Monday, October 24, 2011

Stampeders Should Wear Red Helmets

There is a weird relationship between this city and Henry Burris. It's hard to fingerprint, but it is there. It manifests itself in ways that aren't hard to located: the calls to QR 770, the internet message boards, the chants at McMahon for the backup (although, to be fair, the backup did happen to be Drew Tate).

So what is it about Smilin' Hank? Is it the inconsistency (8 TDs against 7 INTs in the playoffs)? Is it the perceived selfishness of the player, as it pertains to on-field play ( anyone else catch his LT act on the sideline)? Is it the bra?

It's probably a combination of all these things to some, and none of these things to others. We happen to think it is the playoff losses in 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009, and 2010. And it isn't the losses, it's the fact that some of those teams, 2009 and 2010 especially, were expected to win Grey Cups.

We bring this up because Hank Burris fucked is out of tickets to Drew Tates coronation. For no good reason at all, other than to be selfish dick. And while we can't be that mad for losing something we never had in the first place, we still think we should call party foul.

@HenryBurris tweets out "First response to this wins 2 tickets at the 40 yard line." We are pretty sure we are the first to respond to Hank. We respond with a 'yo'. And then we wait. And wait...and wait. While waiting, Nik Lewis does the same thing, sends out a tweet about tickets, gets a response, and then gives the tickets away. This takes Nik Lewis 2 minutes.

An hour passes since we initially have responded to Hank, and nothing. At this point, we have pretty much ruined any chances of getting tickets by tweeting junk to him, stuff like "We are sure he sent the tickets, they probably just got intercepted."

Still, nothing. Nothing at all is coming out of @HenryBurris. And nothing will; the next tweet out of Burris comes after the game, congratulating Drew Tate. None of the tweets that have followed have mentioned the tickets.

We think we know what happened. But we also want to share why we are a little perturbed. It's not that we didn't get the tickets we should have. Again, we can't be angry over losing things we never had. However, that Burris didn't address the tickets at all is a little bush. He didn't have to give them to us, but if he is going to announce he is giving tickets away, he actually needs to give tickets away.


Here is what we think happened. Henry Burris knows who Drew Tate is. He knows better than us, the fans. So he needs to start hedging. We think Hank is tweeting about giving away tickets to create a cover story that allows him to then pocket the tickets he is 'giving away'. You know, to scalp. He could have also kept them as a collectible. Tickets to Drew Tate's coronation are going to be worth some cheese in the future.

Drew Tate side steps a D-linesman who has an open line to him, and then throws a fade away spiral for a touchdown. Sick as fuck.

Getting shut out at home is not how one goes about getting into the playoffs. Honestly, if we were inclined to believe in this team, we would talk about how this team has been generating scoring chances, at least lately, and that it is only a matter of time before they start going in.

But this team has won two games in October. We face Colorado, who has gone 6-0 on the road so far, and then we close out the month against the Blues, a team that has beaten us 5 - 2 already. We have seen this movie already. It ends with 10th place.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.