Thursday, September 9, 2021

Is My New Flames Customer Rep Hot?

Listen, I know the Flames have had a terrible, horrible, no good offseason, and we all have questions. Like, are the Flames really selling tickets this season? Do they expect the fans to enjoy the fact they are returning a non playoff team but minus a former Norris winner? Do they think the fans will like the fact they are bringing a worse team back? I know, I know.

But there is something more important to discuss, yes more important that "Why had Brad not been able to trade Monahan for 3 years in a row?" or "Why won't he go out and get an impact centre for this team? or "Why is Brad so weird looking? What's up with his eyes? Is he like a predatory bird wearing a man suit?" 

That question is, obviously, is my new Flames rep (us fancy season ticket holders get reps, cry more plebs) hot?

In her intro email she has a name and a brief bio. The name isn't important for 'is she hot or not', but some of the bio is. She goes to Mount Royal for a fake degree (Health and Physical Education...lmao they need gym teachers to have degrees I'm fucking dying). Some of you correctly subtract hotness points for university education, so I am sharing that info. 

Anyway...she appears to be under 30 but honestly it is a close call. I'd guess 25 or older, under 30. 

I'd say she is cute. So she's at least a 6. She's maybe a 7 in real life? She's on the threshold of hot. But who knows, if she's like a 6 foot tall ogre that would obviously change the equation. Honestly I'd need to see her chest and ass to make a proper determination. 

Exit question: My lawyer says I need a class action lawsuit to have an effective chance at suing the Flames over the mandate. Worth an ad in the paper? 


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