Monday, May 9, 2011

Still Nothing

What are we going to write about, with the Flames being dead and the media refusing to ask uncomfortable questions?
Diss Andrew Walker?

Who? Don't worry, if you don't know that name you are in the same company as Peter Maher. His coworker.

(And our last shot - Boomer & Warrener this morning, sans Walker, was much better than normal. We know some of the Domebeer-aholics have questioned the use of Warrener, or more specifically the overuse of Warrener, but we don't know, with just Boomer and Warrener there, they sound more natural, like it's a more natural flow. That's the format we would go with. Save the 24 grand you pay Walker (is that too high an estimate?) and get Ric Lafitte an expensive whore.)

Anyways...the Flames. No news, huh? It's getting so bad we even went to Calgarypuck to look for news. And even they got nothing. It's a drought.

Actually, we did hear about the Flames when we were listening to the AM1060's child cancer charity drive thang they were doing the other day. Turns out the Flames, predictably, are involved in a lot of the stories of the sick kids; Giving out tickets, the players lending their time, etc.

You know who is behind that shit? We guarantee you that it is Ken King. Damn you and your charitable inclinations, Ken King. Humanizing yourself in our eyes, and shit. Hate that.

What was Classic Country doing, anyways? Trying to make grown men cry?

Watching those playoffs; Wow, are the Flames far away.

Here is your depressing stat for the day:

List is from Ales Pig Ugly Kotalicksballs isn't on the list, for whatever reason. Anyways...holy shit this is a mess of our own making. And by 'our' and 'own' we mean Murray Edwards, and his enabling of Ken King, and then Kings enabling of Darryl Sutter. The two '*' belong to shitface Hagman and Tommy K, who we love here at Dome Beers.

But just look at this list. The Flames ownership group, Mr. Murray Edwards, are (is?) on the hook to pay the bums on the roster One Hundred Twenty Five Million Dollars. How Murray Edwards can look at that is beyond us. Is there enough Pepto Bismol in the world?

Oh right, he doesn't actually know all that much about hockey, so Ken King is still able to con him on the potential of 27 year old Matt Stajan.

And six years to Bourque...what the fuck were people smoking?

Look, it's obvious as hell, so why don't they come out and say it? The Flames fucked up. They operate under a system that has a cap on the amount of money they have to spend on salaries (which may or may not be good), but at the same time guarantees contracts (which is fucking retarded). Which means the organization can't simply cut the dead weight on the team and spend it's way to prosperity.

Which in turn means that next year is a write off year (Ken King not being fired for this travesty is stupid). That's fine, but have the 'intelectual honesty' as an organization to tell the fans. We know it's shitty marketing, but it will cause less damage in the long run. You have people running around this city with the crazy notion that the organization will actively try to make itself better for next year, and that is just not the case, and when those people see that they will get cynical. And cynicism will corrode a fanbase.

For instance, take the Cubs. Everyone who vaguely follows the Cubs knows that the team isn't trying to win this year (insert Cubs-Lose-All-The-Time joke here). Because the fanbase knows the score, and the score being that they need to let some ill thought out contracts expire and get off the books before they can legitimately contend (which is in no way analogous to the Flames current situation at all, no sir), the fanbase isn't going crazy over the fact that Carlos Pena currently has 3 more RBI than John McDonald.

We will take it further: One of the reasons the fanbase isn't going crazy (over Pena and other shit) is because ownership was upfront and honest with the fanbase when it pertained to the future direction of the club. In the Cubs case, us Cub fans can sit secure in the knowledge that we will be watching either Albert Pujols or Prince Fielder man first base for us next year.

To conclude this mini-rant: It's unsettling to know that the Cubs have a plan for the road ahead, and the Flames, by all indications, do not.

Can we fire Ken King yet?

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


  1. Dude, read those tweets. Walker is a girl. Don't take it personally, he was probably just dealing with hormones. Time of the month.

  2. the forgotten manMay 10, 2011 at 1:05 PM

    Don't worry DB, K-squared with his bountiful hockey pedigree has a laser-like focus on the Flames...just like Obama on the US economy (sic).

    Actually, instead of making a decision on a full-time GM, King is focused on purchasing the Roughnecks which will expand the Flames Sports Empire. Even if the Roughnecks are worth the time of day (questionable?), when you mix 6 cups of ice cream with a scoop of dog sh*t, it still tastes like dog sh*t. King can now just f*#k up another franchise, bringing his bountiful lacrosse pedigree to the table too.

    DB...if this deal for the Roughnecks does go through, can you try to confirm from Brad Bannister if he preferred the Reach Around from M.E. or K-squared...unless Eric Francis beats you to the punch.

  3. the forgotten manMay 11, 2011 at 9:12 AM

    In lieu of the Flames being a mess, something light-hearted and easy for the Lefties out there to comprehend:

    I asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up.

    She said she wanted to be Prime Minister of Canada someday.

    Both of her parents, NDP supporters, were standing there so I asked her, "If
    you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you would do?"

    She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."

    Her parents beamed, and said, "Welcome to the NDP Party!"

    "Wow...what a worthy goal!" I told her.

    I continued, "But you don't have to wait until you're Prime Minister to do
    that. You can come over to my house, mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my
    yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store
    where the homeless guy hangs out. You can give him the $50 to use toward
    food and a new house."

    She thought that over for a few seconds then she looked me straight in the
    eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and
    you can just pay him the $50?"

    I smiled and said, "Welcome to the Conservative Party."

    Her parents still aren't speaking to me.


  4. Mug them with reality, FM. It's the only thing that wakes them up.


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