Monday, September 19, 2011

Weekend Reading

Looking through the local papers, saw some stories that we would like to highlight.

Brent Sutter Hearts Curtis Glencross

This little ditty, coming to us from Vicki Hall of the Herald, explores the budding 'Brokeback Mountain-esque' (you know...cowboys) relationship that is developing between the older, wiser, more experienced coach, and the young and pliant player. It's a hot, steamy read, (just a taste: the coach is quoted using the risque line "“He’s got little bit of farm boy in him. Not totally, but a little.” Brent Sutter is such a little flirt.) that will get you smiling for all the right reasons. Beyond the obvious physical connection the two share, the happy couple also enjoys just spending time together, just drinking in the moments where they can just be together (Glencross on the relationship: “We actually spent time building fence together and pounding posts for a couple of days.” Sexy.).

It's a very nice read about the flowering of a relationship. Until, that is, one comes upon the following quote from the coach: "I put him to work. Got his hands dirty. He has callouses on his hands.” Whoa. First off, that's a little too much information for the coach to be sharing with a purportedly family newspaper (and what does this say about the editors of the paper that they would print such tawdry language?). That's the type of thing that is best kept in the bedroom. But beyond the lack of class that uttering the line displays, it also highlights a dangerous character trait that the coach might have: Selfishness.

Yes, selfishness. While it may suit the purposes of the star struck lovers to go off into the fields together, alone with nothing but the throbbing masculinity of the bulls around them, and build fences together, it does not suit the long term goals of the Calgary Flames. Curtis Glencross is valuable to the franchise because he has soft hands! And here we have the coach of the team actively trying to put callouses on those million dollar mitts (probably to help with the grip on the pole...)!

It's not right, and it shouldn't be condoned. We need Glencross's hands as buttery soft as they possibly can be for the upcoming season, seeing as the teams margin for error is only a couple of points. As important as getting a good grip on Coach Sutter's pole may be, for the good of the team, Glencross's hands should remain soft and callous free.

Coach Sutter, next time you need your pole pounded, please, use Ivanans instead. He has bigger hands than Curtis, anyways.

We Never Talk Anymore

From a budding relationship, to one on the mend. From the files of Steve MacFarlane of the Sun, a story about a relationship that was once filled with so much promise, only to hit the rocks of reality, which is where the relationship lays today, waiting for a chance of redemption and resurrection.

Niklas Hagman and Coach Sutter didn't talk to each other during last year. Shocked at being involved in a trade that sent Hagman from the team he had signed a three contract with, the Maple Leafs, to a team on the other side of the continent, Hagman, and you can't really blame him for this, was a little down last year. And instead of finding solace in the arms of the coach, he found silence, and solitude.

Which, record scratch, is bothersome to us. From the article, we have this line: 'Those heartfelt discussions cleared the air between them all. The Flames found out what Hagman was going through as he struggled to find a role that fit, and Hagman understood what the Flames wanted from him.

“It was an eye-opening experience to talk with Brent and Jay. It’s something I should have done earlier,” Hagman said, not wanting to get into specifics of the conversations.'

And we know from what has been reported that the meetings that took place between Jay, Brent, and the players occurred once the season was over. Which is to say that the Calgary Flame organization didn't engage Hagman about his role on the team, expectations, the views that each party held about the other, until after the season was over.

When you lack communication like that, that is managements fault. The fact that the management on this team seems to be reactive rather than proactive is not a plus for them, in our minds.

Anyways, for whatever weird reason, the team and the player seem to be actually talking to each other now, which again, is weird, right? Why would you want to see how an employee ticks? Makes no sense at all...

(Also, if you read the article, it implies Hagman was fat. We already know that the front office thought Stajan was out of shape last year. Why the coach is not getting more flack for players showing up out of shape last year is beyond us.)

Harry Jay Feaster Tells A Joke

From Vicki Halls' book of assistant GM jokes:

"When we have to submit our opening night roster, we'll decide which 23 guys deserve to be there. If that ends up being someone we didn't expect to be there, we'll deal with it at that time." Quoteth Feaster.

Lolz. tells us the team has 22 one way contracts on the roster. Which makes Feaster's line a howler along the lines of 'depth at centre'. 

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.


  1. Well now that we know what B.Sutter does to his players in the off season, we know how Iggy got his bad back!

  2. C'mon now, do you know how hard it is to get good agricultural help these days? If Sutter had asked anyone else for a hand they would have wound up asking for a no move/free lunch clause. Glencross is old school western Canada. He showed up for work because that's what we do.

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