Friday, May 20, 2011

Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award

It's Friday, and that means just one thing: Kraken Rum!

Huh? What? Oh yeah, yeah that's right! It is also that time of the week when we present the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (the RTPIC)!

So, did anything happen this week? Anything at all?

Nomination number one this week for the prestigious Roman Turek Profile In Courage award is Stephen Brunt. Why? Because the svelte Mr. Brunt beat the lumbering Bob Mackenzie to the story about Winnipeg acquiring the Thrashers.

Seriously, was anybody else watching Sportscentre when the story broke? You got to see Mackenzie and Dreger look all pissed they had been beat to a story, and you got to see them scramble for information on the TV. You guys are the insiders?

Maybe if Bob spent less time eating and more time digging, he would have been able to break the story. As it happened, when Brunt broke the story, Mackenzie and Dreger, in an effort to alleviate their embarrassment, started playing semantics! The deal is not done, they said, because I's needed to be dotted and T's needed to be crossed. Seriously, insiders? That is what you are going with?

Now to be fair, you can understand their shock. Sportsnet is a joke! They regularly report stories that end up being not accurate. But common guys, Brunt beat yeah, don't shit on him with 'well the board hasn't made it official yet', when everyone who can chew gum and walk at the same time knows its inevitable. It was fun to watch the insiders sweat a little bit, though.

And speaking of sweating bullets, nomination number two this week is Assad dictatorship in Syria. Or, maybe not sweating bullets, but Assad is certainly sharing his bullets. Sharing them at funerals, at street protests, sharing them with women and children. What a guy, sharing is fun!

So the world went into Libya to prevent 'a massacre of civilians'. Well, we have 'a massacre of civilians' actually going on in Syria, so where is the world with their white hatted cavalry? We would hate to be one of those crazies who say countries get invaded for oi, but it certainly looks like the West chose to intervene in Libya and not Syria because they thought they could rob Qaddafi of his 40 billion dollars (rob may be the wrong word, as Qaddafi stole the country that allowed him to amass the fortune in the first place), and the Assads didn't have near that much money in their bank accounts.

And what's more, Obama has shown a willingness for political assassinations. He went in and got Osama, and he even ordered bombs dropped on Qaddafi's house (in an attempt to kill him). We aren't going to cry for murderers or dictators, but if they can order the assassination of Osama and Qaddafi, why the hell don't they order one up for Assad, who is in the same category as those other two baby killers?

The West should step up and kill this guy. Let's be heroes, lets be brave, like the brave Syrians who are risking getting a hole put into their domes, Western world.

And, of course, sticking with heroes, our third nominee is all the fire fighters from across Canada who have come to save Slave Lake. Sad thing is that their isn't much to save.

Honestly, what is to say? You have all seen the pictures. Is that Slave Lake or is that Dresden, you know? Thoughts and prayers.

The Canadian Red Cross is taking donations. These are Canadians, Albertans, who have had their lives fucked up by this. Please give what you can.

The winner of this weeks Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award is Macho Man Randy Savage.

Rest In Peace, Macho King.

Look, when we were growing up wrestling had its Golden Age. So we grew up with some of the great legends of the industry. And Macho Man Randy Savage was a towering figure, even among the legends.

So it's, well, not shocking, but jarring, when these guys die. Because these guys oozed life.

Honestly, Elbow Drops were fucking awesome.

You know what it is? It's that we are getting older. So you get nostalgic, right? And these guys were around for our childhood, so in a way it's like your connections to childhood is dying. Or something corny like that.

It's also a tragic reminder that doing lots of cocaine has consequences. Kids, watch your noses. Because you're 20 now and invincible, but those extra heart beats you use when high on the candy are beats your heart won't have when you are 58 and driving down the highway.

Kinda sad. Legends don't die, right?

For being our favourite wrestler when we were kids, Macho Man Randy Savage wins this weeks Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award.

And go buy his DVD!

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.