I hate tax time. I hate it. Kills my soul.
I'm sitting on hold with CRA. They keep you on hold because 1) they hate fucking tax time too and 2) they want everyone to use the online shit so you stop fucking calling. Thing is the online portal doesn't have all the information and 'tools' that a phone call has. Sometimes you have to call. And they hate that, so they make you wait. And wait you do.
The music changes. The hold music, I mean. Sometimes it is classical and sometimes it is modern. Today it is modern, I think. Like elevator music version of pop 40. I don't listen to new music unless I take a young girl out and then have to. I just don't like it. Get off my lawn, and all that.
Seriously though, rap today is dudes talking about how they got the sadz. What is that shit? Rap used to be about fucking a basketball players girl and then robbing him when he got home.
Anyways, I'm sitting on hold, and I hate my work. So I use it as a break. I log onto twitter but I don't see anything there that is holding my interest. Favourite a few thots and move on. I log on to kijiji, and because I miss that stupid fucking girl, I click around on community. She lied about being into volunteering (she went once and made it out like she was Momma Terresa), so I notice the volunteering link. Clients tell me it's a good place to meet women. So I click.
I'm expecting to see wanted ads or something. Please help with the puppy parade, or help out at a soup kitchen, or whatever it is people do when they volunteer. I guess I was expecting normal. You and I have been around long enough to know that no one is fucking normal, not anymore. What was I thinking?
Instead of 'help out at the old folks home' I see "female models needed". Fuck, why didn't I think of that? I don't click because I'm mad I didn't think the scam. I keep scrolling, which was a mistake.
"I have a large family and I just lost my job and I need someone to pay for dogfood."
"My Mom is dying from cancer and she's stuck without running water or heat at a farm in the middle of nowhere and can someone send money?"
"My daughter and I are really hungry. We have nothing, and nothing to eat. Please, can someone help us?" (I have a soft heart. I assume these are all scams, but that one fucking got me)
"Can anybody help? I'm a single mom with three kids and no job and easter is coming up..."
"Single father of seven needs help..."
"I'm a newly divorced mom of three, can anybody pay for my vacation?"
"Volunteer needed to pack my stuff as I am moving" - What? What is wrong with people?
"My diabetic dog is going to die please send money"
"Wanted: Free furniture"
I get to the third page of this stuff. And then I see it.
"Volunteer to help children in India"
"Volunteer to build houses in Nepal"
"Volunteer to teach english in Ghana"
"Volunteer to _____ in _______"
God...Is it bad that that looks so appealing?
Click to the next page. "Old man willing to spend time with young women and teach them to drive"