Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Peter Loubardias Does Not Suck


There has been a lot of noise and thunder about Sportsnet's Calgary Flames play-by-play guy, Peter Loubardias. While his critics arguments are too well thought out, well reasoned, and nuanced to summarize with any justice, if we were to be rough with them we could boil them down to three words: Peter Loubardias sucks.

Ladies and gentlemen of this peculiarly constituted jury, we submit to the floor that Peter Loubardias does not suck.

When you think of play-by-play, what do you think of? Sound, right? Ultimately that's what it is about, a sound, a rhythm, a flow. Well, it cannot be argued that Peter Loubardias does not have an unique and distinct sounding voice. You know Peter Loubardias when you hear him. Distinct and unique voices have been the trademark of many a hall of fame broadcaster. Peter Loubardias has a lot of work ahead of him if he wants to be a hall of fame broadcaster, but at least he has a voice with which to speak on the radio with. That's more than you can say for this guy.

What's more, Peter is able to talk, and talk, and talk some more, all with that voice of his. Who needs to be immersed in the natural sounds of a hockey game when you could be listening to Peter Loubardias talk? Right? It isn't easy to be able to talk as much as Peter does during a game for roughly 70 some games a year. It takes some kinda talent to do that.

If there is ever some sort of new shiny global war, you would want Peter around in your foxhole. If you ever got shot and were fighting for life, slipping in and out of consciousness, you would be able to gauge whether you were alive or dead by whether or not you could hear Peter talking. Believe us, in crunch time, those little things are big.

Charlie Simmer and Peter Loubardias also work with each other. They have a...rapport?

Anyways, Peter Loubardias does not suck. It's clear from those above examples he doesn't. There are more reasons than that, however, as to why Peter Loubardias does not suck.

Peter Loubardias works in the hockey industry, and boy howdy, does he know hockey. Especially junior hockey. He is some sort of junior hockey specialist. His hockey PhD is much more prestigious than Rob Kerrs is. No doubt about that at all. Peters knowledge of hockey is probably deeper than Charlie Simmers is, and Simmer has played in the league! When it comes to hockey in general, and Junior hockey especially, it would be hard to find someone more in touch, you know, without going all Graham James, with the kids who play Junior hockey than Peter is.

Actually, that's also a feather in his cap as well, or at least it should be. Peter Loubardias might be Junior hockey obsessed, but he hasn't touched a kids penis. From what you hear about Junior hockey in general, that's some kind of accomplishment. Kudos to you, Peter.

Loubardias is around Junior hockey so much it's almost as if he should be working Junior hockey games as a job. In fact, he does. Big, nationally televised Junior tournaments. Where everyone gets to hear his unique and distinct voice. Hurray for everyone!

There is more to not sucking than just what goes on in front of the curtain. Behind the scenes work is just as important, if not more so, to being successful in the media. Peter Loubardias displays several traits and attributes that allow him to excel at that side of the business.

For instance, Peter Loubardias is friends with the coach of the Calgary Flames hockey club. The relationship stems from their days with and covering the Rebels. This relationship allows for the message the hockey club wants to present to be streamlined directly to you, the fans, with minimal 'filters' (as they say) getting in the way. Peter Loubardias is, you could say, a creator of efficiencies. People who can create efficiences like that make banana's money on Wall Street, yo. Think of what Peter is giving up to do this job. Man is a saint.

Beyond being popular with the team he covers, Peter Loubardias is also popular within the organization he serves. Because many of the Rogers Sportsnet team that covers the Flames came up through the slime that is the grind of Junior hockey themselves, they respect and appreciate Peter Loubardias. You might think such professional inbreeding would lead to the creation of an environment where the truth, perhaps about things like, oh we don't know, how good the play-by-play sounds, would be suppressed in the name of harmony. You would be wrong. Everyone at Sportsnet can see what we see when they look at Peter Loubardias...a world class broadcaster, or at the very least, a broadcaster who does not suck.

And honestly, professional obligations aside, how couldn't you not like Peter, if you worked at Sportsnet? Peter is always available to work either the TV side or the radio side. Flexible working hours are nothing to sneeze at in this day of over-committed nuclear families. Besides, the corporate masters at Sportsnet know when they put Peter on, he isn't going to embarrass them. You are going to get wholesome, family entertainment, with safe, politically correct, contemporary commentary, and they don't have to worry about Peter expressing any controversial opinions. He isn't the loose cannon his predecessor is.

And Peter looks like he has his health. We are assuming he pays his taxes. He claims he doesn't do drugs, which is more than some people can claim. He looks like a guy who gets road rage, doesn't he? We like those people. You know he sings better than anyone in the Black Eyed Peas. All good reasons to conclude that Peter Loubardias, despite what can only be described as brilliant and genius arguments to the contrary by his critics, does in fact not suck.
* You all know, we're sure, but some background just in case:

- We bet Andrew Walker of the FAN960 on the outcome of the Super Bowl

- Andrew Walker owns an Aaron Rodgers jersey. That's a girls jersey, Mr. Walker

- Mendenhall**

- We lost the bet

- We now owe the world one pro-Loubardias article

- Where are the periods on the end of these sentences?

** Legursky, you let a guy get by you, so the reason Mendenhall gets hit hard enough to fumble the ball is because of you. We notice that shit.

The opinions expressed here-in are in no way consistent with the thoughts, ideas, and expressions of the author or authors of this website. Peter Loubardias does in fact suck. Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


  1. I just don't know anymore when you guys are lying to me or not.


  2. *sad trombone sound

    I really wished that you had been able to do this without the asterixes and the the footnote. That would have been a true payment of your gambling debts.

    If I were Walker I'd say you put too many caveats in this peiece for it to count.

  3. G.James

    Penis touching is only to motivate them!

  4. You left out the best part about Loubardias not sucking! He always has great trivia knowledge to pass along! For example, did you know that Adam Pardy was from BonaVista, Newfoundland?

    I didn't before I listened to Loubardias!

  5. I think the guy does a first class job. He is passionate, loves doing Flames games, and is off the charts when it comes to knowledge of the game. When comparing he and Roger Millions, it is a TKO in Round One. Peter is smoother, more passionate, and can make a dull game actually seem interesting.

    Say what you want, but not only does he not suck, he's DAMN good.


  6. I get a kick out of how people just think anyone could be a pbp guy. They think it's easy. It is hard work. I have many friends in media and EVERY single one of them are blown away by Loubardias' knowledge. His mind for stats and numbers is freakish I'm told. Never met him, just saying what everyone tells me.

    We are lucky to have Peter.

  7. Dear Tood, and other Peter lovers:

    Peter may be more passionate about hockey than anyone out there, and have more knowledge about the game, as DB pointed out, but he is none of those things in terms of the Calgary Flames, the team he is supposed to cover. PBP guys are supposed to be homers unless they are national, but we never get any indication he is a historian of the team, or he would kill for its success. FUCK PETER in short. Rogers at least had the teams back. And in this day of total media integration for tv, radio, internet, and newspapers, lets kick this junior quality a-hole off the air, and get the BEST IN THE WORLD Peter Maher, as they all work for Rogers. Also, people think that we criticize PBP b/c we think we could do a better job, but that's just stupid, and not true. No one can do better then Good Ol' JR. Any real sports fan however, has an appreciation for good PBP, and can tell crap from the good stuff. Its the luxury the people not in media can have, we can think for our selves and do not have to worry about pissing off any king makers. BTW could you imagine PeterLou doing a baseball game? I would be hoping that i could get hit with the bat. At the end of the day, the media are alot like liberals, shoving what they think is good down their bosses, the fans throat. B/C they know better!

  8. Because of the caveats, it really is insufficient in terms of debt payment.

    That said, I should have known that a pro-Lou article was still going to be an anti-lou article, and seeing as though we're friends, I should not be encouraging you to write either.

    creative though.



  9. I'd have to lose a bet to say something nice about PLou, too.

  10. For the life of me I cannot understand what the issue with the caveats are. It's like a post script, totally seperate.

    And I thought it was a good, friendly article, myself. I think I still owe a cigar. It's coming. Heck, maybe ill send Loubo one too.

  11. Our crew's invented a Peter Loubardias drinking game. It is awesome and highly effective. That is all.

  12. I googled who else hates Peter Loubardias and I found this web page. Need I say more?

  13. I myself am from MN and of course am a WILD fan but i LOVE Peter Loubardias' style. His dynamics going from soft spoken to REALLY excited are awesome. Also unlike other play by play guys he uses less words and talks slower. Its better to just say "Iginla, Glencross! SCORRES." Rather than "Iginla with the puck, iginla passes over to glencross, glencross shoots! HE scores!" Less words, more exciting, unique voice. I'd learn to love it Calgary fans...cause our play by play guys in MINNY are unknowledgable fat doughy office guys.

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