups. They lose in the Finals. But of course, the mouth breathing Flame fans who cheer cheer cheer will be happy with it (wave to the CP forum users). And keeping the casual fan happy is what this team seems to be all about. to figure out how much we are going to get scored on with no NHL caliber top line to speak of.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should get fired.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

The Week Ahead

Next week on

- Stamps

- Flames

- Smack

- Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award

Can we talk about something for one second? Cool. No defensive stats for the CFL on TSN? What's that about?

Anyways, is this true? Because this stat page shows different. Which is...odd.

Labinjo, 2 tackles? You are on pace for a blistering 12 tackles, amigo. Bench the ham, man.

Something Funny?

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.