Friday, May 27, 2011
Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award
It's Friday, and that means just one thing: Rained out home-openers!
Huh? What? Oh yeah, yeah, you are right. It is also that time of the week when we present the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (the RTPIC)!
So, did anything happen this week? Too much, unfortunately. Let's just try and pick three.
Nomination number one for this weeks Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award goes to this cat. Why?Because he uttered the greatest line we have heard all week. Some background: So you are a cute Haitian girl, and you're working at a Christian radio station in Orlando. Life is good, right? Yeah, life is pretty sweet. Anyways, you are on the air, doing your prayer and salvation thang, when boom! the door to your studio bursts open and in comes a Haitian man who seems to have a thing for you. You think he has a thing for you because HE IS NAKED! Uh oh! Looks like someone is going to try and get their rape on!
Relax, the story has a good ending. But we want to just dwell on the naked man for a moment (no homo). He didn't get into the building naked, we hope. No, we suspect he walks right up to the studio door and then starts taking his clothes off. What? Don't you people have windows in your studios? Does nobody notice the man in the hallway stripping to his birthday suit? Are the men in the building too scared to do anything about it? What happened to chivalry?
Anyways, the poor radio host sweet talks the naked man into letting her out of the studio, and she goes down to her car, gets in, locks it, calls the cops. Turns out the man who went to a radio station (while it was broadcasting, mind you) to rape a radio host wasn't that bright. Go figure.
Here is the money line that earned the nomination. The would be rapist, when arrested, had this to say: “I didn't want to rape her, but I was attracted to her.”
Well, ok. In that case...
Our second nominee this week is a Mrs. Wasserman Schultz (D, Dumbassburg). Mrs. Wasserman Schultz is the new head of the DNC (Democratic National Committee). Congratulations. They picked a real winner with this chick, let us tell you. The first thing Mrs. Wasserman Schultz did upon taking her position was to call the members of the GOP 'anti-woman', and accuse the Republicans of a 'war against women'.
Now, this is a stupid comment on a number of levels, but let's just pick at one. Ya'll remember when that left wing lunatic shot Gabby Giffords (and others too, like that six year old girl the psycho killed) in the head? Remember how the Left immediately jumped up and tried to politicize the issue, and blame the murderers actions on 'inflamed rhetoric' from the Right?
Can we all say 'hypocrit'? Like, seriously. The Democrats are so scatter-brained right now they can't even keep their fake outrages straight.
Anyways, good hire.
And speaking of good hires, it appears that Darryl Sutter did indeed find employment after the Flames. How do we know? Well, this little story gave him away (Full disclosure, we miss the cat. Fire him and all that, Kotalik etc., but we still miss him a little). Yes people. Horse herpes. Coming to a rodeo near you!
If you click the link, you will see the rodeo replaced the sick horses with...wait for it...stick horses. Stick horses. Like a broom stick horse. Yeah, the recession is over, alright.
This weeks winner of the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award is the Leaders Of The New School.
A room of teachers, parents, and preachers / A principal and one kid dressed in sneakers. / Case of brown versus the board / (ORDER ORDER) / yo twelve, verse one is a slaughter.
Word. Should play this shit in the 'Dome, yo.
Wait...wheres the BDP?
For insane flavour, the Leaders Of The New School win this weeks Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award.
Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.