Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Softball Crash

This is kinda funny in a "you're so sad, DB" type of way.

All the girls on my softball team quit on me over the offseason. It was hilarious!

One died. Died! Well that's not true. One died the year before. This year, one just went MIA and no one has seen her since and her mom calls us sometimes to ask us if anybody has seen here.

One got divorced because she slept with a guy on our team and her husband didn't like that very much. And then she got mad about having to get divorced and blamed us. Which makes sense, totally. So she's gone.

One quit because one of the guys on the team, who was subsequently cut because of it, made a comment about her being fat. You see, she was fat, and then we met her, and she got skinny. But chicks who were fat never forget. So this guy reminded her she used to be a fatty in a moment of high stress (she was at bat in a tie game late). "Hit a homerun, fatty" or something is what he said. She walked off the plate, slapped the guy, and left. Haven't seen her since.

One got into the needle and the damage done. I mean, I know I can be abrasive but...

And then one got married and is having kids and is all grown up now.

So we had no girls and the softball team was dead. But I have nothing to do ever, so I was like "you know we should have a team so I can get out of the house at least once a week." And so I began my journey to recruit strangers.

Within 12 hours I recruited 5 girls. Pubs and internet, basically.

I cannot get a date. Try as I might, I cannot close. But I can, it turns out, convince 5 strangers to play with my softball team.

And I had a big bushy moustache at the time I was recruiting. So I looked like a pedo. It's fucking nuts, my luck.

***

Jew Hockey season is ending. I got 9 points in 20 games. Yes, I suck.

But I cannot recommend the sport enough. I never played when I was a kid, and only picked it up in my mid-twenties. But it is fun. It's probably the most fun I have playing sports. I mean, my first love is basketball, because I've always played that, and am a short Jew, and short Jews have a bit of a love affair with the sport, because we cannot dunk, yet all we want is to be able to dunk. It's like dating a non-Jewish chick. And I'm not saying basketball isn't fun, because it is. But hockey is fuuuun.

You fly on the ice. That's the most succinct way to put it.

So if you are looking to get active in the winter, take up hockey. Or shinny, down at the ODR. If you have never played, it will take about a year before you get your sea legs under you, but you will have fun the whole time.

***

I post something about how the Flames are fated to win and boom guess what happens? We get booted out of a playoff spot.

My own take on it is this: It's year two of a rebuild. We should be looking to win around year four or five. That means there is still plenty of time to build organizational depth. No need to trade players to take a shot at eighth place this year.

In English: Don't pay big prices to get established NHLers. There is no need. The target win date is two years down the road. If a guy is purchasable on the cheap, then fine, go ahead. But the team should not be reaching up when it comes to acquiring guys. It should be reaching down (To use the old stock buying analogy).

I would totally be happy with Kessel. Bennett will need someone to play with. But if we take Kessel's full salary on, we shouldn't have to pay the Leafs much to get him. Just my thoughts.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


 
Barbie girl.

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