Saturday, March 24, 2018

Poor Girl

I got her number at the dog park. I go everyday. I leave my dog at my parents when I go to work, and pick her up after I get off. And then we head to the park. I have two I usually go to. They are situated on either side of the valley. Sandy Beach and 15A. Rich people parks. Women are there, wives of rich men, accomplished in their own right. They don't marry down, you know? Sometimes there is a nanny there. You're cute, but I have a boyfriend.

Of the two, there are more normal people at 15A. Last time I was at Sandy Beach there was a rich man there talking about how the rich school he sent his daughter too was accusing him of touching his daughter. That's rich, I thought. At 15A I've seen people break up or talk about how they hate their boss or some other mundane thing. Normal.

My dog is a GSP. She's black and speckled. She should be brown. She's a mix of a GSP and a Musterlander. She's a mutt. Like me. I only ever get mutts. She's the first dog I didn't get from a rescue, and sometimes I feel bad about it. When I went to the pound all they had were pitbulls, and a dog that looked like my dead one. When I saw it I cried. There was a big rough biker looking guy there and he put his arm around me and said it would be ok. No homo.

She's very independent at the park. She runs around and goes 100 yards away from me and all the way back. She plays with all the dogs and tries to climb trees to get to birds. She pulls sticks off of trees and runs around and plays. She is joy personified. I like watching her at the park.

Is she field trained? I turn to look and I'm surprised. A cute face is asking me. She's wearing a white toque and she has big black prescription glasses on. She has brown skin, not like an arab or sri lanka though, like it's tanned. But it's not a tan. Maybe she's Mexican. She's shorter than me, and her eyes shine with a sweetness. Fuck me. Just my type. I don't even look at her body other than a quick check to see if she's fat. I can't tell, she is wearing a coat. She isn't obese though, and might even be skinny. I'm in trouble.

No. Just train her myself, and I never train her. She's a natural, you know? Like me. I say that with a smile. Back off, man. If you like them they don't like you. So I stop smiling and keep walking. She keeps walking too. Fuck.

I talk to her. Can use the practice. Ric Flair said he still flirts and he's fucked ten thousand of them. If he goes through the motions so should I. I ask her about her dog. She asks about mine. Where'd I get her? Pure bred? Mutts are better, anyways. Maybe she is a mutt, like me.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Flames Suck

This girl. At this point it's pathetic. But she has my brain wormed. And it's not like I'm not seeing other girls. And it isn't like I'm also not seeing other girls. You know what I mean? But whatever. I'm sick of the topic. Let me write something about the Flames that you already know.

They suck.

That's it. No analysis. No stats or anything fancy. I'm a season ticket holder. I have to go sit in my shitty seats and watch this shitty team and drink in the shitty Dome atmosphere, potentially, 41 times a year. I think I went to 20 games, max, this year. It's probably lower. Fuck this shit. Losing sucks.

When you lose more games at home than you win, what is the fucking point of the ticket? I'm not going to not renew, but holy shit did this season kill something in my fandom. Hyping this team like it was something special and then having them basically quit on the season for large portions of's not good. It's not cute. It's fucking bullshit, is what it is.

Obviously the coaching staff should get fired. People who try to fiddle with that should be ridiculed harshly. Who gives a fuck. The team, pretending they were in must win games, has not shown up to play. That's them not giving a fuck about the coach. They don't give a fuck about the coach because the coach doesn't publicly embarrass them. It's as simple as that. Don't you people fucking get it?

The players are shit, too. The C should be stripped off of Gio's sweater. The only guy who comes off as giving a shit is the very young Mr. Tkachuk, or however you spell that kids name. Good player. One of the only likeable players on the team, from a fan perspective. Give him the C. Mr. John Hockey also has some passion. Put an A on his sweater if he doesn't already have one. The other A can go to Gio. Anyone but Brouwer. Fuck these guys.

And how do you fix Brouwer? I'd play him with 13. That way you will at least get some production out of him. Who else could you stick him with that could lift him up? Monahan (is that how you spell his name? I don't even remember he is so invisible)? Yeah fucking right. 23 should be split from 13 anyways. If the kid is a player, let him play on his own. I'd trade him. There, I said it.

13+39. 23+19. 11+whatever number frolik is. 77+93. That's how I'd make the lines. Then you slot the remaining guys into the remaining slots. 13+39 might not work because they don't have a centre. Sign Tavares.

They should buy 39 out anyways. That's the real truth. Is this team committed to winning or not? If it was committed to winning they would gas the coaching staff, sign a coach with a name, and buyout Brouwer. Will they do that? Is anybody holding their breath?

The defence sucks. 27 has grown on me, I'd keep him. I like 5. Brodie and Hamonic and the rest of them are all hot garbage. I keep hearing we have a prosect or two on the farm that plays D. Why not trade Brodie and Hamonic (Harmonic? What is his fucking name? Travis?) and play these kid prospects. Free up cap space for Tavares. Or Kane. Or Karlsson. That's what I'd do.

In short, this team is fucked. But it's salvageable. It needs a new wardrobe though. Badly.

And fire the in game entertainment people. This shit has been boring and stale for the four years I have owned  season tickets.  

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Booty and at Tax Time?

Fuck. You ever have a piece of ass you just can't forget? Like, you dream about it? You close your eyes and it floats into your consciousness? Every dip and wrinkle or whatever it had? I got it bad, a real bad case of the booty dreams. It's all I think about, and I have other stuff to think about.

It drives me crazy. And at tax time, too. Tax time is the worst. You have other, normal shit you have to get done, the corporate tax shit, and then I have an influx of about 600 personal tax clients, and they all bug you for this or that and you can't tell them it isn't important, you have to take it all very seriously. They drop off all their shit and then call and call and call to get you to do it and then you file and then they tell you they had other shit to drop off why did you file and you just want to choke them but you can't. And then you close your eyes and you see the booty.

God, I can still smell the girls hair. Fucking torture. You always fall for the ones who want nothing to do with you when they turn on you. That's like God's favourite prank. And the real truth is the only reason you want the girl isn't because of love or any of that shit. Not even for the booty, well, not entirely. No, you want the girl because she doesn't want you. You only want the girl because she's back fucking her long term boyfriend. If she was fucking you, you wouldn't want her anymore. Well, the last part is what I tell myself. I'd probably be fine with her if she was still fucking me. Although I'm sure I'd find another reason to complain.

Tax time drives you crazy. Girls drive you crazy. You are suppose to be Buddha and detach, I know. You aren't suppose to get your happiness from work or from girls. It's good advice if you can work the trick. I fake it like I'm like that to the outside world. Myself, I can't lie to myself, not very well.

I don't even miss her. I miss choking her and spitting in her mouth and the look on her face when I'd shove my cock in her. I miss pulling her hair and how she tastes and I miss leaving hand prints in her ass. But I don't miss her. She was annoying. Why'd she have to be cute?

And at tax time, too. Crazy.