Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Our Ironman Is A Wimp

We have not run a gag or a bit in forever. Today will not be the day we break that streak.

Because, honestly, we got nothing. The funniest thing we have heard about the Flames lately was in the columns out today, talking about JBlow and the ironman streak. Uhh, yeah, for sure. Because the cat doesn't hit anybody!

Or, as Busby deadpanned: 'While no one would claim Bouwmeester is the next Scott Stevens as a physical blueliner...' You know, because who would expect a player who is 6'4, 220 pounds, and is fast enough on skates that he could put any forward in his sights, to actually hit anyone.

Some of you don't place importance on JBlows physicality, and we think that is wrong. If JBlow is going to be playing for 30 minutes a game, but he doesn't hit anybody, then those aren't exactly hard minutes for the opposition. Stick checks might be embarrassing, but they aren't going to keep a player from the corner. A check does. Intimidation, like it or not, is a quality. Chris Pronger is effective because he not only plays a ton of minutes, but because when he is on the ice opposition players need to keep their heads up, lest they want to eat a dirty elbow.

How many months do you think JBlows parents would ground him if he threw a dirty elbow?

Anyways, JBlow is the biggest pussy on this team. This team has Matt Stajan on it.

Chart time!

JBlows pussy cat act:

He plays more minutes than anyone else on the team, and his hit rate is one of the lowest. Barely higher than Bowflex's rate. Lower than Matt Stajans rate. Lower than Hagmans for Whalens sake. He beats Brenda Morrison out, and Tangs out, but big whoop.

No shit he is the NHL's ironman. He never hits anybody. We would take the annually injured Pronger over JBlow and his 'streak' any day.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


  1. I prefer him to Phaneuf, who hit everybody.

  2. Domebeer-aholics, as Kent rightly points out, there is no correlation here (at least I didn't make the case for it on this post) between being a quality blueliner, which JBlow is, and being a shitbag, which is what Phaneuf is.

    I just like taking shots at JBlow, because he gets paid way too much.

    Anyways, the follow up post to this is obviously to take the numbers of every NHL defenceman and see where JBlow ranks in that group. Further, take the numbers of all blueliners who make over some arbitrary number, say 6 million, and compare them to JBlow, and then finally, see if there is any correlation to hitting and keeping the puck out of the net.

    Which, in my current state, is a post for another day.

    Anyways...JBlow over Phaneuf for sure, but over a Pronger? (and actually, I should look at Pronger and Lidstrom, surface opposites)

  3. You know, JBlow is never intimidated himself, no matter who he plays against, he plays a simple consistent game. Gio should take notes...

    Props for that JBlow.

  4. I wouldn't draw conclusions on contract worthiness from it, but that's a great chart!

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