Monday, January 30, 2012

Boredom

The All-Star game was boring. Fresh take!

The game itself, it is what it is. It is going to suck. Because there is no hitting, etc. No real need to explain that one.

But the skillz competition shouldn't be harder to watch than a typical Flames game. I shouldn't be falling asleep during it. I don't fall asleep during the NBA skillz competition. So what it do?

DB fixes the skillz comp because he isn't afraid of urban culture:

1) Ice Girls.

This one is so obvious the fact that it wasn't done is all the indication I need to know that the people running this shindig are in over their heads. There should have been an All-Star team of Ice Girls, and they should have been on the ice constantly. And by that, I mean so that whatever angle the idiot director uses, there should be an Ice Girl in it.

Moreover, there should have been  at least one hot girl on the ice interviewing the players between activities

 Why? So if I happen to be flipping through my channels, and I flip to one that has hotties on the TV, I am more likely to give pause and watch.

2) Real Events

If the people involved in the skillz competition don't take it seriously, how can the viewer at home be expected to? What do I mean by that? Well, why the hell are goalies in the fastest skater? Why are the goalies clowning it up during the shoot out? Why the hell did they have that ridicoulous shoot out to begin with?

It's stupid, and that's why it isn't taken seriously.

Fastest skater shouldn't have ten people competing in it, it should have six (two forwards and one defenceman). And the winner of the event should get money, say $5000, to give to a charity of his choice.That way, there is juice on the line, there should therefore be some competition, and doesn't take forever and make people hate it.

The NHL Breakaway Challenge is the NHL going full retard. This should be the dunk competition of the whole event, but because they run it with such a poor format, I'd gather this is the point where you knodded off.

The thing is, this is the worst event, and it is also the easiest to fix. Because we have the template. You get your X number of guys, I think they went with five guy from each team. Whatever. Then you get five guys to act as the judges. And do it like the NBA does it, use legends as judges. Orr never made any money playing the game, and there are a ton of guys like that. Pay them to show up and judge the shoot out. And then from there, you run it like the dunk contest. First round, you cut the guys who got the lowest, second round, more cuts, and then third round final between two players. Put some money on the line, again, winner gets $5000 for charity, get the goalies to take it seriously, and we have some fun viewing.

The elimination shoot out should be eliminated period. Having two shootouts lends to the perception that one is a complete and total joke. And, NHL, marketing hint: Even if it is a joke, you don't want to make it too obvious.

3) What The Fuck Are We Writing About The All-Star Game For

Fuuuuuuuuuuck. Who cares?

Feaster was quoted in the papers as saying the Orgs plan was to win now. So there you have it folks, that was the 'plan' that got Feaster the GM job: Desperately try to make 8th for because.

Furthermore I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.

1 comment:

  1. Until the owners bury Stajan & Badsuck in Abbottsford, then Feaster can keep his trap shut about "going for it" this year...Alberta has enough lawyer politicians feeding me crap on a daily basis.

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