Friday, May 27, 2011

Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award



It's Friday, and that means just one thing: Rained out home-openers!

Huh? What? Oh yeah, yeah, you are right. It is also that time of the week when we present the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (the RTPIC)!

So, did anything happen this week? Too much, unfortunately. Let's just try and pick three.

Nomination number one for this weeks Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award goes to this cat. Why?Because he uttered the greatest line we have heard all week. Some background: So you are a cute Haitian girl, and you're working at a Christian radio station in Orlando. Life is good, right? Yeah, life is pretty sweet. Anyways, you are on the air, doing your prayer and salvation thang, when boom! the door to your studio bursts open and in comes a Haitian man who seems to have a thing for you. You think he has a thing for you because HE IS NAKED! Uh oh! Looks like someone is going to try and get their rape on!

Relax, the story has a good ending. But we want to just dwell on the naked man for a moment (no homo). He didn't get into the building naked, we hope. No, we suspect he walks right up to the studio door and then starts taking his clothes off. What? Don't you people have windows in your studios? Does nobody notice the man in the hallway stripping to his birthday suit? Are the men in the building too scared to do anything about it? What happened to chivalry?

Anyways, the poor radio host sweet talks the naked man into letting her out of the studio, and she goes down to her car, gets in, locks it, calls the cops. Turns out the man who went to a radio station (while it was broadcasting, mind you) to rape a radio host wasn't that bright. Go figure.

Here is the money line that earned the nomination. The would be rapist, when arrested, had this to say: “I didn't want to rape her, but I was attracted to her.”

Well, ok. In that case...

Our second nominee this week is a Mrs. Wasserman Schultz (D, Dumbassburg). Mrs. Wasserman Schultz is the new head of the DNC (Democratic National Committee). Congratulations. They picked a real winner with this chick, let us tell you. The first thing Mrs. Wasserman Schultz did upon taking her position was to call the members of the GOP 'anti-woman', and accuse the Republicans of a 'war against women'.

Now, this is a stupid comment on a number of levels, but let's just pick at one. Ya'll remember when that left wing lunatic shot Gabby Giffords (and others too, like that six year old girl the psycho killed) in the head? Remember how the Left immediately jumped up and tried to politicize the issue, and blame the murderers actions on 'inflamed rhetoric' from the Right?

Can we all say 'hypocrit'? Like, seriously. The Democrats are so scatter-brained right now they can't even keep their fake outrages straight.

Anyways, good hire.

And speaking of good hires, it appears that Darryl Sutter did indeed find employment after the Flames. How do we know? Well, this little story gave him away (Full disclosure, we miss the cat. Fire him and all that, Kotalik etc., but we still miss him a little). Yes people. Horse herpes. Coming to a rodeo near you!

If you click the link, you will see the rodeo replaced the sick horses with...wait for it...stick horses. Stick horses. Like a broom stick horse. Yeah, the recession is over, alright.

This weeks winner of the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award is the Leaders Of The New School.



A room of teachers, parents, and preachers / A principal and one kid dressed in sneakers. / Case of brown versus the board / (ORDER ORDER) / yo twelve, verse one is a slaughter.

Word. Should play this shit in the 'Dome, yo.

Wait...wheres the BDP?

For insane flavour, the Leaders Of The New School win this weeks Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

3 comments:

  1. the forgotten manMay 27, 2011 at 10:52 PM

    Yo DB, thanks for Kickin it Old School this week. Extra Mad Props had you dropped some "Tribe Called Quest" or "De La Soul"...if the Flames have a "late 80s-early 90s Hip-Hop Theme Night", I may have to consider paying for a couple of ducats (editors clarification: for the music, not the on-ice product)

    Wasserman-Schultz is the epitome of the dipshit pol...besides her bizarre "anti-woman" rant, her spectacular zinger was recently lecturing/scolding her lowly American electorate to drive "Detroit-made" vehicles (ie. Ford / Chrysler / Communist Motors). Unlike our local Sports Writers, a local gumshoe in her District did a little investigative digging, and discovered that a Lexus is registered to her residence. Even funnier is that the license plate registered to the vehicle has her initials on it...Manure for brains.

    Disappointed DB, where was our "Purpleness" on your nominee list...didn't you get the good news over the newswire today. N-squared is getting his 350 million+ play tunnel to the Airport after all - three big cheers for Naheed!!

    Here are a few sobering quotes from the venerable ol' girl the Herald regarding this Fan-Fuckingtastic turn of events:

    Exhibit #1.

    That offer, which city council voted for last week, pushes the project’s cost well over its original tab of $295 million, and will mean the roadway will stop at the little-used, rural-style 36th Street N.E. until more money is available.

    It means that on opening day in 2014, the tunnel will be of limited use, except to some northeast airport commuters and airport-area businesses.

    Exhibit #2.

    “I tell you, it will be 20 years before the people of Calgary will understand what an important decision was made today,” northeast Ald. Jim Stevenson said.

    “This decision is for 20 and 30 years from now, so even if we have the tunnel there and only open to 36th Street — that’s all we really need right now is to do that.”

    Exhibit #3.

    The city has said the full cost will be about $345 million. Roads director Ryan Jestin, however, cautioned the city is still calculating it and any estimates now would be “speculation.”

    **heavy emphasis on "speculation"**

    Besides rinsing my mouth of this shit-sandwich with that 40 of Bombay Sapphire sitting in my pantry, a little Magaret Thatcher is needed to further cleanse the palate:

    "The trouble with Socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money"

    God Bless you Maggie...

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  2. the forgotten manMay 27, 2011 at 11:45 PM

    O/T...a friend of a friend in the Flames Org. came across something K-Squared apparently left inside the Printer:


    Attn: Murray Edwards et al.
    Re: "Unlocking Flames Roster Potential 2011-2012: Blueprint to Stanley Cup"

    Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start


    Sincerely,

    Ken King

    ReplyDelete