Monday, September 27, 2021

FAN960 Cancels Overtime Call In Show

 Let's be real here: Pat Steinberg is a terrible host. Have you listened to Overtime? He lets boring and retarded callers go on and on and on and on and on...

Terrible radio, but what is sad is that someone with a small amount of talent could have made it a good show. You need a competitive host who isn't afraid of hot takes. Oh well. 

I wonder if they are afraid of people calling in to call wuflu fake. A boy can dream. The actual reason is the team is boring and has no sizzle, so who gives enough of a fuck to call in after games?

Edwards has ran this team into the ground. Very sad what has happened to the franchise. 

LMAO: Did The Flames Partner With A Gentleman Of Ill Repute With There PORTPASS App?

 I'm dying laughing. 

The Flames were advertising people to get on some app called 'PORTpass' or some shit, I can't be bothered with accuracy here, because all of this shit is so very fake and so very gay. 

Anyway, from the Flames emails, here is their acceptable ways to show proof of the vax:

What documentation is accepted for COVID-19 proof of vaccination?
The following documentation will be accepted:

  1. Preferred & Fastest - For the most efficient entry possible, all ticket holders should sign up and download PORTpass and complete their COVID-19 proof of vaccination online or through the app. A photo, green check mark indicating fully vaccinated, and a QR code will be displayed from the app - no photo identification at entry gates required.
  2. The Province of Alberta's printable vaccination card (printed hard copy or saved on a mobile device) verified with photo identification at entry gates. Vaccination cards are available at
  3. Hard copy documentation of vaccination received at the time of vaccination (including the name of the person vaccinated, type of vaccine provided, and the date last dose administered) verified with photo identification at entry gates.
  4. Immunization records on the MyHealth Records app - select immunization tab at entry and verified with photo identification at entry gates.
  5. A photo of hard copy documentation or immunization records with the patron's name clearly visible verified with photo identification at entry gates.
  6. Any other official provincial, territorial, or federal apps.

I bolded the PORTpass shit. Do you wanna guess what happened next (allegedly)?

I'm dying laughing, as I said. Are the Flames liable here? They were directing their customers to upload their personal information to a database that apparently had no security on it, where people who knew what they were doing could access the back end of the database, people could upload random documents and receive verification, etc. Just sketchy as fuck. And the CSEC, Flames mothercorp, had publicly advocated for their customers to use this application. Surely they are liable here for something? There are no brave lawyers, I know because I've been trying to find one to sue the Flames over their vax pass, but surely someone here can smell some money, right?

Sue them, somebody sue them. The Flames look very bad right now. 

"So with any free service such as this, you need to think about the funding model. Assuming that isn’t “sell your personal info to overseas identity thieves and ransomware gangs”, the only other source is partnerships with organizations like CSEC. This means that your Calgary Flames dollars were just spent on helping confirm that yes, Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo is indeed double vaccinated."

I mean... any optimism I had for the Flames this season just went through the toilet. I'm...listen, I'll be honest. Since the old Flames owners all died, the team has been poorly run. GM's who are out of their league hiring coaches who are out of their depth signing players who are out of gas. Supervised by an owner who may or may not even live in this country anymore. Fuck all this shit. 

Thursday, September 23, 2021

Actual Important News: Like, For Realz You Guys: Shit Will Blow Your Mind, Hope You Are Sitting Down Type Shit: Elvira...Is A Dyke (WTF!)


This is my shocked face

Holy shit. In my mind, whenever I would think about that certain type of woman, the vixen, the man eater, that particular type of succubus, whatever you want to call 'That Type', the image of Elvira is what I thought of. This is shattering, truly. 

Hot lesbians don't exist in the wild! My theory has been attacked. Exception proves the rule, is how I will cope with this utterly devastating piece of news. 

Honestly, who cares about 13's contract, or 19's contract. Elvira is a lesbian. The world is a cold bitter place, filled with broken dreams and shattered hopes. There is no progress, there is no destination. There is only the illusion of such, fueled by disappointment and misery. 

But also, she had a great pair of tits. 

LOL: Despite Requiring Everyone In The Building To Be Vaxxed, Flames Still Requiring People To Wear Masks

Tell me the vaccines aren't effective and are generally a placebo without telling me the vaccines aren't effective and generally act as a placebo, right?

Look, I like to dunk on the Flames because they suck and are poorly run and are hard to cheer for because of it. But this is an issue above the Flames. If the effeminate ruling class wants to convince the skeptical and calm down the panicked, they should start acting like, I don't know, just spitballin' here, that the vaccines actually work. 

I know I'll be eating my popcorn reeeeeeal slow. Built in excuse for the crowd not cheering, I guess. 

Still not sure if I'll even go. The assault on civil liberties, with the masses cheering it on, screaming about how the Jews errr un-vaxxed are ruining everything, is very Germany. If only the kulaks were liquidated our plans would work, comrade! It's all very disappointing, truth be told. 

The proper solution is to declare wuhan cough over. Stop testing, attribute all respiratory illness to the flu, move on. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there is never going to be a world without the wuhan cough. The inoculations should only be administered to old people, sick people, or fat people (and I'm truly iffy if I'd make them available to fat people) to avoid the evolutionary bottleneck we are creating for the virus. Children should be intentionally made sick with it, like they do with the chicken pox. But there is no money in treating the virus that way, and the petty bureaucrats won't get power that way, so the obvious and adult solutions will never be implemented. We live in a world ruled by childless women and hysterical faggots, and the current situation will be handled as those people will handle it. Lucky us. 

You will notice, of course, that there is no goal line as to when the pandemic will be declared over. You will notice, of course, nobody in the media ever asks that question. Even in this province, the 'temporary' measures have no goal. There is no "If vax rates hit X then the restrictions end", or "if hospital capacity becomes X then the restrictions are lifted". Wonder why. I don't mean that to be glib. I don't think the people in charge are this evil cabal, I think they are just truly over their heads, and scared. 

Anyways, the Flames GM didn't sign 13 to an extension, he has a list of 5 teams he can be traded too, and the team might be in a dogfight for the last playoff spot in the division. So awesome. 


Thursday, September 9, 2021

Is My New Flames Customer Rep Hot?

Listen, I know the Flames have had a terrible, horrible, no good offseason, and we all have questions. Like, are the Flames really selling tickets this season? Do they expect the fans to enjoy the fact they are returning a non playoff team but minus a former Norris winner? Do they think the fans will like the fact they are bringing a worse team back? I know, I know.

But there is something more important to discuss, yes more important that "Why had Brad not been able to trade Monahan for 3 years in a row?" or "Why won't he go out and get an impact centre for this team? or "Why is Brad so weird looking? What's up with his eyes? Is he like a predatory bird wearing a man suit?" 

That question is, obviously, is my new Flames rep (us fancy season ticket holders get reps, cry more plebs) hot?

In her intro email she has a name and a brief bio. The name isn't important for 'is she hot or not', but some of the bio is. She goes to Mount Royal for a fake degree (Health and Physical Education...lmao they need gym teachers to have degrees I'm fucking dying). Some of you correctly subtract hotness points for university education, so I am sharing that info. 

Anyway...she appears to be under 30 but honestly it is a close call. I'd guess 25 or older, under 30. 

I'd say she is cute. So she's at least a 6. She's maybe a 7 in real life? She's on the threshold of hot. But who knows, if she's like a 6 foot tall ogre that would obviously change the equation. Honestly I'd need to see her chest and ass to make a proper determination. 

Exit question: My lawyer says I need a class action lawsuit to have an effective chance at suing the Flames over the mandate. Worth an ad in the paper? 


Thursday, September 2, 2021

OMG Flames Go Full POZ

 Jesus, as if this team could not get any gayer (looking at you, Noah).

I figure this shit is mandated by corporate, like Bettman makes them do it. Because everyone knows the audience that really loves hockey are homosexuals and mentally ill men in dresses. Well...wait...actually hockey does have that weird homosexual pedophile problem. Maybe I'm the one who is out to lunch on this.

Anyway, all the designs are super gay. Except this one, this one I like. Has a good vibe:

I'm not giving up early 90's running suit colours to the fags. Sorry. It's a hill I'll die on. Those colours work. This is the flag of the Super Straights now. 

It is kinda funny the Flames are running the state mandated pride shit because Murray Edwards wife was a lesbian and she left his fat ugly ass for...K.D. Lang. She has a type. 

(K.D. Lang is Domebeers approved by the way. We like her. We respect Game in these here parts, Heather Edwards is a hot piece of ass.)

It's actually worse than I thought. I went to Oilers twitter account, no gay shit at all on their, besides a picture of Nurse and his weird ass looking face, know. Bathhouse alert.

Senators: No gay shit.

Jets: No gay shit.

Canucks: You'd think...but you'd be wrong. No gay shit at all. 

Very very suspect Calgary. Nenshi running the social media account?

Toronto, who fires people who don't want to sleep with men in dresses or whatever: No gay shit. 

Habs: No gay shit 

We are literally the gayest team in the NHL. A quick twitter search (I googled the gay markets) shows nobody is doing this stuff...other than San Jose. And we are getting gayer with it than San Jose, where the gay programmers live. Not even Pittsburgh is doing it, and Burke, whose kids all turned out POZ, is running that show. Makes ya think. 

Can I request the Flames make the HIV's show proof of vaccination to get in the building, or is that a step too far??

Anyway...please trade for someone good? Eichel, Hertel, who ever. Trade futures and some bottom six cap hits (Coleman?) for a good top six player. That would be nice, I think. 

Poor Monahan looks like he is being held hostage.

Exit question: What Cher song do the Flames use as the goal song this year?

Thursday, August 26, 2021

LOL: Flames Front Office Ranks 24th In NHL In Some Survey

 My initial thought was, "That high?" 

Can you tell I'm not happy with what the team did in the offseason? Anyway, I have some more evidence in support of the shitty ranking. 

As you may have heard, the Flames went full Branch Covidian and decided you needed to take one of these shitty ineffective vaccines if you wanted to watch the shitty ineffective team. Kinda stupid, I'm not for it, but whatever. The funny thing is if you email these jokers over at the Flames, they will tell you with a straight face that they have no idea about any of the details about this announced policy. Like, I hope they are lying to me when they say that, but holy shit I could see this team going full ROR-offer-sheet-mode, not doing any of the basic work, and totally fucking this up. Hopefully they have left themselves exposed to a lawsuit or something. Fuck these guys.

Honestly, imagine running a business, announcing a policy change, and when people ask you for the details about said policy, something as simple as "What constitutes proof, what documents should I bring to the 'Dome to get in?", they reply "lolshrug we haven't really thought about it lol". 

Does that breed trust? Like, does that make you think the people running the team know what the fuck they are doing? It doesn't inspire confidence in me, to say the least. 

If these guys didn't have Sutter employed, there would be exactly zero people employed there that I would take their word for when they told me the sky was blue. The Coyote crew amateur's act has gotten really stale. 

I mean, lets be real. They are demanding, no matter what your own personal health profile is, that you go get a vaccine that has shown to be, at the very least, highly dubious when it comes to actual effectiveness. The disease that has a 99% survival rate is a scary thing if you are old, fat, or sick. Why not just require every old, fat, and sick person to provide proof of vaccination if they want to go to a game? Why do they have to bother me, someone who is young (29 going on 29!), healthy (I work out now, pretty g), and not sick (no diabetes, what with not being a fat slob and all that)?  Have they even thought about this? Do you think the people who run the Flames are even capable of thinking? I question it.

So, yeah, 24th? 24th in fan confidence in the front office? How the fuck did they get ranked so high?

How about this: Go trade for Eichel, and then we can talk about getting the vaccine to see the team. Otherwise, I guess I'm going to miss out watching the race for 10th place live, as I'll be sending all my tickets to charity this year. Poor kids.