Kirkwood's ass bailed. Bailed! Because we like the guy we wont talk about how we send these things out Wednesday, and he bailed Friday evening. But we will say that we are disappointed with his decision (it's called using the T.V. as a babysitter, dude), as we know all the Domebeer-aholics are, too. Hopefully he reverses his decision.
But we don't have a replacement panelist for this week. We are working on getting someone for next week, obviously. If you have forgotten, the panel includes AZR, P-Sizzle (Pat Steinberg), and J R Smoove (Jared Ramsden).
Anyways, now that the unpleasantness has been dealt with, let's get on to the picks.
NFL WEEK 4
Panthers V Saints (-13.5)
AZR: Saints. Drew abuses the Panthers secondary like it was Jason Smith's wife.
P-Sizzle: Ugh, Carolina is terrible. At home, the Saints easily cover.
J R Smoove: This one could get ugly fast. Saints should bounce back at home against a woeful Panthers squad.
49ers V Falcons (-6.5)
AZR: Falcons. This could be the end of Singletary's coaching career.
P-Sizzle: Loved Atlanta last week, very efficient…but I think San Fran picks up their first win, so they'll cover.
J R Smoove: 49ers have been brutal and will be 0-4 after this one. However, I like them to keep this one close. Falcons win, 49ers cover.
Lions V Packers (-14.5)
AZR: Lions cover. That's a lot of points in a rivalry game.
P-Sizzle: With GB's suspect O-line, I think Suh does some damage for Detroit…15 is too much, the Lions cover here.
J R Smoove: Huge line. And Detroit let me down last week, but I'm going to pick them to cover again. Just too many points.
Broncos V Titans (-7.5)
AZR: Going with the Broncos and their airshow.
P-Sizzle: Tennessee wins by 10 here.
J R Smoove: I like the Titans at home here. Broncos tough to get a read on.
Godzilla V King Kong
AZR: The Big 'Zilla!
P-Sizzle: Godzilla breathes fire. Case closed.
J R Smoove: Godzilla owns!
Ravens V Steelers (-0.5)
AZR: Steelers. When Ray Lewis won't talk shit before a game, you know the Ravens is scared.
P-Sizzle: Steelers ravaged Joe Flacco last year…and they look good. Pittsburgh wins at home.
J R Smoove: Best game of the week. Give me the Ravens, Steelers miss Big Ben this week.
Bengals (-3.5) V Browns
AZR: Bengals. Browns play like their namesake, which is shit.
P-Sizzle: Carson Palmer finally looks like a QB here…I'll take the Bengals to win, mostly cause I need Palmer to sack up for my fantasy team.
J R Smoove: Browns. I smell an upset here. Why, I don't know. Just a gut feeling. These two teams always seem to have wild and crazy games.
Jets (-3.5) V Bills
AZR: The line might as well be -29.5. Pick Jets.
P-Sizzle: Revis won't play. Jets still win by 10 or more.
J R Smoove: Only 4.5 points? Really? Fat chance (insert Rex Ryan joke here) the Bills score as much as they did last week. Jets in a romp.
Seahawks (-1.5) V Rams
AZR: Call me stupid, but I'll buy into the shit-hawks this week.
P-Sizzle: A divisional matchup, and I'll take the Rams at home…they've shown some nice flashes offensively.
J R Smoove: Ugly game, however both teams won last week, go figure. Give me the Rams at home, still don't trust Seattle on the road.
Blonde V Brunette
AZR: Blonde. Like on one of the sights goalies.
P-Sizzle: I like both…but also have a thing for redheads. Julianne Moore…wow.
J R Smoove: Brunettes, blondes just don't do it like they used to.
Colts (-8.5) V Jaguars
AZR: Jags always play the Colts tough. With that said, pick Colts.
P-Sizzle: The Jags just can't get it together. Indy on the road to cover.
J R Smoove: If the Jags can't stop the Eagle offense, good luck against the Colts. Manning and Co win this one easy.
Texans (-3.5) V Raiders
AZR: The highest paid DB in the league VS the best WR in the league. Call me crazy, but we are picking the Raiders.
P-Sizzle: Even though they're on the road, Houston bounces back from that frustrating Dallas game…high scoring, but Texans win by at least 4.
J R Smoove: Raiders failed in epic fashion last week, even though they covered. Now they face an angry Texans team. Houston wins and covers.
Redskins V Eagles (-5.5)
AZR: Eagles. Mike Vick kills another dog when he goes against the Haynesworth led defence.
P-Sizzle: The McNabb Bowl goes to…the Eagles. The Eagles are just better, and the 'Skins have crumpled when it matters thus far.
J R Smoove: More Vick please! Eagles win this one, but I think the Skins keep this NFC East rivalry close.
Cardinals V Chargers (-8.5)
AZR: Cardinals barely beat the Raiders. Pick Chargers.
P-Sizzle: That's too big a number for an inconsistent Chargers team. Cardinals cover.
J R Smoove: I am a biased Chargers fan, but they should be 3-0, minus special team let-downs. The bounce back at home in a big way and cover this one.
Harley V Hayabusa
AZR: Harley. Shit's bad ass, plus it comes with a seat. My ass needs the comfort.
P-Sizzle: Hayabusa no question. I have a childhood dream to race MotoGP. I just came out less insane than I hoped, nixing that dream.
J R Smoove: Not a bike guy, but gimme a Hayabusa!
Bears V Giants (-3.5)
AZR: I can't understand the Giant hype. Pick the Bears.
P-Sizzle: Great Sunday nighter…but the Giants put it together here with a balanced attack, something the Pack didn't have Monday vs. the Bears.
J R Smoove: Interesting game. Giants seem to be self-destructing though, and Cutler seems to be for real. Give me the Bears to win and cover.
Patriots (-1.5) V Dolphins
AZR: Patriots win by a field goal, at least.
P-Sizzle: Don't like New England's D, and I like what Miami is doing with a nice, efficient offence. Miami covers.
J R Smoove: Pats leaky defense is a problem. They can keep this close, but I like the Dolphins at home in this one.
Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.