Monday, August 15, 2011

Ugh...So We Have To Talk About Scott Hannan?

Fuck no. Seriously. What the fuck?

Are we the only people who remember that Scott Hannan is a human screen? That when a forward is driving the puck at him, he has a tendency to skate backwards towards his goalie with his legs locked in an inverted 'v for victory', which simultaneously provides a nice screen for the shooter, and an opening to shoot the puck through?

Are we the only people who remember he is from San Jose? Seriously, what the fuck? The Flames have been suckers for prostitutes since they signed Todd Bertuzzi, and it has got to stop. We aren't winning the cup this year anyways, do we need to piss away the organizations integrity? Why not invite Naslund in for a camp tryout, you know?

Whatever. For a million dollars on a one year ticket, you can't really complain too much. We mean you could complain about how this probably implies there is no mega-trade coming that puts Weber in a Flames uniform, at least not this year, or how this move takes minutes away from a youngster in a 'tread-water' season, but that seems to be about it.

The best part of the deal, at least to us, is that the Flames management did not give the cat some boneheaded Babchukian NMC. Last year, Coach Sutter showed he was able to make players look better than they are by deploying them in roles they could handle (that Babchuks guy name comes to mind here again). Maybe something similar can occur here with Hannan, and the staff is able to juice his numbers for a pick or something at the deadline, and get the second back that the team lost in the Reggie trade.

So there is all that: Value signing, veteran presence, another Sarich on the blueline. Depth move. For a million dollars on a one year ticket, it's hard to complain. We don't think it makes the team any worse, the Reggie trade did that and we don't think this move fixes that, but it may make the team better than it was looking when Brodie and Butler were slotted to have to play minutes.

But the move highlights a couple of things we thought we should talk about. One, the Reggie trade was a disaster. The Phaneuf trade is universally pilloried, and it was pilloried because the team didn't get enough back for its asset. Well, we got even less back with the Reggie trade, but for some reason, King and Feaster seem to skate away from that one. Odd, eh? How the media will cover some transactions but not others? Maybe it speaks to how lonely the people covering this team are, that a simple 'hello' from Feaster can grease the wheels like that.

Anyways, there is that; the shitty trade that needs to get covered up by a scrap heap acquisition. It's a dice roll, for sure, but then, what's the worst that can happen, right? (Well, the worst that could happen is that Babchuk starts seeing top four minutes because of this...)

The more interesting angle to take, and we are surprised nobody has taken it, really, is what this says about the Calgary Flames.

Namely, is it too comfortable to play in Calgary?

From Vicki Hall's article on it, where she flat out says, and backs up with a quote, that Hannan chose to play here because of comfort factors:


Hannan and his wife Kristina have an 18-month-old son named Gage and a nine-year-old Doberman called Judah. The young family calls Kelowna home in the off-season. Make no mistake: geography had a part to play in the decision to head north.

“You always have that in the back of your head, being close to home, being close to family and friends in the place you grew up,” Hannan said. “It’s always in the back of your mind. It’s great to be able to play in Calgary. I’ve travelled a lot. I’ve played in that division a lot.”

(In fact, here is a fun game. Go to that article Hall wrote, and search for the word 'win'. It doesn't come up.)

Why did Glencross sign here (well, besides the ridiculous term and an even stupider NMC)? Because he wanted to be comfortable. Close to the family, close to the business downtown, close to home, etc. Why did Tanguay resign here? Because his wife and kid(s) fell deeply in love with the beautiful city. Hard to blame them, but again, a comfort thing. Why did Joker come back? Because his daughter really liked it here. Again, to be comfortable.

Obviously, Jaorme Iginla continues to not win here because he is comfortable.

From the players own mouths, they sign here not to win, but because it is a comfortable place to play. Calgary has become like some sort of over 40 community down in Florida. Escape the hustle and bustle of the dog eat dog life of the NHL. Sign in Calgary! Mountains only 30 minutes away! Polite locals! Kids eat free!

Calgary, the anti-Detroit!

Is that a good place for the organization to be? To be comfortable? Does that hinder winning? Do we have other shit to do than today than to finish answering our own questions? Have we set up a nice topic to write about for our next blog post?

Check back later this week, same bat-time, same bat-channel. ZOINK!

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias Ken King should be fired.


  1. db,

    do the flames play buffalo this year? reggie will be breathing fire! i love how everyone is spinning that hannan replaces reggie at 1/4th the cost - what a genius k-squared is and his meat puppet fat feaster.

    it kind of reminds me of the early 90s, retard lada salesman who would try and convince you that you could get 4 ladas for the price of one honda...4 pieces of shit still does not equal one scoop of ice cream.

    furthermore, why would 29 odd teams (some who still need to make the cap floor) not offer hannan more than 1 million cake and more than one year term (especially if stability is so important for his kids)?? remotely-inquiring minds would like to know. this in light of the fact that no one with any talent, or aspirations to win, wants anything to do with Cowtown.

    that said, the feaster doctrine is becoming more clear...throw as much shit against the wall while praying that some of last night's sloppy joe sticks - it doesn't work for the monkeys at the zoo or the huckster paperboy/sock puppet trying to run the flames.


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