Tuesday, May 24, 2011

It's Silly

Has Bruce Dowbiggin been given the treatment yet? Would seem strange if he has not been subjected to it. But we have wrecked our brains with drugs and alcohol; remembering is not our strong suit.

Anyways, Brucey, come on down!

Actually, no FJM or anything like that. The occasion doesn't really call for it. Just some mild poking.

And what are we mildly poking? The latest 'Usual Suspects' column by Mr. Dowbiggin.

Because it is awful. Mr. Dowbiggin has two topics in his column, the first being about the obvious homerism of Jim Hughson, and the second being an attempted shot attempt at every tailors favourite, Don Cherry. And the coloumn is awful because Mr. Dowbiggin manages to get both his takes spectacularly wrong.

First things first, so we will start with the first. Is Jim Hughson a homer?

Do we have to spend any time at all on this subject? Anybody not connected to the media thinks Jim Hughson is a homer, because Jim Hughson is a homer. People connected to the media think they are fooling the rest of us by pretending otherwise, but that is all it is, pretending.

And the media people know it. Dowbiggin spends his entire first half of his column establishing that in fact, Hughson is a homer. Dowbiggin tells us Hughson lives in Vancouver, used to call Vancouver games, hell, how the guy was born and bred in B.C. Dowbiggin even relates to us that he (Dowbiggin) thinks Jim Hughson is biased because he was so harsh on the Sedins in the first round. The harshness betraying Hughson's bias, according to Dowbiggin, because only a fan would talk like that about the twins.

But then, after establishing the fact that Hughson is in fact biased, he goes on to say that Hughson is not biased because...because...

Well, because "That empathy strengthens the broadcast." Huh? What Dowbiggin has done here is pervert the English language. He means to say "That bias strengthens the broadcast" but because he has chosen to stupidly defend the fact that Hughson is not biased in favour of the Canucks, he can't. So he replaces the word 'bias' with 'empathy' and hopes no one will notice. And we think it is stupid.

What Dowbiggin wanted to write was that Hughson's biased homerism made watching the broadcast fun, and there is no harm in it because the Canucks are the only Canadian team left, so let's cut the guy some slack. But because some of these people take their positions so seriously, Dowbiggin can't say that. It would be an insult to Hughsons journalistic integrity if he accused him of bias.

It's such bullshit. If Dowbiggin wants to court Hughson, they should do it in a bathhouse away from public eyes. Because that is basically what is going on here with this 'of course he isn't biased' column.

Anyways, on to the second part. After completely white-washing the charges of bias off of Hughson because Dowbiggin happens to like him, he then takes a completely out of the blue shot at Don Cherry. And, of course, he misses spectacularly.

Dowbiggin, for whatever reason, goes back to cherry pick a quote from Mr. Cherry, for who knows what reason; probably to impugn the reputation of NHLer's. Dowbiggin points to Mr. Cherry saying "We are the cleanest sport in the world”, and then for some strange reason brings up Boogaards death. (Why is nobody even asking if Boogyman killed himself? Gets overdose high all by himself? Seems strange to us.)

These two statements have nothing to do with each other. As Dowbiggin himself points out in his column, Don Cherry was speaking about performance enhancing drugs when he made that statement to Dick Pound. Oxycontin is not a performance enhancing drug. Ask anyone who has ever tried to have sex while high on them pills.

To us, trying to twist Don Cherry's words about hockey players taking steroids and HGH and make them applicable to a hockey player who had a drug problem is pretty low.

There may well be a drug problem in hockey. Our own #14 tried to sniff his nose off, and it was kept pretty quiet by the media. We suspect that isn't unique, and many of the escapades of the hockey players are quietly swept under a rug. But to imply, as Dowbiggin does, that because Probert liked to party, and some NHLer we had never heard of (Brantt Myhres) was a junkie, that the NHL is in fact drug riddled is perhaps the worst type of journalism.

And the Globe and Mail gives Dowbiggin a respected stage to go out and make these unfounded allegations. It's insane. If Dowbiggin has evidence of rampant drug use on behalf of the players, he should come forward with it. If he doesn't, he should stop making baseless accusations. And he should definitely stop twisting Don Cherry's words, because that is just shady, and really unprofessional.

Did ya'll see the Thunder choke it away to the Mavs? If Dirk and the Mavs can get over the hump, there is hope for everyones sports team.

And hey, quickly, someone show Langkow and Sarich what Rafalski just did.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


  1. Cherry's been writing Dowbiggin's columns for years. And, it's too bad Hughson is such a homer because he calls a decent game when he's not jamming his nose directly up the ass of the 'nucks. It's quite pathetic, really, and very unprofessional. But, professionalism in play-by-play is a lost art.

    And - I was beginning to think I was the only one who had negative feelings towards Langkow... glad to know I'm not alone. I've lost a lot of followers on twitter by suggesting Langkow is dead-weight.

  2. Just in regards to Langkow, could you expand one why you'd like to get rid of him? If its because of the cap hit I would fully agree, but his play doesn't really suggest he's near the top of the list of players needing to go.

  3. Problem for the Flames is Langkow remains the best center on the team (despite some $6.5M spent on potential replacements) and the club wouldn't be able to replace him in free agency this off-season, short of landing Brad Richards (at 1.5X the price) or - maybe - Brooks Laich.

    Langkow has one year left on his deal anyways. He's the least of this club's problems.

  4. Thank you for this take down of Dowbiggin's asshat-ery on the Boogard thing. The Cherry quote was totally taken out of context.


  5. the forgotten manMay 25, 2011 at 10:05 PM

    Forget the asshat Doughboy...please review Good King Nenshi's tunnel to nowhere:


    If our asshat Mayor gets this turd passed at the political sum of "295 million" (ie. 400 million+ in real world money) while my Acura gets the shit kicked out of it every day driving on our existing infrastructure, then we citizens deserve the Council we voted for.

    I need a drink - actually make it a triple.

  6. Had to chime in on the Hughson thing. It's tough to swallow the fact that our "national" broadcaster seems to have no problem with this. Not to mention Hughson's sidekick, Craig "we truly are all Canucks Jimmy!" Simpson. But, come to think of it, the entire CBC on air crew seems to have adopted the same stance. They appear to have no problem with professing their love for the Canucks every night. Your tax dollars at work as always.

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