Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Shameless Self Promotion

As opposed to...shamed self promotion?

Anyways people, FFWD Magazine. Yeah, the one with the Dan Savage column at the back and a poorly written article about politics at the front? Yeah, that's the one. Well, FFWD Magazine is trying to decide who gets on the ballot for their 'Best Of Calgary' promotional thang that they do. To win the title of 'Calgary's Best Widget', you have to be on the ballott.

Which means, Domebeer-aholics, you got some work to do. Because currently, we are not on the ballet. Which is a fucking disgrace. How do we fix this insult? Easy. FFWD is currently, as we speak, is holding what amounts to open auditions. If you go here (CLICK THE LINK) you will see that they have a process set up whereby if 40 people vote for your widget in whatever particular category you wish your widget to compete in, your widget will get on the official ballot.

Now our particular widget, Dome Beers, is particularly interested in getting on the ballot for the vote of 'Best Local Blog'. And it isn't just us. Domebeer-aholic and general bad ass senorita WI, who operates the HTP, has gone ahead and cast the first stone, if you will, for Dome Beers. That means we are 39 votes away from local hackdom heaven.

Let's channel our inner Rob Kerr and come up with a plan to get those 39 more votes. Although our plan won't be made out of generalities, vagueness (young players with speed and skill should make up the core!) and unicorn poop.

So. Step one, obviously, is to go here. Then, register up with FFWD. Normally we hate doing that shit, but this actually only took about 30 seconds. You give them an email address, they send you a link to make a password, and it's over quicker than Electra and Rodman.


Once that is done (DO IT!), you can start getting back to business. Once you are registered, you are taken back to the FFWD homepage. It's much better than the Calgary Suns homepage, so you wont get lost. There is a link bar on the left side of the screen. Gaze at it lovingly until you see the 'Best of Calgary' link. Click it, big man. It wants to be clicked. Make it feel like a real link.

Ok, so now you have clicked the link, and had your post-coitus cigarette. Now you are ready to start blog nominating.

You will see that FFWD has provided six categories of stuff n junk (The City, Urban Life, Shopping, etc). Domebeer-aholics, you are concerned about only one of these categories. You want to click 'Urban Life', and holy hell is there a lot of shit here to vote on. Ignore it, ignore it all (less you want to vote, then go ahead, keener).

Actually, vote for AM1060 as best radio station, because, well, it is. Once that is done, then get ready to do some hardcore scrolling. Scroll down. Scroll way down. Stop when you see titles hovering over empty boxes. We said stop! Ok, good. We have arrived.

You are looking for 'Best Local Blog'. Once found, go ahead and just write ''. It's liberating, you will like it. While you are there, you can also go ahead and vote for Matt Stajan as the sexiest woman in Calgary (which is a joke we stole from WI).

And then, from there, you simply hit submit. HIT SUBMIT! DO IT NOW!

Now, Dome Beers, why would we, the Domebeer-aholics, do this for you? Because we are offering bribes.

You guys get us on the ballot, we have a kegger for the Domebeer-aholics. It's really that simply.

So do you like Dome Beers? Do you like alcohol? Yeah, you do? Then go out and do your duty, and vote for Dome Beers, and get us on the ballot for 'Best Local Blog'.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


  1. If you couldn't get your peeps to try to stop cancer how r u going to get them to vote?

  2. "Come on! You've barely answered ANY questions yet. Phew, you need to answer at least 40 questions in order to be eligible. Keep going."

    Fuck that

  3. the unprecedented double shout-out ??! whoah.
    ps: the matt stajan joke was killer, hey ?
    let's hang out soon.

  4. My God DB. 40 questions? That is harsh. It gives me some indication of how useless these things are because who really has the inclination to vote on all of this useless shit? Like my thoughts really matter as to what the best gay/lesbian hangout spot is.

    My 5 minutes spent on the site randomly clicking responses so there was enough there to qualify surely guarantees my place in Valhalla.

    The Matt Stajan joke was killer.

    I also voted for the Old Trout Puppet Theatre but that was for purely selfish reasons.

  5. Just because you posted it again doesn't mean I'm voting again.


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