Friday, July 15, 2011

Chillin In The Freeway, Chewing On Our Shotgun

Where to start?

First off, you are welcome. But really, there is no need to thank us, or pay us, or anything like that. After all, this was a team effort guys. We couldn't have done it without the support of the legions of Domebeer-aholics. We can all share in this triumph; we can all claim credit to this scalp.

Peter Loubardias is fucking gone. Fired. Boom, out of here. Fuck yeah. When we get back, party at the Dog & Duck.

Alright, lets knock these bitches out.

Reveling In A Mans Demise

Uhh, fuck yeah we are. Why wouldn't we be?

A man who was ill equipped to do the job he was tasked to do has lost his job. Again we ask, why wouldn't we be happy with that?

Or, let us get real with this: The Flames were not the most exciting team to watch during Loubardias's term with the team. He made watching the team less enjoyable. He isn't there anymore. Why wouldn't we be happy with that development?

We are going to keep on the honesty train. We have never met someone in real life who actually liked the way Peter Loubardias calls a hockey game. No one. Who are these people who like his style? Honestly? But hey, some people think Barack Obama is doing a good job, right? It's a mad, mad world.

Hate to break it to the members of the Flames fandom who think Loubardias wasn't a joke: You are in the minority. The small minority. Your opinion on this matter is wrong. Very wrong. You know how we know? Sportsnet is going through a re-organization. Why? Because they have a shitty product that is getting trounced by TSN. You know who was identified as one of the weaknesses of Sportsnet? Loubardias!

If a monopolistic entity comes to the conclusion that one of their assets is in fact a liability, it's probably very apparent. It's not our fault that you Kool-Aid drinkers couldn't figure out that someone wasn't selling a lot of cellphones (Psst: Rogers sells telephones).

Besides, mouthbreathers, if Loubardias is as good at his job as you people claim (erroneously) that he his, why the worry? He will have no problem at all ruining, err, starring in another teams broadcast. Right?

Or maybe, possibly, you Loubardias supporters are directing this hate towards us because you all know, deep down, that Loubardias was not good at his job?

You know what we would use as an allegory? Peter Loubardias is Robert Neville. Do you guys know who that is? People are not taught history anymore, so you never know.

Robert Neville was a general in World War One. Robert Neville was also a fucking butcher (do we have to explain that too? Fuck. Ok. He got a lot of the men under his command killed during his operations). Much like Peter Loubardias was, when it came to calling hockey games. When the French High Command made Robert Neville the head of the French Army, you know what happened? The French army mutinied. Mutinied! With Germans still in French territory! With Germans still raping French women!

When Sportsnet made Peter Loubardias the Flames play-by-play guy, any Flames fan with taste mutinied. You are shocked! shocked! that when the Butcher is removed, we celebrate? What planet are you people fucking on?

Loss Of Livelihood

Our loyalty is to the fans of the Flames. It isn't to particular men. If yours is, you probably should evaluate what kind of fan that you are. Or where your loyalties lay.

(By the way Mr. Molberg, thanks for crediting us with getting Loubardias fired. Our chests swelled at the thought that we are running Sportsnet.).

People, how fucking soft are you? Nobody, nobody, is entitled to a job. We did a quick perusal of the 10 Commandments, nothing in there about people being guaranteed a job. We checked through the British North America act. Nothing.

The age of hereditary monarchies is long past (Hi Will and Kate!). Even Mark Hurd got fired, for fucks sake. If Peter Loubardias wanted a gauranteed job, he should have applied to the Post Office. If you people are uncomfortable with that, move to North Korea.

We did not put a gun to Loubardias's head and force him into an industry where there are only 30 good jobs, ok? That was Loubardias's decision. It didn't work out, largely because of Loubardias himself. Deal with it.

Look, we have been criticizing this guy since 2009. 2009! And, hate to break it to the mouthbreathers, but we were right. If Loubardias would have listened to us and modified his behavior, he would still have a job. It's not our fault Loubardias has a tin ear. It's not our fault we are better talent evaluators than you Loubardias supporters.

Let's get fucking real here, people. We were doing Loubardias a favour by criticising him, letting him know what portions of his game he needed to work on. It is not our fault he was arrogant and did not listen. You people who hid the truth from the man, you people who pretended that Loubardias was a good play by play guy, you guys are the ones who did a disservice to the man. Chew on that, fuckers. Wrap your petty minds around that.

It was the people who supported Loubardias, who pretended he was doing a good job and that his detractors were crazy, that got Loubardias fired. We hope you learn the lesson, and avoid in the future the siren song of the soft bigotry of lowered expectations.

The Real Question

Is, of course, what the hell is Sportsnet doing firing a guy without having a replacement ready to go?

Peter Loubardias sucks, ok? But even though he sucks and is terrible, he still gave Sportsnet several years of loyal service, and he was a good soldier. He deserved more from Sportsnet than the embarrassment they gave him.

Getting fired is embarrassing, there is no way around that. But it can be mitigated. And it can be mitigated, or more accurately, could have been mitigated in this case, if Sportsnet had the Peter Loubardias replacement ready to go. That way the story wouldn't be about Loubardias getting fired, it would have been about the new play by play voice of the Flames.

The other question is, of course, who gets the Flame play by play gig now. Contrary to popular belief, we don't actually run Sportsnet so we have no clue whatsoever.

What we will say is that we hope they don't make it any of the guys they have on the roster. Please, don't make it Rob Kerr. Don't make it the Million dollar man (although he was a lot better than Loubardias). Get someone new, someone fresh.

Or just do the right thing and link up Peter Mahers radio broadcasts with the TV's. It's not like Peter is a Hall of Famer, or anything like that.

A Theory

Still reading? Tits. We have a theory on Loubardias. He took over from Millions because of the 'cocksucker' thang. So he was hired somewhat unexpectedly. Do you know what happened this year? Sportsnets deal with the Flames ran out, and they had to renegotiate it. They renegotiated a ten year deal.

Peter Loubardias was not long for the Flames. He was a stop gap measure to take the team to the end of the deal with Rogers. Now that a new 10 year deal is signed, Rogers wants someone who is actually good to be the teams play by play guy. Just a theory.

End Of An Era

It's no secret that the catchphrase of this site is inspired by Cato the Elder, and his habit of ending very speech he gave with 'Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam', or 'Furthermore, I think Carthage must be destroyed'.

Cato dies before that happens though. So Cato does not provide us with any guidance as to what to say when Carthage has indeed been destroyed.

We are leaning towards Patton. He has a great speech we would encourage you all to read, his Blood and Guts speech.

'Americans love a winner. Americans will not tolerate a loser. Americans despise cowards. Americans play to win all of the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost nor will ever lose a war; for the very idea of losing is hateful to an American.'

It's probably down to 'Furthermore, I think Ken King should be fired (hat tip to Domebeer-aholic Ken) or 'Calgary loves a winner. Calgary will not tolerate a loser. Calgary despises cowards. Calgary plays to win all of the time.'

Time will tell, we suppose.

#HireKirkwood

Indeed.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias got fired.

19 comments:

  1. Furthermore, I think Ken King should be fired.

    +1

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  2. If Rob Kerr gets that gig, I may just have to slit my wrists. He's fucking terrible.

    Maher is great, not sure how good he would be on the telly.

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  3. You can’t even get your facts right. The Millions incident happened well after Pete L took over pbp duties.

    Just because you are a blogger doesn’t mean you shouldn’t respect your audience enough to engage in some basic fact checking. You feel the need to constantly attack this guy – but at least he takes his job seriously and puts in the required work.

    The fact you get can’t basic facts right speaks volume about how much work you put into this blog and how little you care for doing it well.

    It took me 30 seconds to find out when the Millions incident happened and when Pete L took over. 30 seconds.

    Couldn’t be bothered I guess. Ah well. At least it exposes you for the lazy, trashy blogger you are.

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  4. This is downright splendid. He was horrendous at PBP. Can't deny he knew lots about junior hockey, just not play calling, the job was hired to do.

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  5. My God this is great. I tune into Fan 960 ALOT!. and to hear this news makes my day. Everytime they had him on I cringed, turned the channel and prayed when I turned it back on he was gone. I dont know the man but his game calling and daytime radio work was the worst I ever heard. I always thought, " how can people actually listen to this guy", one big HUUUUURRRRRAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

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  6. Uhh, quick fact check: accordng to CP, DB runs sportsnet and got Loubardias fired. I am pretty sure he knows what he is talking about, crazy.

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  7. Whomever is the piece(s) of shit who write this crap, take note of one thing... You heros claim how smart you are, and how you have balls. Actually you are complete chickenshits. You pussies sit behind a computer and write and talk smack about people but won't even tell us who you are. How many balls does it take to do that? The beer drinking assholes around here get a laugh and think your "creative writing" is funny, but many of us thing YOU are the losers. How much courage does it take to anonomously blog about people? You say WE are soft??? We are the "mouthbreathers", yet you whiners won't even come out of the closet to introduce yourselves, in case someone may take a swing at your pathtic asses.

    FUCK YOU!

    Roger Grant

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  8. Roger, why spend an ounce of energy of these wimps. If someone stood beside them at a hotdog stand and whispered "boo" they'd literally shit themselves.

    Peter Loubardias will be fine, don't worry. He's a quality broadcaster. These idiots couldn't do what he does for one single period.

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  9. Sorry Peter is leaving. He was knowledgeable and gave me reason to watch this team play in periods I wanted to turn the game off.

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  10. He is knowledgable about the game. But there is also no doubt that it was downright painful to listen to him call games.

    I`m pleased that my ears will no longer have to bleed listening to Flames TV broadcasts.

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  11. I start every day with a tall glass of Milskey.

    Maybe DB doesnt put his adress out there because you idiot psychos would kill him?

    DB, you do great work. Keep it up. Who else blogs about the flames, politcs, wrestling? And girls!

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  12. Roger grant should be the new play by play guy, he just took you apart!
    P.S Doug Kirkwood is nothing more than a glorified button pusher who was let go because his talent ran dry... Leave him wherever he is, the undavoyry aspect of the fan does not need bringing back, Boomer and Walks are doing a great job.
    Won't be surprised when you delete this you pricks!
    #rogergrantfedyouyourlunch

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  13. DB

    these idiots who are hating on you think Loubardias is good and Walker and Boomer do a good job. Take there opinions for what they are worth, which isn't much.

    Robert Grant fed DB his lunch? Whats your address and phone number, Roger? By the way, I dont think the media guys put there phone numbers and addresses out there.

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  14. Wow, Boomer actually credited DB with getting Loubardias fired? Can someone tell me what day that was, or link to the Audio On Demand?

    I really was kinda indifferent with Loubardias' game-calling but I fully agree that listening to him on the odd afternoon show was unbearable. The cadence of his speech was so disjointed as to be jarring; the odd thing was it was a complete contrast to how he spoke on TV.

    And Kirkwood is no knight in shining armor. I can recall back to when Richards was on vacation and they left the show in the hands of Kirkwood and Rowe; it was literally painful to listen to, they were tanking so badly. Kirch brought in Dowbiggin after a day or 2 to keep the ship afloat.

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  15. Grant, Anon, et al

    One day I hope you find enough meaning, purpose, and contentment in your lives that the words of an 'online terrorist' as they pertain to the local sports team play by play guy won't effect you all in such an obviously deep and personal way.

    God bless.

    AZR

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  16. I'd like to see wrett warrener do play by play, he has got some swagger.

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  17. would rather have no audio coming out of the tv and just listen to the smooth sound of peter mahr

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  18. If there wasn't a satelite delay between the silky tones of Peter HHOF Maher and the televised video feed on Sportsnet, I'd listen to Peter HHOF Maher while watching the game on the muted TV every time.

    I'm not Loubo's wife or kids, so I don't care if he finds a new job or if he dies in a gutter somewhere, as long as it isn't in front of my house.
    He made watching the Flames worse than it had to be, and it is right that he is no longer doing that job. If I sucked at my job, I'd get fired too.

    The morning show on Fan960 sucks now too, ever since Richards left. They actually interviewed someone from "Cougar Life" on the air this morning. Unbelieveable.

    Beeker

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  19. Fuck it, no more Fan 960 for me. Lombardius is back on who runs that station?

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