Thursday, September 22, 2011

Bio's Are Treasure Chests

So we are listening to the Rome show when this advertisement comes on. Hey, how are yeah doing? Anyways, we are listening to the Rome show, which airs on the FAN960, when this advertisement comes on. Now, the FAN being the FAN, the advert was, of course, for the FAN.

Bryn Griffiths?

Now, we admit we are squares, Domebeer-aholics. Who the hell is Bryn Griffiths? And just what the hell is a Bryn, anyways?

And so the google tells us he is a welsh poet. Nice, fucking nice. An Irish poet on a prairie sports radio station? This is going to be tits.

The advertisement doesn't end at his name, however. It goes on, and turns out it is being voiced by the Brynnacle himself. And, boy we tell yeah, he sounds like a fucking nerd.

Google has lied to us. Bryn Griffith is an Irish poet. Poets roll in pussy, otherwise no man would engage in the behaviour. And this man on the radio did not sound like he was rolling in pussy. Something was up. We don't like being lied too, google.

So more research then. Bloody fucking hell, this research shit is exhausting, we can totally see why Chris Jones doesn't do it. You have to scroll down the page and shit. Fucking annoying.

Eventually we find a link to something called 'Mighty Mouth'. Understandably, we are very hesitant to click the link. There are certain things, like '2 Girls 1 Cup' (sorry, no link), that once you see, you can't unsee. A website by the name of 'Mighty Mouth' may feature a midget trying to stuff a sack of pachyderm testicles into his mouth, for all we knew. But in life one must be brave, so we forged ahead into the unknown ether.

And boy where we disappointed. Instead of seeing a degenerate sex show, we see it's the end to our journey. 'Mighty Mouth' is a blog run by a Bryn Griffiths, who appears to be the same gentleman from that terrible advertisement we heard.

Hey, did you know the FAN lured this guy away from his job calling the horse races at Northlands Park? That Kelly Kirsch is a real scout. Or likes to play the ponies, one of the two.

Anyways, why are we talking about Bryn Griffiths? First, why the hell not, his name is Bryn, after all. There's probably mountains worth of material from a guy named Bryn waiting to be mined. Second, because we came across this little nugget that we think speaks to the core of the situation with the FAN960 (and their 'salesmen not journalists' approach to the local team).

Mind you, this is from Bryn's own 'About Me' from Bryn's own blog: "PLUS five years of NHL experience in the Public/Media Relations field with the Edmonton Oilers and Winnipeg Jets"

We are sure you can all see what we are getting at, but we will go ahead and spell it out anyways, just for fun. CAPITALS ARE THE SECRET TO BEING COOL. Haha, no. References to 'PLUS' aside, what Bryn just wrote was "I am a paid schill". Because that is what a PR guy does, he schills for whoever is paying him to be a PR guy.

(Also, before we move on, the FAN has a bio on Bryn that says "...has experience in both the broadcast booth and inside the locker room." Which is great. It's about high time we started referring to the horse stables at Northlands as a locker room. Horses are athletes, and all that.)

You know how a major complaint about the FAN960 is that they are a stale organization? One that moves slowly with the times, and isn't really known for being all that creative? Well, to the FAN's credit, this moves shows that the organization is indeed evolving.

Evolving? But they hired the same ol' bland white guy with dubious knowledge about sports outside of hockey, who may have that 'jock sniff' fever, to replace Rob Kerr. How is that evolving?

It shows growth on behalf of the FAN, Domebeer-aholics, because instead of hiring an amateur schill like they did with the Walker, Boomer, or Steinberg hirings, the FAN has stepped it's game up and gone out and hired a professional schill, one with "PLUS five years of NHL experience in the Public/Media Relations field with the Edmonton Oilers and Winnipeg Jets."

That's organizational character growth right there, is what that is.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.

5 comments:

  1. I don't mind Walker. Steinberg has good content if not the quintessential radio voice.

    Brynn is meh but given that it could have been Dan Tencer let's count our lucky stars.

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  2. You crazy RT. Walker has the voice, but his skin is thin, which makes him come off as a skirt wearer, which gets old. Also, arguments like "Player X is good because player X is good" that Walker usually makes dont float my boat. The cat couldnt defend trading Matt Stajan when pressed, for fucks sake, and that is the easiest argument to defend ever.

    I've been getting a lot of 'At least it isn't Tencer'. I dont see this argument. Your guy sucks but he doesnt suck as much as another guy you could have gotten? Well, ok, but the point remain the guy sucks. Dont hire people who suck, you know?

    (I will now add I have no idea if Bryn sucks, I have only heard him on the radio advert)

    But to go back to the point, the point isnt that Boomer Walker P Siz suck (which they may or may not), the point is that they are pom pomers, and the FAN hired another one, although this time one with experience, is all.

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  3. I don't always agree with what you've got to say, or the ferver with which you say it, but I do adamantley agree with your philosophy of not sitting quietly by while being fed bullshit.

    Rage on.

    Beeker.

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  4. He doesn't have a first name, its like a noise or a grunting sound.

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  5. I don't listen to the Fan often, but I did today, and BRYN GRIFFITHS (it really is fun to say) was on. You're right, he does sound like a nerd. Or Ray Romano.

    Holy Setoguchi was he ever lobbin' Feaster some softies though.

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