Where to start?
First off, you are welcome. But really, there is no need to thank us, or pay us, or anything like that. After all, this was a team effort guys. We couldn't have done it without the support of the legions of Domebeer-aholics. We can all share in this triumph; we can all claim credit to this scalp.
Peter Loubardias is fucking gone. Fired. Boom, out of here. Fuck yeah. When we get back, party at the Dog & Duck.
Alright, lets knock these bitches out.
Reveling In A Mans Demise
Uhh, fuck yeah we are. Why wouldn't we be?
A man who was ill equipped to do the job he was tasked to do has lost his job. Again we ask, why wouldn't we be happy with that?
Or, let us get real with this: The Flames were not the most exciting team to watch during Loubardias's term with the team. He made watching the team less enjoyable. He isn't there anymore. Why wouldn't we be happy with that development?
We are going to keep on the honesty train. We have never met someone in real life who actually liked the way Peter Loubardias calls a hockey game. No one. Who are these people who like his style? Honestly? But hey, some people think Barack Obama is doing a good job, right? It's a mad, mad world.
Hate to break it to the members of the Flames fandom who think Loubardias wasn't a joke: You are in the minority. The small minority. Your opinion on this matter is wrong. Very wrong. You know how we know? Sportsnet is going through a re-organization. Why? Because they have a shitty product that is getting trounced by TSN. You know who was identified as one of the weaknesses of Sportsnet? Loubardias!
If a monopolistic entity comes to the conclusion that one of their assets is in fact a liability, it's probably very apparent. It's not our fault that you Kool-Aid drinkers couldn't figure out that someone wasn't selling a lot of cellphones (Psst: Rogers sells telephones).
Besides, mouthbreathers, if Loubardias is as good at his job as you people claim (erroneously) that he his, why the worry? He will have no problem at all ruining, err, starring in another teams broadcast. Right?
Or maybe, possibly, you Loubardias supporters are directing this hate towards us because you all know, deep down, that Loubardias was not good at his job?
You know what we would use as an allegory? Peter Loubardias is Robert Neville. Do you guys know who that is? People are not taught history anymore, so you never know.
Robert Neville was a general in World War One. Robert Neville was also a fucking butcher (do we have to explain that too? Fuck. Ok. He got a lot of the men under his command killed during his operations). Much like Peter Loubardias was, when it came to calling hockey games. When the French High Command made Robert Neville the head of the French Army, you know what happened? The French army mutinied. Mutinied! With Germans still in French territory! With Germans still raping French women!
When Sportsnet made Peter Loubardias the Flames play-by-play guy, any Flames fan with taste mutinied. You are shocked! shocked! that when the Butcher is removed, we celebrate? What planet are you people fucking on?
Loss Of Livelihood
Our loyalty is to the fans of the Flames. It isn't to particular men. If yours is, you probably should evaluate what kind of fan that you are. Or where your loyalties lay.
(By the way Mr. Molberg, thanks for crediting us with getting Loubardias fired. Our chests swelled at the thought that we are running Sportsnet.).
People, how fucking soft are you? Nobody, nobody, is entitled to a job. We did a quick perusal of the 10 Commandments, nothing in there about people being guaranteed a job. We checked through the British North America act. Nothing.
The age of hereditary monarchies is long past (Hi Will and Kate!). Even Mark Hurd got fired, for fucks sake. If Peter Loubardias wanted a gauranteed job, he should have applied to the Post Office. If you people are uncomfortable with that, move to North Korea.
We did not put a gun to Loubardias's head and force him into an industry where there are only 30 good jobs, ok? That was Loubardias's decision. It didn't work out, largely because of Loubardias himself. Deal with it.
Look, we have been criticizing this guy since 2009. 2009! And, hate to break it to the mouthbreathers, but we were right. If Loubardias would have listened to us and modified his behavior, he would still have a job. It's not our fault Loubardias has a tin ear. It's not our fault we are better talent evaluators than you Loubardias supporters.
Let's get fucking real here, people. We were doing Loubardias a favour by criticising him, letting him know what portions of his game he needed to work on. It is not our fault he was arrogant and did not listen. You people who hid the truth from the man, you people who pretended that Loubardias was a good play by play guy, you guys are the ones who did a disservice to the man. Chew on that, fuckers. Wrap your petty minds around that.
It was the people who supported Loubardias, who pretended he was doing a good job and that his detractors were crazy, that got Loubardias fired. We hope you learn the lesson, and avoid in the future the siren song of the soft bigotry of lowered expectations.
The Real Question
Is, of course, what the hell is Sportsnet doing firing a guy without having a replacement ready to go?
Peter Loubardias sucks, ok? But even though he sucks and is terrible, he still gave Sportsnet several years of loyal service, and he was a good soldier. He deserved more from Sportsnet than the embarrassment they gave him.
Getting fired is embarrassing, there is no way around that. But it can be mitigated. And it can be mitigated, or more accurately, could have been mitigated in this case, if Sportsnet had the Peter Loubardias replacement ready to go. That way the story wouldn't be about Loubardias getting fired, it would have been about the new play by play voice of the Flames.
The other question is, of course, who gets the Flame play by play gig now. Contrary to popular belief, we don't actually run Sportsnet so we have no clue whatsoever.
What we will say is that we hope they don't make it any of the guys they have on the roster. Please, don't make it Rob Kerr. Don't make it the Million dollar man (although he was a lot better than Loubardias). Get someone new, someone fresh.
Or just do the right thing and link up Peter Mahers radio broadcasts with the TV's. It's not like Peter is a Hall of Famer, or anything like that.
Still reading? Tits. We have a theory on Loubardias. He took over from Millions because of the 'cocksucker' thang. So he was hired somewhat unexpectedly. Do you know what happened this year? Sportsnets deal with the Flames ran out, and they had to renegotiate it. They renegotiated a ten year deal.
Peter Loubardias was not long for the Flames. He was a stop gap measure to take the team to the end of the deal with Rogers. Now that a new 10 year deal is signed, Rogers wants someone who is actually good to be the teams play by play guy. Just a theory.
End Of An Era
It's no secret that the catchphrase of this site is inspired by Cato the Elder, and his habit of ending very speech he gave with 'Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam', or 'Furthermore, I think Carthage must be destroyed'.
Cato dies before that happens though. So Cato does not provide us with any guidance as to what to say when Carthage has indeed been destroyed.
We are leaning towards Patton. He has a great speech we would encourage you all to read, his Blood and Guts speech.
'Americans love a winner. Americans will not tolerate a loser. Americans despise cowards. Americans play to win all of the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost nor will ever lose a war; for the very idea of losing is hateful to an American.'
It's probably down to 'Furthermore, I think Ken King should be fired (hat tip to Domebeer-aholic Ken) or 'Calgary loves a winner. Calgary will not tolerate a loser. Calgary despises cowards. Calgary plays to win all of the time.'
Time will tell, we suppose.
Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias got fired.