Friday, January 6, 2012

Pre-Rant

***Update***

They did indeed end up assigning Ivanans to the AHL. As it happened after the club made that blockbuster of a trade earlier in the day, we can only assumed that King read our post and then got a clue.

***Update Over***

From a Sportak article:

"Ivanans is ecstatic to be back in the NHL. “You can’t really explain it. It’s feels great. You realize how much you take it for granted when you’re here,” Ivanans said. “And then when you’re down and come back, you just want to grab it and never let it go.” "

To us, this illustrates the problem nicely. Ivanans is in the NHL for one reason: He is a big guy who fights. That is his only skill. His only one. This one skill scrub is brought back to the NHL for one reason: To fight.
That is Ivanans job. That is the only reason he would be on a roster.
Ivanans was brought up and put in the roster yesterday for one reason, to fight. This isn't a discussion about whether Ivanans fighting would have affected the game. This isn't a debate on enforcers. This is a observation on the Flames.

Ivanans was brought up to fight. The Flames got jumped in the first 5 minutes of the game. Ivanans should have fought then. He didn't. And what happened? He got more ice time.

To us, it's the perfect illustration. Nobody on this team is held accountable for doing their job. Not the managers, the coaches, or the players. Ivanans doesn't fight, and still has a spot in the NHL. Ken King approves a bunch of dumb trade ideas from both Darryl Sutter and Jay Feaster, and he keeps his job. Brent Sutter has been whining about how the players don't listen to him since the first day he got here. Still has a job.

Noticing a pattern?

The problem with the Calgary Flames is they are all hat and no cattle. Read that quote again: "And then when you’re down and come back, you just want to grab it and never let it go.” Are you fucking kidding me? Ivanans, who professes to want to 'grab it and never let it go' didn't fight. And the next day, he wasn't sent down to the AHL.

This is an old team, an unskilled team, a slow team, a soft team, a stupid team. They are also a complacent team. And it's the complacency that is most grating.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Check The Technique

During the January 3, 2012 game against the Washington Capitals, with his team behind by two goals, Rene Bourque illegally threw his elbow to the head of Nicklas Backstrom:



While we can understand why Bourque may have been frustrated, having been held to a single shot on goal, despite over four minutes of power play time (Although, to be fair, the Washington Capitals are known throughout the league for their ability to play stifling defence), there is still absolutely no excuse at all for that elbow Bourque threw. None, whatsoever. Rene Bourque is a paid professional, and sloppy elbow technique from him should not be tolerated.

Obviously, Brendan Shanahan, NHL head disciplinarian agrees, which is why he slapped Bourque with a five game suspension.

The NHL is trying to build a brand. It isn't going to let halfhearted efforts like that on the part of Bourque make it look like a joke league. This isn't even the first time with him. In fact, not more than three weeks ago Bourque was suspended for his soft and lackadaisical efforts against Brent Seabrook.

For whatever reason, it appears that left to his own devices, Rene Bourque is simply not going to improve this particular on-ice skill. We here at Dome Beers are possessed of a fundamentally Pollyanna-ish worldview. As such, we assume the problem in this situation to be one of knowledge; Rene can't go if Rene don't know.

To that end, allow us to help. After all, in the quest for 82 points, having Rene Bourque in the lineup certainly helps.

To begin with, we think that we should put up a mirror to the situation, in an effort to illuminate Bourque on what exactly the problem is. He may simply be too close to the situation to even perceive the problems.



You see? While it was a cool move, it was done slowly, deliberately, clumsily, and with telegraphed intent. That sloppy technique is simply unacceptable in a top flight league like the NHL, and especially on a top flight team like the Calgary Flames.

Bourque's illegal elbow did come at the end of his shift, so he may have been tired. That is no excuse.



As you can clearly see, though exhausted, Shawn Michaels maintains his good elbow technique all the way through the move. Bourque would do well to notice the follow through on the finish; the finish on Bourque's elbow was what most people, Shanahan included, had a problem with.

Some have speculated that the problem was not one of fatigue, but of poise. Being placed, through flow of the game, in a position to check the leading scorer on the Washington Capitals, perhaps Bourque simply panicked. Again, not an excuse. Here, watch as Shane O Mac demonstrates that no matter the circumstance, one has to be professional about these things.



Notice the calm, cool demeanor exuded by Mr. O Mac, in the face of quite extreme conditions. Notice how he does not panic and lose his head. Notice how he seems to get calmer as the moment of truth approaches. Notice how he finishes with character and conviction.

One final suggestion that has been made is that Bourque was unable to avoid throwing such a poor elbow because in the moment he was reaching to scratch an itch on his nose, he was teleported via trans-dimensional cosmic rift into a realm where everyone was a plastic toy. Once again, not an excuse.



Plain as day, Rene. Even when experiencing inter-dimensional physical disruptions, one can clearly see that it is indeed still possible to deliver an elbow with proper technique: 1) Don't be a Stajan; Climb to the top turnbuckle. 2) Flamboyantly motion to the crowd. 3) Leap and 4) Finish. Like you mean it, G'ddammit!

And again, circumstances should not matter. Home or on the road, it's all about the technique.



By following the above advice, Rene Bourque, should he choose to be a good student and study, should be delivering proper elbows in no time at all. And now that he has five days off from playing hockey, he really has no excuse for not hitting the books. In no time at all, Rene Bourque should be able to go from Big Show clumsy, to Macho Man confident.



Snap into a Slim Jim!

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.

Quick Joke About Bourque Elbowing Backstrom

Holy shit!



The Warriors are going to get Nate Robinson!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

No Post Continues

Yeah... it's because the team is going to be blah from now till trade deadline day.

Firing Ken King would get us interested again in a hurry.

Ok. We will probably do a post after the halfway mark. So tomorrow or the next day, we guess.

Stay sexy.