Saturday, March 20, 2010

...Continued, Featuring Jarome Fighting

It was talked over, and we decided we couldn't let the debate end so easily. I will be upfront, and admit we probably will not be able to talk Mr. Wilson off his point. But it would be a disservice to the Domebeer-aholics, and Domesphere readers in general, if we didn't take one last shot, and at least try to convince some of the undecided.

The one topic of interest is really two. The Abbotsford issue, and then the larger issue of what I will call sources.


The people of Abbotsford wanted sports in the city. They wanted one so bad that they decided, through a referendum, to build a sports stadium. The people voted 54%+ build the stadium. Presidents are elected on such margins, and the French would have broken the country up with such a margin. That is a huge amount of support. Kent seems to be angry that after a government program was implemented, there were cost overruns. Sorry, Kent, but that isn't a legitimate argument. Every government program ever has cost overruns, which is why people like me hate government projects. If you don't want to pay for an $84 million dollar stadium, then don't vote to pay for a $64 million dollar one. If you don't want to be stuck with the tab of operating the stadium, get a lease agreement in place that stipulates that before you let the tenant move in. Kent appears to believe that the people of Abbotsford where silly little children duped into the whole thing by reptilian politicians. I happen to believe that Abbotsford has adult voters who went into this this eyes wide open, fully cognisant of the inherent risks involved in building a stadium without a fucking tenant guaranteed to move in. And that's the rub right there that Kent seems to conveniently ignore. The people needed a tenant, and the Calgary Flames provided one. Did they provide one for free, and give everyone in Abbotsford a unicorn? No, because they are trying to make money. As City manager Frank Pizzuto said, speaking of the 5.7 million dollar annual guarantee that Kent hates: "This is what it took to have a team in Abbotsford,". Period point blank. Abbotsford wanted a team, the Flames offered one on their terms, and the city agreed. No gun was pointed at Abbotsford head. Sorry, but we believe in responsibility  for ones actions here at Domebeers, and don't shed any tears for Abbotsford.

As an aside, if you read the article it is pretty clear that the local noise about this issue is being generated by whiny people who seem mad that there isn't money available for their little pet projects. That's called greed. The big tip off is the anger that the Heat would dare have the chutzpah to try to claim 60% of the profit generated from their activities. Those bastards. Sorry Kent, but I can smell an astroturf campaign when I see it. These people are anti-business. Me-thinks denying the loony kooks of the city some funds was probably a little bit of the motivation for spending the dough on a stadium.


The Abbotsford side of this story is one where reasonable people can have disagreements. My real issue with Kent and his take has to do with the people he sourced as his information, and the defence he employed when their character was called into question, which is exactly what we are doing at Domebeers. Roger Noll and Andrew Zimbalist may have doctorates, but I don't understand why that lends any credibility to their research. Kent, lots of weirdos with personal agendas have Ph.D.'s. Taking someone at their word because they have those 3 little letters at the end of their name is pretty lemming like, to be honest. I don't know if Kent or any of the Domebeer-aholics read those two comrades resumes, but I suggest you do so. Mr. Noll is a straight up leftist. Which is cool, but don't pretend he doesn't have a bias. How do I know? Look up his sponsored research. Besides such red drivel as 'Studies in the Regulation of Economic Activity' we can also see he was a favourite of LBJ (who was such a staunch anti-racist he saw race in everything), where his White House consulting credit comes from. LBJ was a notorious caste system advocate, who was such a favourite of his country he was promptly replaced with Richard Nixon. If Kent wants to argue that someone who worked in the LBJ administration isn't tinged with left wing kookism, that's fine, it just means he thinks his audience won't know any better. Mr. Zimbalist is a slightly more respectable fellow to source, although he too has his bias. He has spent his entire career litigating for various players unions against ownership. His job seems to be providing expert witness for players unions suing ownership. Am I shocked to discover that his research tends to align with what appears to be his own personal politics? Not really, but I was shocked to see some try to dismiss this fact with the 'well he has a Ph.D.'. Domebeer-aholics, let this be a teaching moment. Everyone under the sun has an agenda, and you can't take what people say as gospel. This is double true when it comes to economists. As one of the anonymous commentators pointed out, economic studies, and Domebeer-aholics, really, this is a big deal, are full of suppositions. A lot of the basic math behind the models is from assumed propositions, which makes the model subject to the law of GIGO, or Garbage In Garbage Out. It's that famous line about 'lies, damned lies, and statistics'. The problem with looking to the Ivory Tower is they are often too narrow in scope. It is true that a large amount of research shows that public funding for sports stadiums is a bad idea. What people fail to mention is 'compared to what?'. And the compared to what is really the issue here. You have to look at who funds the studies, who prepares the studies, ect. Bias is real and if you think these people are white as the virgin snow because they are 'researchers' and have 'Ph.D.s' well, I think that is a fairly weak defence. Lots of snake oil salesmen are educated.

Kent is not talking me off my point, and I probably won't talk him off his. It isn't personal, but I think I am right and he is wrong, and he probably thinks the vice-versa. Cool. But maybe I was able to convince some people who were in the undecided camp that the Flames are not the devil, and are in fact operating as any rational person would expect them too in this situation.

Enough with the politricks, lets talk some hockey. Fucking eh, right?

From last nights action, a few things:

One: Jarome is a fucking ninja. Do not fuck with that hombre. He had some bad intentions for Clowes face, which was nice to see. It probably would have been nice to see during the San Jose 9-1 beat down of the Flames a few weeks ago, but beggars can't be choosers, and I for one am happy he at least decided to fight someone. I honestly can't stay mad at the guy, and if he decides to bring it in the last 10 games and get us into the playoffs, I won't complain.

Two: Peter Loubardias is fucking awful. I don't know why the Domebeer-aholics have not flooded Overtime with calls about how this guy is ruining the viewing experience with his repellent suckness, but you gotta start. He actually said, and this is a quote: 'A collision of large human beings'. What the fuck, Loubardias? You get paid to call games and you bring that shit? Charlie Simmers Hair thinks your a joke. Rogers needs to step it's game up and fire this amateur. The guy who won the Red Hot Ram has more flamboyance than Loubardias does. Hire that guy.

Oh yeah. Nystrom bodied Rob Blake off the puck last night in a huge way. Respect. Do that more than once a week and we will be even more thrilled.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award

It's Friday, and that means one thing: Time to hide out in the woman's locker room at the Talisman Centre!

Oh yeah. It's also time to award the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (the RTPIC!)

Mucho difficult decision this week: We had Jesse James cheat on his wife with a nazi whore, which was interesting. Why is this a RTPIC consideration worthy act? Because it makes Bullock available, duh. Call me, girl. Speaking of nazi whores, David Ahenakew died. I bet it was those pesky Jews. Kinda morbid this week, Domebeers, what with the nominations of a relationship killed via racist, and the death of a racist. Any feel good nominations? Certianly. One Timothy Richard "Tim" Tebow, future President Of The United States of America, brought a tear to this capitalists heart with his charging of $75 dollars per autograph at one of his recent appearances. Dude probably made 300 grand in less than hour. Respect. So many good nominations, it was very hard to pick. You know, kinda like this guy's nose.

This weeks winner of the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award: Richard Sterban of the Oakridge Boys

Richard is the guy with the bass going 'Ba Ba Ba Ba'. Bad fucking ass.

Richard Sterban began life in pre-Hotepsekhemwy Egypt. He was born into a family of priests to Horus, which allowed him the opportunity to start turning out ancient Egypt's music halls with such hits as 'It's Going To Take A Lot Of Nile' and 'Leaving Memphis In The Broad Daylight'. Unfortunately for him, he was also turning out the Pharoahs daughter. When the God King found out, Richard had only one option open to him. He allied with Scorpion King, Dwayne 'Go Stamps' Johnson. The Rock created a diversion, and Sterban was able to leave Egypt with his life. Moses was able to leave Egypt with his life, his people, and the Pharoahs gold, but who's comparing?

After leaving Egypt, Sterban began a long journey east. To what location Sterban was heading towards, only time (and your humble narrator) would tell. But on his epic quest, Sterban began to make love to many, many women. In fact, he did so much fucking that black, white, yellow, red, purple, or Texan, if you have a deep voice, some Sterban sperm was no doubt involved. It's very much like Muslim pirates and the Sicilians. Some of Sterbans notables are Mr. James Earl Jones, Mr. Tennessee Ernie Ford, and Mr. Shirley Bassey.

After travelling for quite some time, Richard Sterban would find himself in Calgary. Hearing a pre pubescent sounding announcer calling the games, and being physically unable to put up with such a travesty, Mr. Sterban would go all Mr. Kesuke Miyagi on the poor Beesley, and before long, the Calgary Flames had a man with a real voice to get all 'JJJJJJJJAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME IGINLA' with it. Such epic announcing would fuel the fire of the Flames for over 2 decades.

For bringing world class goal announcing to the Dome, Richard Sterban wins this week's Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Dear Mr Wilson

Quote Kent Wilson: "So, let's see...questioning the motivation of those conducting economic studies. Fallacious ad hominem attack. The stadium versus bus terminal thing is a false dichotomy. Those aren't the two choices. Asserting that the economic trickle down benefits of a Flames win is somehow 1.) large enough to justify multi-million dollar public subsidies into pro sports teams and 2.) relevant to the town of Abbotsford with it's 3,500 fans/night and high probability for yearly operating losses is baseless. And then the assertion that whatever happens under the governance of elected officials is consistently and explicitly the direct will of the constituents is so plainly at odds with reality that you might as well have claimed the sky is orange. Unless the voters of Abbotsford are willing to stage a bloody coup, throw out the current politicians and tear up the deal, their hands are basically tied till the next election. At which point the deal has already been signed. Pork barrel spending, rent seeking and bureaucratic corruption occur all the time in democracies, often in the face of opposition and to the direct detriment of the public at large." End quote.

Domebeers, you got a take?

Let's see, taking an academic study at face value in the face of the entire history of academic fraud is at best very naive. Was the paper peer reviewed, or something?

Also a local economic benefit as justification to build stadiums is not baseless, its entirely relevant. These things are amortized over at least 30 years, and the money is spent in the first couple of years. Where is it spent? Do martians build it? I bet they spend that money on martians and not the local work force. Obviously benefits apply to all stadiums, which means all one had to do was to extrapolate the benefits derived in Calgary to the benefits received in Abbotsford after a Heat win, on a smaller scale. But you knew that and were just going for an easy line, I know, because I do that.

As to whether or not people get the governments they deserve? It's very easy to look up how the people voted on the measure: 54.8% majority to build the stadium. Simple research Kent. The people voted for it. Your problem is with democracy, not with me for pointing it out. That number wasn't hard to find. It is almost like you didn't even look.

Hey, I have an idea. Let's look up Mr. Noll and Mr. Zimbalists resumes, shall we?

They are very easy to find:

Noll (click Curriculum Vitae)


These guys have never held a job outside of academia ever, and they are going to tell me what creates and doesn't create value? Obviously, they are suspect people to use as your champions. Honestly, Kent, for a guy who likes his advance stats and research, the fact that you didn't do a background check on this is a little surprising.

If you have an agenda against this kind of public policy, then say so.
Kent, I will be honest with you. I very much appreciate the support you have given Domebeers. You put me on your blogroll at fivehole, and you probably added 20 daily readers to my site by doing that. I haven't cracked 100 daily yet, so that number is noticeable. But this isn't your best work, in my opinion, and it doesn't look good on you.

This is also posted as a response to the original comment on

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

15 Questions With: The Road Tie

1) Domebeers: How are you, Road Tie?

Road Tie: I am quite well, thank you. I am very pleased to be back in the city where I made my name.

2) Domebeers: Well, what have you been doing with yourself?

Road Tie: Actually, it's a delightful anecdote. When Darryl relocated to upper management, I wasn't really needed in the city anymore, and so I decided I would slum it in the minors, so to speak. I travelled quite a bit in my youth, and I was quite excited to be getting an opportunity to do so again. It was during one of my adventures, through Newfoundland, that I found myself in the need for various sundry items. I headed over to the Red Circle Convenience Store, where who would I run into, but one time Flame prospect Dan Ryder. I must tell you, Domebeers, that I was indeed displeased by being mugged by that coke addled miscreant, and I promptly informed the RCMP about what shameful act he committed. The Mounties moved me into Witness Protection, which is why you don't have a picture of me to go with this interview.

3) Domebeers: Heavy stuff, Road Tie. How did the wife react?  

Road Tie: Wives, actually. I have 3 of them. Diora BirdAmerica Olivo, and of course, La Toya Jackson. They were just pleased I wouldn't have to spend so much time around Conroys wife anymore.

4) Domebeers: So it is true you are a polygamist. I read that in the tabloids. I have also read that the reason Playfair is still in the orginization is that he has pictures of you and the Tony Amonte Big Goofy Red Tie in a Bavarian shower with one Joseph Ratzenberger?

Road Tie: Haha, well, umm... I am not here to talk about the past.

5) Domebeers: So, Road Tie, it is a Saturday night. What are you getting up to?

Road Tie: Well, it depends, my good chap. The first 3 weekends are divided between the wives. Bird loves Asian food and culture, so I'll take her out for some chow mein, and after words, we will Sumo, if you catch my drift. Olivo is, what do the kids call it, hyphy? She is very hyphy. I'll take her out ghost riding, she loves that. La Toya is a much more conservative woman. We usually spend our date nights at the plastic surgery clinic. Lovely girl. When I get a Saturday free to myself, I enjoy spending it with good friends. Last week, for instance, Harvey the Hounds Tongue and I just went driving.

6) Domebeers: What is the last movie you saw?

Road Tie: Emanuel. I am very much interested in French cinema.

7) Domebeers: That's a little icky, Road Tie. What music are currently listening too?

Road Tie: Well, La Toya is getting me into this rap music. The children all call me an O.G., which I hope means something other than obnoxiously grotesque.

8) Domebeers: Mayor Bronconnier is retiring. Any thoughts on running for Mayor?

Road Tie: Ha, and risk an iced out Danny Ryder showing up at City Hall? I don't think it is in the cards, which is unfortunate. Have you seen the caliber of people who are vying to replace that loser you call a Mayor? I don't know if the collective brain wattage of that group of twits could power an Easy Bake Oven.

9) Domebeers: Tough words for the council. Hey, Road Tie, what has Green Hard Hat been up too?

Road Tie: Well, you know Green Hard Hat was always interested in finance. He actually got a job at Fannie Mae, and promptly started buying up all the securitized debt that he could get his hands on. After loading up Fannie's balance sheet with all that exotic paper, Green Hard Hat left the company and started his own firm on Wall Street. When the crash happened, he shorted the banks all the way to a billion dollars in his personal bank account. My boy!

10) Domebeers: What is your opinion on the Flames?

Road Tie: They are alright. I'm not really here to talk ill on my former employer, good chap. I am much more interested in the topic of 'me'.

11) Of course. Speaking of you, there are rumours that you and Lanny McDonalds Mustache have some beef. Care to tell the story?

Road Tie: First off, it is 'moustache' my good chap. Well, as you all are no doubt aware, Lannys Moustache is married to Halle Berry, who I have known since she was 17. Because of our relationship, I would often stay at Berry's house when I was travelling on the East Coast. Lannys Moustache is of course prone to fantastic pangs of jealousy. He has trust issues, I think. His mom really did a number on him. Anyways, he came to her house one day to find Berry and I in bed together. It wasn't what it looked like. I had simply slipped, but Lannys Moustache went insane and started trashing the house. I barely got out of there intact. Our relationship hasn't been the same since.

12) Domebeers: What is your opinion on Brent Sutters ties?

Road Tie: Well, if you google search Road Tie you won't find me, but if you search for Brents you will find them. People love a car crash. I don't wish to demean the man too much, but with ties like that, it is obvious his wife hates him. Why else would she let him leave the house with those things on? He doesn't help his cause by insisting to wear brown suits. Honestly, what type of douche bag wears a brown suit? And did you see that blue and yellow sparkling monstrosity he had on the other day? U-G-L-Y.

13) Domebeers: Favourite Sutter story?

Road Tie: None that I can talk about without getting you shut down, Domebeers. Although it is fairly innocuous, last time I was in the Calgary, we did go cow tipping. Boy, was she mad.

14) Domebeers: What do you think about Peter Loubardias?

Road Tie: You mean 'SKEEEYORES' boy? The Crypt Keeper? The Most Boring Man In The World? A man so awful that he could make Helen Keller call the suicide hotline? I think he is just wonderful.

15) Domebeers: Would you rather lick ass or toes?

Road Tie: I am just a tie, Domebeers. I can't even talk. That's more of a question for Charlie Simmers Hair.

If you don't know what (who?) Darryl Sutters Road Tie is, this gag might not work so well. Oh well, don't be a bandwagoner and you can avoid not getting inside jokes.

Good win for the boys last night. Keeps hope alive, which is about all you can ask for at this point. Kotalik sucks, and on top of that he takes penalties. I don't get that trade at all. Joker could at least play against a teams 3rd line, and was off the books at the end of the year.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Gentlemen, We Can Retool The Flames, We Have The Technology

That chart (which is from here) pretty much backs up what I was saying yesterday, which is that the fans in this city really seem to only have time for a winner. From an ownership perspective, I think blowing this team up and rebuilding is completely out of the question. They run the team to make money, and to win a Stanley Cup, in that order. I really doubt that they will give up 4000 tickets so we can draft higher. the cheapest seat at the Dome is $44.75, and the most expensive non-box seat is $308.75 (from In the real world, your most likely to see that lost 4000 tickets come from the more expensive sections, but for this little exercise let me be real simple and put the ticket price at $100. $100*4000 =  $400,000 a game in lost revenues, or $16,400,000 over the season. You think the owners are giving up 16 million dollars so we can draft in high in the first round? Where can I get the shit your smoking?

Even at 3000 lost tickets, that's $12,300,000. It simply isn't happening. If the Flames had collected an Oiler-esque 50 points on the year, then hells yeah, the team gets blown up, because the owners wouldn't be expecting to sell out the building the next couple of years anyways. But we aren't that terrible, so the team is going to stay largely intact, by which I mean I don't think Mikka and Iggy are getting traded. As long as those two fill the building, they will stay. Unless Kipper demands a trade, of course.

With all that said, this then becomes a very important offseason. The fanbase indeed wants an elite team, not a good team that always gets tossed in the first round. Even if we make a miracle run this year and make it into the playoffs, another first round loss won't please the fanbase. After four years of first round exits, and the expectations going into this year, the minimum level of acceptance would probably be the West Final. Even if this group of losers gets into the second round, people will be skeptical about their prospects of winning for next year. This team, through their own indifferent and no heart play, going back several seasons, has lost the benefit of the doubt. That isn't on the coaches, and that isn't on the GM.

The team has a lot of suck on it. Obviously, I don't want to see a rebuild. But clearly the team needs to retool, both in the player personal department, and more importantly, philosophically. This isn't football, where a great defense can win you a championship even if you have no offence. This is hockey. People will point to the Ducks cup. Well, having Niedermeyer and Pronger helps, obviously, but having Getzlaf, Perry, and Selanne as well probably had something to do with it. And JBlow is no Niedermeyer, and Reggie is no Pronger. Hell, Reggie isn't even Gio good anymore. I think it is time to end this defence first nonsense. The game has changed. A team sporting Gonchar on the point won a Stanley Cup, for fucks sake. If the Sutters want to go dinosaur, fire them, let them go dinosaur on someone else's payroll. The team needs to switch from defense oriented to offense oriented.

Rebuild, no. Retool, yes. Would I be spending 6 million dollars on defencemen? Fuck no, shut down guys are cheaper than that. Gio can move the puck. JBlow is a luxury some other team can try to figure out. I don't see how you pay anything more than 5 million dollars on a defenceman, unless the cat gets you 40 - 60 points a year, year in year out. It is impossible to justify the 6.3 million cap hit for Sarich and Staios. Honestly, GM Sutter should be fired just for that. It's tough to pay wingers who don't score 25 goals 3 million plus dollars. That's Kotalik, Hagman, and Bourque I am talking about. I'd rather one of those 3 and then 6 million dollars on an actual point producing forward.

The Flames have a lot of contracts on their books that are not really market efficient. These can be moved to create the cap space necessary to upgrade the teams talent without necessarily hurting the team in another area. In English, that means that if you trade Sarich and Staios and replace them with farm kids GM Sutter is always talking about, that saves you 5 million dollars without really hurting the competitiveness of the team. Kotalik is another 3, so we are at 8 million in cap space without significantly effecting the teams ability to win games. This is what I am talking about when I say retool.

Should GM Sutter be the one making these decisions? No, he shouldn't, in my opinion. You need to be able to add and subtract to be a GM, and you get the feeling that isn't GM Sutters strong suit. Should Brent Sutter be the coach to implement the changes? Obviously not, the players play shows they don't respect him. Rebuild the front office, retool the team.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Flames Lose Important Game, Bettis Is From Detroit

So Reggie lets Serge Savard do his little spin-o-rama without getting up on him and taking away his time and space. Fatigue really does makes cowards of us all.

Seriously, I was not happy with that little display of meekness on Reggie's part. Get up on Franzen and level his fucking ass. Play like you care about your reputations as men. Cross check Holmstrom in the face, fucking hurt him, and he will stop getting in front of your net. Frustration!

Today, people are breaking out the pitch forks for GM Sutter. Fuck off, and I will tell you why. The fans in this city are fake. They are. You all know it, too. I have been a fan of this team long before the 03-04 Great Fan Awakening. You know what the Dome looked like before that? You think the owners of the team want to go back to half empty stadiums, no merchandise sales, no PPV buys, no revenue generation? I really hate to get into this whole 'real fan/fake fan' shit, but lets get real. People are buying tickets to the Flames because it is cool to do. It certainly hasn't been for the entertainment this last year especially. When it isn't cool anymore, do you think these people are coming to see a game? Oiler fans are selling out the building to see a second rate AHL team lose to anybody and their sister in skates. Do you think the people in this city would accept that shit and go doormat like that? I really don't.

The mob wants GM Sutter's head on a pike because they want a rebuild. Shut the fuck up, because you don't, not really. Stanley Cups are not guaranteed. You want to tank the franchise for the next 6 years so we have a chance to maybe win the Stanley Cup? Lenin was down with long term planning too, and we all know how pleasant the workers paradise was to be a serf in.

I'm not saying don't fire the GM. Right now, my gut wants him gone, wants his idiot brother gone, wants the rookie coaching staff that he assembled gone and replaced with vets ('cept Noodles. Noodles, you alright). You know, like what the Coyotes did. If they kept the GM, I wouldn't burn my jersey on the steps of the Dome, because I think the GM has shown he will at least revisit and reassess his own decisions, IE: Phaneuf, Joker trades. I wouldn't be the most thrilled with it. I think at the very least the guy needs to have someone else in the room with him making decisions. Sutter as Caesar hasn't worked, but I could live with him if we added a Diocletian, that is, if we got him an assistant GM who had some teeth.

What I am saying is that this franchise can't rebuild, because the fans will leave. I wish that wasn't the case, but I've lived through the shit years. A lot of you Domebeer-aholics have too, you know what I am talking about. Selfishly, I wish they would blow it up, so I could get some season tickets, but I also like that the owners will spend to the cap, something I am not sure they would do if the building wasn't full. And by not sure, I mean I am absolutely fucking positive that the owners won't keep spending max unless the house is packed. Sutter made the moves that he did this year largely to be able to sell the playoff dream, it appears, which I think lends a lot of weight to this little theory. Remember folks, Kenneth King is a salesman first and foremost.

Before I go on, let me at least address the elephants. We got screwed out of a Stanley Cup in 04. The goal was in, series over, Gelinas should have retired as a hero, a legend, in this city. But the goal was not counted and we lost the series. The fans want the Cup they should have had in 04, so that is where a lot of the pressure to win the Stanley Cup comes from. The other elephant? Mikka. Goalies of Kippers caliber are not hanging around at the 7 11 waiting to be picked up and signed. God only makes them in little batches, so when you get one, you better take advantage of it. The Flames are on the clock with Mikka. So far, we have Kevin Garnetted his ass. We are wasting him, which, if you know the history of Flames goalies, should make you fucking sick. I am shocked he hasn't demanded a trade, to be honest with you. The window to win is the Mikka window, realistically. Jarome is nice and all, but the drop off between the best goalies in the world compared to mortal goalies (second tier) is bigger than the drop off between the best forwards in the world and the next tier. When you have a great goalie, you owe it to him, and to the franchise, to do whatever it takes win the Cup. Which means no fucking rebuild. It means you clear out the shit, no try, no heart, no care players (except for Iggy) and bring in better ones. Spend the money, just spend it better.

Here is the other elephant in the room: Some of the owners of this team are going to die soon. I hate people who talk about their connections, but I have a few so I hear the whispers about the health, or lack of it, of some of the owners. Domebeer-aholics, one of the owners of this team has Alzheimers. For reals, no joke. They don't have six years of life left, period. If the owners want to win a Cup before they die, it has probably got to come in the next two years. You cannot rebuild.

Regular readers will know I think the Flames should sign Ilya. If they don't make the playoffs, I am x2 that opinion, if only as a sop to a pissed off fanbase. Even if you don't get Ilya, you need to go out and get another guy to play with Jarome, because every good team in the league has at least 2 guys who are world class, not counting goalies. We got a fading Jarome, (Domebeers still loves Jarome, we don't want him traded, and could care less if he ever scores again, as he is getting paid for his loyalty to us as a franchise), and a JBlow who looks like someone has strapped a leash on his ass and won't let him play like he can (why the fuck has JBlow not fought anybody? For that matter, when was the last time Jarome fought anyone?). We need another forward, like, that is non negotiable, and to win a Cup you probably need at least 3 (Iggy + Ilya + another legit (and I mean proven, year in year out) 30 goal, 70 point guy). On top of Bourque and/or Hagman.

Is GM Sutter the guy to do all this? Who knows. Who else are you going to hire? Seriously, you want to go back the Mickey Mouse days of Craig Button, or Risebrough (we like Coates at Domebeers, even though he probably does deserve to be in the shit list)? If you got someone legit, then replace him. If not, don't. But this rebuild shit is out of the question.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Hilarious Reference

I had forgotten how appallingly shit awful Peter Loubardias and Charlie Simmer are to listen to. They need to fucking get fired and go away. Having these two purveyors of pococurantism calling games makes us look like a Mickey Mouse franchise. It needs to be fixed.

Peter Loubardias is a full time junior guy who calls Flames games as a hobby. Sportsnet couldn't justify paying a guy full time money to call the Memorial Cup, so they stuck him with our franchise. He was the Oiler guy, but because the people who run Sportsnet are in love with and primarily watch Oilers games, they decided they didn't want this boring little turd fucking up their broadcasts of the games, so they moved him over to the Flames broadcast. Fuck you Sportsnet.

Charlie Simmers claim to fame is he was once married to Playboy bunny Terri Welles. For reals. This guy got his start in the business calling games for the Mighty Ducks in their first year, and then went on to call games for the Phoenix Coyotes. Let me read between the lines for you: Charlie Simmer was hired by franchises in markets where the fans needed someone who could dumb down the game enough for hockey neophytes. How the fuck did he end up here? Who knows, he probably works cheap, which seems to be one of the most important things you can put on your resume when trying to get a job at Sportsnet. The only thing Simmer has going for him is he has the best hair on TV, no homo.

Seriously, these two guys suck. They make the Flames look bad, and Sportsnet look worse, for employing these people. Domebeers isn't here to just hate, however. We also have suggestions.

Option #1: Radio broadcast.
To me, this is the best option. Simply sync the TV broadcast with the radio broadcast. Do I really need to explain this one further?

Option #2:
Play By Play: Mike Emrick
Colour: Terry Crisp
3rd Man: Theoren Fleury

This would be a great booth, in my opinion. Emrick is about as solid a play-by-play guy as they come, although who knows if he would leave NJ to come call shitty games over here. You could potentially replace Emrick with anyone with a deep voice, and I would be happy with that. Hell, I would take Jamie Campbell over Loubardias. Terry Crisp is doing the colour for obvious reasons: He is fucking good at doing colour. Oh, yeah, he also coached us to a Stanley Cup, not that that counts for anything, and by that I mean it's really fucking stupid he isn't doing the colour for us already. Nashville? Child, please. Pay the man and get his ass up here. 3rd man? I am normally not a fan of the 3 man booth, but in this case, it just makes to much sense not to do it. Theo probably needs a job, and he obviously wants to be involved in hockey, and probably with the Flames. Kenneth King is supposedly this marketing genius, but he hasn't come up with this idea. Steal it, Kenny, I won't care. Go ahead, Domebeer-aholics, tell Mr. King that he should pull the Flames off Sportsnet if they don't improve the booth.

So I am in Toronto, at this family function thing and I get stuck at the 'cousin' table full of weirdo Toronto people. Hurray! Some of the tidbits I picked up:

From the typical Toronto fan:
Dion Phanuef is the greatest hockey player of all time. Do you know he hitsfights, and scores? I didn't either, but I guess that's because I actually watch hockey. Whatever. I was also sitting next to a CA, you know, someone who is paid for his analysis, and his take on Dion was he was Paul Coffey without brains or talent. Huzzah!

Boys played well enough last night that I think they deserved a better fate. It would be nice to see them play 60 minutes instead of 40, but at this point, I'm just happy they didn't quit after the first.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.