Friday, November 12, 2010

Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award

It's Friday, and that means one thing: beer and boobs!

Huh? What? Oh, yeah, you are right. It is also that time of the week when we present the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (the RTPIC)!

So, what happened this week? Brett Sutter got arrested. Oh, you heard about that? Ok, hmm. Well, we won't make him a nominee this week, but we still have a bountiful of choices to pick from.

Our first nominee is the adults at the G20 who told President Obama to cut the fucking spending and to stop printing dollars. After getting beat down at home by the Grand Old Party, and ruining the optics of his South-Asian vacation by pontificating on the vagaries of jihad, Obama was probably looking forward to the safe shelters of the world government types at the G20. Turns out a funny thing happened on the way to global central planning. Seems China, Britain, Germany, you know, actors who are otherwise known as America's bondholders, don't appreciate the idea of 'quantitattive easing', otherwise known as 'the making-the-currency-so-worthless-that-all-the-debts-(bonds)-held-in-that-currency-are-easily-paid-and-bread-cost-$10,000-a-loaf plan'. Why? What's the problem? Anyone not down America inflating it's way out this mess probably has a savings account. Nerd!

Our second nominee this week is Frank Gore's babies mom. Why? Because when she found out Frank Gore was cheating on her with her brothers babies mom (it's complicated), she decided to handle her business. Apparently, we now call jumping someone 'finding ways to arrange a street fight'. Anyways, Frank Gores spurned woman beat the hell out of Franks other woman, and we just think that's plumb awesome.

Our third nominee this week is Scott Boras and his attempt to sell Manny Ramirez to the Blue Jays as a 'mentor' to the young players. A mentor? What's Manny going to teach Escobar? How to do steroids and beat up 70 year old club house managers? How to quit on your team in the middle of a pennant race? How to sell BBQ's? While Manny has always brought the big thump at Skydome, he also quits on his teams in the middle of seasons, and costs 20 million dollars. Sounds like Manny would fit in a lot better on the Mets.

This weeks winner of the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award is: Goldust.

Why? Because he got married.

Oh, you kids!

Goldust is actually one of the oldest players of the WWF roster, so we are very happy that he has finally settled down. Congratulations.

Too bad about the divorce, though.

(We are going to bring back classic, story based RTPIC's next week. It's about time.)

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


  1. i think a good future nominee/winner for the RTPIC award would be the nhl player's biggest nemesis: the cab driver.

    also ? i love the fact that young brett was so hammered that he passed out on the floor of the jail cell. some people call that "a few too many domebeers," but i think young brett calls it "wednesday."

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