Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I Wonder If The Dome Beers Guys Went To Raw

Last night was a historic one for the City of Calgary.

Amid all the hand wringing about low turnout and civic disengagement, much of which turned out to be the paranoid braying of the pundit class, a show did indeed go on.

And after it was all over, a young city had to experience a changing of the guard.

Yes, last nights WWE RAW was that epic. What, you thought we were talking elections? We didn't even vote.

No, we spent last night in the cozy confines of the Saddledome, surrounded by costume wearing girls (love costume wearing girls, by the way) jersey wearing guys, proud parents, and screaming children. Lots of screaming children.

Did we mention how we got tickets to the event? You know how we hate to name drop here, but not on this occasion. A wrestler who will remain nameless got us tickets to the event. Fuck it, his name is Harry Smith, proud member of the Hart Dynasty, and he, not the Miz, is awesome.

This is a bad photo of a bad dude
Got us nice tickets too. Which we appreciate, as he probably had to find tickets for everybody coming back to one of his stomping grounds.

Hey, DB, are you telling us about wrestling just so you could tell us you know a wrestler? Yeah, pretty much. Well, also so we could talk about Bret Hart.

Bret Hart was making what was billed as his final performance in WWE. Because we are dealing with wrestling, we are feeling pretty safe in our assumption that that is a bunch of bullshit, but who knows. Anyways, in what could possible maybe be his last show, in his home town, Bret Hart screwed the fans.

Now, it wouldn't be fair to him for us to just accuse him of mailing in a performance without us giving the disclaimers. It may have been that the writers for that show were stupid and couldn't figure out a coherent way to work Bret into the show without jacking up the storyline. We highly doubt this was the case, however.

Let's get into why we think Hart screwed the paying customer (a rank of file that we are not included in, because a freakin wrestler got us into the show). The show is going on, and it's basically a pimp job for whatever PPV WWE has coming out next. Fine, that's cool, but it's suppose to be Bret's last show. And because of that, the 'We Want Bret' chants are going off like James Harrison at Browns game.

Bret doesn't come out. This is good, this is real good. It's called foreplay, and we are happy to see that the producer is engaging the crowd with it. Anticipation, as any man who stalks all girl Catholic schools will tell you, is essential to the process of having a good time.

The matches go on, the videos they show at the show go on and on and on, but eventually, the thing ends, we are off live TV, and still no Bret. Now the crowd really starts chanting. One minute, two minutes, 3 minutes of agony before they hit the music.

The crowd goes Brendan Morrison.

The ring announcer announces (that's not an awkward sentence) a 4 way fight for the WWE Championship Belt. Bret Hart walks down to the stage, and the whole stadium is on their feet, clapping and screaming. The ovation may have lasted 5 minutes, which is a pretty long time when you are in it.

But then 3 wrestlers make their way to the ring. One of them is the champion, and so they wrestle and it's ok but because the match is a dark one (that is, not on TV) you pretty much know that the champion is going to win. Bret Hart does not get into the ring, and just walks around the ring, talking to the fans.

The match ends and the WWE's current bad guy, some guy who looks like the wendies girl, is in the ring 'knocked out'. The champion calls Bret into the ring, and the crowd once again goes nuts. Bret Hart puts the Sharpshooter on the bad guy, and the Dome's dome gets blown off.

But that was it. Bret was in the ring for maybe 30 seconds, he threw 2 punches and put a Sharpshooter on a guy. It was about the minimum amount of work that he would have been able to get away with. What? Aren't we this cats 'home town'? Isn't this his home arena? Bret can't go out for a final match?

Whatever. We guess we should be happy he even showed up.
...

Calgary, AZR here. I live in Ward 11. Last night, it appears that we may have re-elected the city's biggest tool, Brian Pincott. On behalf of the people in Ward 11 with brains, I would like to apologize to the rest of the city. I'm sorry we re-elected a man who worked as a set designer, who ran failed provincial campaigns for the NDP, who wants to bulldoze the Sandy Beach so he can build a monument to himself, to city council again. It wasn't my fault, but I will try to fix it next election. Again, I am sorry, Calgary, that Ward 11 is stupid.
...

Nenshi did it. Congratulations Nenshi. But Calgary, really? Naheed Nenshi lives at home with his parents. He is 38 years old. We just elected a 38 year old who lives at home Mayor of Calgary.

That, in a word, is insane. Please don't get us wrong, we aren't apologizing to the rest of Canada because of his election, he isn't Brian PincottNenshi. Please don't get us wrong here.

But electing a 38 year old who lives at home to be mayor is nuts. Not like letting politicians set the price of gas nuts, but sending monkeys into outer space nuts. It just isn't...orthodox.

Nenshi has loaded parents (that's what 'Harvard degree' means). He is living in their mansion. He worked as a professor (he taught marketing, another thing that makes us a little uneasy) so he has had a job with a real paycheque. Now he is Mayor, another job that comes with a paycheque. We don't care how ballin your parents house is, Nenshi. It's time to move out, no?

You are the Mayor, after all.

Actually, without knowing much about the cat (we heard he lived at home from Linda Olsen) we must suspect that he is single. Ladies, start your engines.
...

TJ Brodie may have completed P90X in 3 days, but that wasn't good enough for the GM, as the kid was sent down today.

Our thoughts? Well, the only image we can recall of young 66 was from that game against Florida (or something) where he was left on the point, alone, during the PP, and the kid looked like he knew he was a rookie. He looked like he didn't want the puck on his stick, and he didn't want to be running the PP. He didn't look like he belonged. That's the PP where Gio basically grabbed the puck from him and tried to go one man show. If he was pissing Gio off with the kid rookie act, it's probably best he isn't on the roster.

The NHL is elite level. Elite level means eat or be eaten. If TJ was showing any fear of the moment, the stage, whatever, then he isn't ready and should be sent down. It was a nice little exercise in PR for the Flames to be able to go 'See, see? We develop kids too.' but it's time to win some games, and bringing the best roster possible is one way to do that.

Or TJ Brodie can be sent down, and Steve Staios can't be without having to cut him a cheque.
...

Brendan Mikkelson is the new guy on the team, claimed off waivers from the Ducks. We don't know anything about the cat, except his bloodline. Sister is a gold medal hockey player, his father was a NHLer, and he is Canadian. The Kansas City Star describes him as a smooth skater.

Who knows. We are inclined to believe that the administration wants this guy sitting in the press box over Brodie. If Sarich is getting the treatment because they are trying to get him to waive the NMC, then having a guy who can play some minutes in the NHL sitting the press box as a threat to him isn't bad at all. We just don't know if Mikkelson can play.
...

Before we forget, everybody give some dap to Ian White. Not for his play, obviously, but for his charity. He gives away tickets to members of the Armed Forces, which we love. The whole team should be doing it, but at least one of them is. Good on you, Mr. White.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

5 comments:

  1. Didn't vote, eh? Too bad. I sometimes enjoyed reading your blog.
    -Beeker

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  2. With all the politician talk on this website, I'm going to assume he voted and was just making a joke. Of course, that's becasuse I actually read his blog.

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  3. I live in Ward 11 as well and I was damn pissed off that Pincott won, the guy is simply brutal.

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  4. I heard NenSHE was gay

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  5. Yeah, homeboy's parents are fucking loaded! That's why he grew up in the exclusive neighbourhood of Marlborough.

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