Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The One Where I Break Kayfabe

This is a niche post for a certain sub-demo of my audience. You know who you are.

I'm breaking kayfabe here. So if you don't like when I break kayfabe, skip reading this one.




Alright. I make fun of the media personalities in this city. I do that a lot. You wanna know why?

There are a lot of reasons. Sometimes they deserve it because they write ridiculous things. Eric Francis, right? And sometimes I do it because I know, or at least think I do, how to ask questions in certain ways to get particular answers, and when I see the media do that, I like to call them out on it. Sometimes I do it because I think the direction of their coverage is going the wrong way. I also do it when I sense they are being advocates to a position that I do not agree with. Sometimes I do it because I am bored, and if they are what is causing me to be bored, well, I go asshole. This is not an exhaustive list, but I think you get the point.


If I came on this site and wrote about how my buddy Jon had this ridiculous idea about how the Flames should sign Jokinen to a five year extension, and then went on to argue against my buddy Jon's bad opinion...a) nobody knows who the fuck my buddy Jon is, and b) nobody would care. See point 'a'.

Think of it this way: If George Johnson wrote article after article about a blog called 'Dome Beers' his editors would say: Who the fuck is that? And why should anybody care? 

This website is a niche interest website. That niche is the Calgary Flames. Therefore, if you work for the FAN960, QR77, Calgary Sun, Calgary Herald, or SNET and you cover the Flames, or people who watch the Flames know who you are, you are therefore eligible to be used as a foil.

It's not personal; I haven't met the people who work for these media outlets. How could I hate people I have never met? And believe me, I understand there are pressures that the media have to operate under, and threats to access are very real things, especially in this market (Editors note: if you don't know why threats to access in this market is a real thing, why are you even reading this blog?), and can affect a persons livelihood in a very real way.

At the end of the day, I view myself as a Marat, and Dome Beers as a pamphlet. Therefore, I have to call people out on pom-pom waiving EVEN IF I SUSPECT THAT PERSON DOESN'T REALLY BELIEVE WHAT THEY ARE SAYING.

Look, there is a reason why I am 'anonymous'. Ken King is an extremely powerful man, and I'd like to be able to work in and show my face in polite company in Calgary one day. I understand how he has co-opted the media into another arm with which to sell tickets. I get how the media might be harangued into publishing news King can use to sell tickets, and not news the fans can use to evaluate how the team is being run.

But I have to call the media out. I didn't gain an audience by trying to worm my way into the establishment. When I write that I don't want a job covering the Flames, it really is true. I'm not after anything else than, as corny as this sounds, speaking truth to power. I gained an audience, however meager, because I seek, in between the sophomoric, hackish attempts at being a comedian, the truth.  The Truth.

Media is powerful. They can shape the opinions of the people who don't pay attention all that close, and the majority don't. They can make illegitimate opinion legitimate, and vice versa. So when I see the media using that power for what I view as 'bad', ie: protecting the front office, covering for them and covering bad decisions, I have to use my meager voice for 'good'.

At the end of the day, when you boil it all down, this is what is left: I feel the media in this city does not speak truth to power. So I cajole. And I try to do it in a way that I think won't bore people; I talk like a sailor in real real life, (which is kinda sad because I have read enough books to have a large enough vocabulary not too), so I am going to write like a sailor and debate like a sailor, too. That is what that is about. People seem to like it.

During the French Revolution, there were hundreds of newspapers, but there were two in particular that mattered: The 'Friend of the People' and the 'Friend of the King'. I find that reference extremely appropriate. And I am firmly on the side of the people.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.


  1. What was the name of the mission statement Jerry Maguire wrote that got him fired?

    ..."The Things We Think And Do Not Say"... got him fired. Sometimes things need to be said for the greater good. The truth hurts.

  2. I completely agree with you, the print media and the Fan 960 morons are pretty much all shills for the organization who do not have the courage to state the truth about how horribly owned and managed this team has been basically forever. Since 89 getting past the first round exactly once and if Bertuzzi had not been suspended for the playoffs in 04 we would be 0 for 22 instead of 1 for 22. We have the worst playoff accomplishment record of any team in the NHL since 89. Anyway I love reading your blog, keep up the great work!

  3. I think it is entirely OK to hate Eric Francis even if you've never met him.

  4. I feel like this is the beginning of a long process that ends with you making a move on Odland

  5. I feel like this is the beginning of a long process that ends with you making a move on Odland

  6. As if I even pay enough attention to pick Olli out of a lineup.

  7. RT... Jarome for that pick?
    Then Kipper to CBJ for theirs. Draft the two russians, sign Semin, sign a Russian coach (this is the most important part). And lets play up and down hockey like the kids do.

    I'd also try to trade Bouw to MTL for their pick, but I dunno if they would do it. If they did, I'd try to trade the third for several picks down in the draft and see if I couldn't snag two more Russians.

    NBD, I dunno, Odlnad is MLB and I'm like single A, but you know what, sometimes single A'ers can make the Bigs. See the 2009 Cubs middle infield.

    DS, +1.

  8. I guess this is further to the last discussion about the media from a couple of weeks ago.

    Watching NHL media in action is quite funny. We had Canucks training camp in Kamloops twice while I worked there (one of the many reasons I hate the Canucks) and I was accredited for the all-star game and a handful of NHL games in Vancouver.

    I was there for the game Pavel Bure got jumped on for having Russian mob connections. I was only ever there to talk to former Blazers but I watched and I learned.

    Media behaves like five-year-olds playing soccer. Everyone on the field is on the same ball. Everyone on the field is afraid to do something different other than go after the same ball.

    The sports reporters, especially bad in the NHL, are afraid someone will get a story they don't have. So they follow each other around. In fact, I happen to know they share sources, tips, notes and quotes.

    There's little to no competition in the world of sports "journalism." It's a fraternity more than anything else.

    That's why you won't see too many people doing anything different. It's a club. And you don't want to get ostracized. Not by your team. Not by the league. Not by the guys who are in the next hotel room and you're lonely on the road and in need of a drink with a pal.

    Thanks a whole fucking lot for making me think of that stuff. I'm going to weep myself to sleep tonight.

    1. Funny about Bure and the mob. Various mobs have been involved with players for ages. I worked for a media company for a while and boy, you learn a lot about the Flames that never, ever makes the papers or even make it outside the inner circle. Turek was also a victim of the mob; they showed up at his door the day after his big contract signing.

  9. DB, Odland will be your Charlotte Corday.