Thursday, July 19, 2018

Calgary Flames Rumour: John Gilles Caught Out With...

In the aftermath of signing a new two year deal with the Calgary Flames, John Gilles was caught out on the town celebrating his new deal with...a cell phone holster.

Yes, the talented six foot six Providence product was seen brandishing a brown leather cell phone holster on his hip, in 2018. It had beige stitching, according to witnesses at the scene.

No word yet on what cell phone Gilles' was using. There is rampant speculation it was an Iphone 5.

Domebeers.com has reached out to Gilles representatives to confirm if in fact he was wearing a cell phone holster. They have not replied as of yet. We will update the story as soon as new information is available.

This isn't the first time Gilles has been the centre of controversy. In 2016, Gilles was reportdely spotted singing an Alanis Morissette song at a karaoke bar.

Furthermore, I think Derek Wills should be fired.





Monday, July 16, 2018

Stampede Stories

I don`t have twittah no mo so I gotta puke out on this page.

Stampede time in the city. Oh boy. Did your std apps blow up? Mine did. Well, some of mine. Tinder was absolutely dead for me. On bumble I had 15 matches this week (that's a lot for me). 0 tinder, 15 bumble. Girls who didn't match me on tinder matched me on bumble Makes no sense to me, but it is what it is. I had about 5 from plenty of fish, but those are iffy. I only got one on OKCupid, and I think that's all I'm on. I did have a chick send me a 2 am message on instagram. That was nice.

Anyways...I had been drying up in June, so this bump in July was timely. I had one girl going into July, and I met her late June. I have ended up hooking up with her and two more girls in midpoint July. All Asians. Korean, Chinese, Taiwanese. I can never get what I want, a Japanese. Whatever. I don't even want a Japanese chick anymore. I'm sick of Asians. Almost all the girls I've bedded in 2018 have been Asians. I used to wish for Asians. I had an Asian fetish. Well, be careful what you wish for because you might end up only banging Asians for year.

(As an aside, the other girl you guys know I love are hindu's, and I don't know if they turned the Elbow into the Ganges but it seemed like there were a ton of hindu chicks there. Like, one third of the girls were white, one third asian, one third were hindus. I was sorta in heaven, but of course I was at the Stampede with girls I was trying to bang or currently banging, and I didn't have the time, game, or energy to try to pick another one up with one hanging off my arm. Curses.)

Why am I bringing this up? Well, be patient and I will tell you. On the second trip to the Stampede, I was with a girl. I had not banged this one yet, and it was our first date, so I was doing kino escalation and all that stuff, and we were being cute and huggy as a couple (yes I would end up banging her on our first date I'm sorta good at that). Of course, what happens? You probably guessed. Another one of the girls I am 'dating' was there with her friends (fucking slut!) and saw me, I think. I say I think she saw me because she knows where I live and what car I drive and the next day I woke up to this:






The only car on my block to have a smashed window just happened to be mine. What a coincidence. Now, it may have been a bum trying to get my change, but I think it was the girl because she had texted me some sweet and innocent things that night/morning. I guess I should be flattered. I'm just glad she didn't get the Challenger.

The other thing that happened was that a girl drove down from edmonton to see me, and we were supposed to meet at the Big 4, but when I saw her I didn't think she looked like she had advertised on the std apps so I didn't even say hi. Abundance mindset and all that. She was texting me updates all night about the guys she was dancing with, so I think she was pissed I 'missed' her.

I think I might give up girls for a month. Draining my chi, mang.

I stalk the Instagram page of the hindu girl I still dream about and she posted a pic of her at Stampede with her girlfriends and I was going to DM her with like "hey if you needed a date smiley face" but my homie grabbed my phone and stopped me. It was probably for the best. I need a new hindu though. Driving me crazy. Or a white girl would be nice. One can dream.

Softball team is 7-3. I think this is the year we win the league. Everyone pray for it to happen. Also my summer league hockey team is like 9-2. If we don`t win the `cup` in that I may quit sports forever. I`ll end up getting second place in both those leagues like I always do.

Furthermore I think Derek Wills should be fired.