Thursday, August 16, 2018

A Girl Texted Me As A Wrong Number And Now I'm Sleeping With Her

She's 22 and still lives with her parents. Crazy world out there, ya'll.

Best part? She isn't Asian. A white girl. Manna from heaven. God loves us and wants us to be happy.

I get this text from a random number, and I can't remember what I said and I'm too lazy to look, it was something like 'wrong number, are you a chick though? And are you cute?" and from that we flirted and then I had her out to a softball game (that I didn't play in because my hand is mangled) and then from there she came over and...I have really good closing percentage.

The hindu girl I'm still madly in lust with actually sent me a text this week too.

My father recently asked me why I bought a Challenger instead of renovating my kitchen. Well Pops, this is why.

Furthermore, I think Derek Wills should be fired.

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