Friday, February 27, 2015

The Best Player On The Team Gets Hurt And Nobody Knows What Is Hurt In A Media Market Of One Million People

Giordano gets hurt. On February 25.

Nobody knows what is hurt on him.

Fine.

It's February 27.

Still nobody knows what is hurt.

Huh?

Look, I think I get it. They don't want to say anything so close to the trade deadline. Why? I don't get that part. They must assume that news of Gio going down is going to increase the price of adding a player. Or because the season is now lost maybe they think it turns the third rounder they were going to get for Glencross into a fourth rounder.

But fuck that shit. This team should not be adding, anyways. And if we are moving Glencross just to do the guy a favour, who cares about the return?

So it's a bit maddening to me. I don't get it. Worse, I'm a paying customer, a season ticket holder. And I feel the team is deliberately keeping me in the dark about something which pisses me off. (I mean, keeping me in the dark about something beyond the scope of things all teams keep their fans in the dark about).

The only other thing I can think of is that Gio is hurt but he might be able to play through the injury the rest of the year before seeking treatment in the offseason, so they don't want the league to know what body part is hurt so no one destroys it during play. But if that's the case why not just go with upper/lower body injury and go on.


I just hope the dude isn't pregnant.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

This Post Is An Excuse To Post A Picture Of An Attractive Woman Below The Break Line

I mean, she's pretty mean. You'll understand.

What is actually going on? Nothing.

Oh, GIO DIED!

Well, not really. Some hitler named Steve Bernier attacked Gio maliciously with one second left in the game and now Gio doesn't have a knee anymore.

It's fucking horrible.

Oh well. Guess we can't trade him anymore. Darn. We could have gone to 'Nam with all the draft picks he would have gotten us.

And Ortio got hurt so we can't trade Ramo.

And Glencross is worth a third round pick.

Sigh...Two more years until this team is even close to being good, I guess.

***

Softball update.

I could field two teams. I got over twenty responses.

As I've been saying on twitter, I can convince women to play softball with me, I can't convince woman to play with my soft balls.

Life just aignt fair.

***

Nik Lewis is the best and I will miss him immensely.

Stamps should retire his number, obviously.

Nenshi should declare a day "Nik Lewis Day"

That is all.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Softball Crash

This is kinda funny in a "you're so sad, DB" type of way.

All the girls on my softball team quit on me over the offseason. It was hilarious!

One died. Died! Well that's not true. One died the year before. This year, one just went MIA and no one has seen her since and her mom calls us sometimes to ask us if anybody has seen here.

One got divorced because she slept with a guy on our team and her husband didn't like that very much. And then she got mad about having to get divorced and blamed us. Which makes sense, totally. So she's gone.

One quit because one of the guys on the team, who was subsequently cut because of it, made a comment about her being fat. You see, she was fat, and then we met her, and she got skinny. But chicks who were fat never forget. So this guy reminded her she used to be a fatty in a moment of high stress (she was at bat in a tie game late). "Hit a homerun, fatty" or something is what he said. She walked off the plate, slapped the guy, and left. Haven't seen her since.

One got into the needle and the damage done. I mean, I know I can be abrasive but...

And then one got married and is having kids and is all grown up now.

So we had no girls and the softball team was dead. But I have nothing to do ever, so I was like "you know we should have a team so I can get out of the house at least once a week." And so I began my journey to recruit strangers.

Within 12 hours I recruited 5 girls. Pubs and internet, basically.

I cannot get a date. Try as I might, I cannot close. But I can, it turns out, convince 5 strangers to play with my softball team.

And I had a big bushy moustache at the time I was recruiting. So I looked like a pedo. It's fucking nuts, my luck.

***

Jew Hockey season is ending. I got 9 points in 20 games. Yes, I suck.

But I cannot recommend the sport enough. I never played when I was a kid, and only picked it up in my mid-twenties. But it is fun. It's probably the most fun I have playing sports. I mean, my first love is basketball, because I've always played that, and am a short Jew, and short Jews have a bit of a love affair with the sport, because we cannot dunk, yet all we want is to be able to dunk. It's like dating a non-Jewish chick. And I'm not saying basketball isn't fun, because it is. But hockey is fuuuun.

You fly on the ice. That's the most succinct way to put it.

So if you are looking to get active in the winter, take up hockey. Or shinny, down at the ODR. If you have never played, it will take about a year before you get your sea legs under you, but you will have fun the whole time.

***

I post something about how the Flames are fated to win and boom guess what happens? We get booted out of a playoff spot.

My own take on it is this: It's year two of a rebuild. We should be looking to win around year four or five. That means there is still plenty of time to build organizational depth. No need to trade players to take a shot at eighth place this year.

In English: Don't pay big prices to get established NHLers. There is no need. The target win date is two years down the road. If a guy is purchasable on the cheap, then fine, go ahead. But the team should not be reaching up when it comes to acquiring guys. It should be reaching down (To use the old stock buying analogy).

I would totally be happy with Kessel. Bennett will need someone to play with. But if we take Kessel's full salary on, we shouldn't have to pay the Leafs much to get him. Just my thoughts.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


Tuesday, February 24, 2015

We Play The Rangers Tonight. I Have Nothing To Say Other Than I Am Nervous.

Really nervous. This team, I think, needs to add a forward who can really play, and at least one (i'd like more) defenceman who can actually play.

I also do not want them trading assets in year two of the rebuild to get that shit, unless it's top shelf.

So I am nervous that the GM, trying to look good and keep the good feelings going, is going to trade shit away we could use in rebuild year four, for a shot at making eighth place this year.

Because I am nervous I am going to be posting a picture of a really cute girl with really cute hair below the break line. Yes, I said really cute hair. Fuck you if you have a problem with that.

***

Don't trade Backlund. It's stupid.

Furthermore I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

Monday, February 23, 2015

The Chick Below The Break Line Is Eating A Nectarine

I went to bed with an idea to write something and I woke up and poof it's gone.

So in an effort to refresh the brain I hit up nhl.com to look at the standings. Oh shit. Bad move.

I'm not too sure if we will make the playoffs. I mean, destiny and fate notwithstanding, it's looking pretty grim. I think all the eight teams ahead of us, well, are better than us.

It's been a fun ride. I'm sure it's going to be good for the season ticket drive. But I think it could be coming to an end, and the end is going to be accompanied by angry keyboard strokes all across twitter.

It's going to be unpleasant. I don't want to write the post again, but people have internalized the success and are going to be mad when the Flames 'fall' out of a playoff spot they are very lucky to occupy in the first place.

So we have to look forward to posts about "Did you know X player really sucks???" the whole summer. What I like to call "Did you know water is wet??" posts, and they will be written with the furious conviction of someone who thinks they have discovered a hidden truth and needs, needs!, to proselytize to us misguided rube.

Looking forward to it.

***

We opened the season up on a six game road trip, I recall. And that was supposed to be the death of the season. And we went 4-2 (I think. I'm not checking, fuck you). So Fate is still very much in play, if you ask me thank you very much.

***

Nails:

" Coun. Evan Woolley argues that the art budget is important to Calgary, because “what kind of high-tech company will want to come to an ugly city?” Um, how about one that wants to live where there hasn’t been a 13.1 per cent property tax increase? "

How about this: They city solicits the rich socialites in this city to pay for the art the rich socialites in the city want?

IE: People 'donate' the art to the city. They get a memorial and the good tummy, we get to not spend tax dollars on something trivial.

And even crazier, how about we don't use the funds saved for other outlandish and wasteful public spending? How about, and don't faint here, we use that money to offset taxes?

Fucking bananapants crazy, I know.

***

Can I have free money to offset my failing business? My failing business is super special and in no way like any other business out there. What I sell is super important, notwithstanding the fact no one wants to buy it.

The other story like this to happen lately was that FFWeekly was shutting down. I thought the stories about that were laughable. The magazine that everyone loves and has huge readership needs to shut down because they can't find anybody who wants to advertise in it. Right. Makes sense.

If the guy who runs FFWeekly is anything like the businessmen I know, then I have to believe he played with other distribution solutions before shutting it down. Could he not have charged even a dollar an issue? Apparently not. You couldn't give this magazine away for free, and nobody, apparently, wanted to pay for it, either.

My two cents? FFWeekly went way, way to the left, to the point where it was appealing to a demographic that is very, very small. On top of that, the writers they employed were not very good, so they couldn't keep people who weren't into radical culture engaged.

Is there a place for a magazine about local art, music, culture, etc.? I bet there is. But it needs to be well written, and it needs to be more mainstream and not so obsessed with marginal ideologies like queer culture.

***

I'm not the Wildrose leader yet, but I shit you not they reached out to my brother about him becoming treasurer in of one of the ridings. He's pretty dope so he said he wouldn't take the job until I was named leader.

You're move, Wildrose.

***

CAN WE TRADE FOR PHIL KESSEL ALREADY?

Take all the salary in exchange for not giving them anything good. Duh!

Dude gets like 300 shots a year he will be great with Bennett.

Furthermore I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.