Number one, because the Maple Leafs aren't very good. The NHL's undefeated team gave up 5 goals to the Ottawa Senators. The Leafs have also had a week off since the last time they played a game, and because they are the second youngest team in the league, that probably means they spent that week getting good and rusty. Oh, and Dion is a plus right now, and everything we know about statistics suggests that is simply an unsustainable thing for Dion in the long run. Might as well start reverting back to the mean in this game.
And holy shit, are those Leafs ever ugly. Like Rob Kerr ugly. Honestly, looking through their roster is like taking a walk through the paleolithic.
Holy shit, right? And some poor young puck bunny is going to have to endure that look tonight. Be brave hunny. Like Kessel's scoring streaks, it will end soon.
So this nice couple who just happened to be life long Chernobyl residents had a child...
(Alternative: Dion Phaneuf: This whole 'reading' thing is pretty tough)
What's that there toothy bursh thang there for, uch yup?
Kiss me, I'm Amish.
And Kessel is the worlds saddest motherfucking panda.
Seriously, thank the Lord for money, eh fuglies?
Furthermore, I think the Goal Song should be fired.