Tuesday, October 12, 2010

A Curtain?!?

Scotiabank Saddledome

The Flames got a new sponsor for the Saddledome, Scotiabank. Scotiabank likes to call itself ‘Canada’s hockey bank’, so this partnership, we guess, makes sense. Except what the hell is a ‘hockey bank’? Is that different than a straight vanilla consumer deposit bank? Does Scotiabank not do mortgages, unless they are for hockey rinks? Is the trading desk at Scotiabank focused on how printing money is going to affect commodity prices or how the Calgary Flames are going to clear salary cap space when Langkow gets healthy?

Really, we here at Dome Beers are big fans of corporations trying to incorporate and appropriate a nations cultural touchstone’s in marketing advertisements for children’s bank accounts. With that said, we do get what Scotiabank is trying to do, and the branding of the Saddledome fits that strategy.

Still, we have a few thoughts/questions on the whole deal. First, the length of the deal is a little strange, because a 10 year deal is a very short one. Usually these things get signed for 15 – 20 years, as the stadium isn’t going anywhere. But that’s the thing, right? We all know that in the dreams of the Flames, the Saddledome is going somewhere…namely, the garbage bin.

So what to make of the 10 year deal? We could make several things of this deal. Obviously, the first and probably most likely is that the Flames plan on being in the Saddledome for another 10 years. They have discussed things amongst themselves, have gone to the province and the G-men, have seen the mene, mene, tekel, upharsin (get it? Writing on the wall, get it?), and have decided that they will push for a new stadium in 10 years. This will allow them to get themselves in a better position to fund the construction, ect.

Who knows? The cynic in us can see another scenario unfolding. The Flames have been pushing for a new stadium for a couple of years now. One would assume that the timeline the Flames have is much shorter than to wait for 10 years. In fact, all indications out of the Flames organization would point to a timeline in the 5 year range. They would like a new stadium sooner than later.

So take the fact that we know the naming deal is for 10 years, which is relatively short, and the fact that the team wants a new building built earlier than when the naming deal runs out… could the Flames be trying to take the naming rights revenue off the table in any potential deal with the government?

We don’t think it is too crazy to ask. The Flames were clearly angling to try to get some government funding for their new building earlier this year. Which is fine for them to do: special interest groups lobby the government for handouts and perks all the time. The reaction from the masses may have surprised the Flames. People were not happy about the fact that they may be building a billionaire a new stadium for his hockey team in the middle of the current economic climate.

When impasses like this used to happen, the Flames would usually play the ‘fine, but then we will have to move the team to a better market’ card. Well, what with the Americans making their money worthless through over active printing presses, and coupled with the fact that we have seen what the greener pastures of an American market looks like (we are talking about you, Phoenix) that threat doesn’t come across as believable anymore.

So the Flames, in their quest for corporate welfare, may have to actually negotiate. Well, what’s to negotiate over? If the Flames use public money to build a private stadium, the public is going to be owed some compensation. They can argue over rent, over concessions, over parking, over a number of things. Some of those things are easier for one party or the other to negotiate over. It would be very easy for the government, provincial or federal, to say that ‘Hey, we built the stadium, we want the naming rights revenues’. Who knows, the government may go all loopy and deny naming revenues by using the stadium as an advertising platform: The Southern Alberta Sports Stadium, or something.

The Flames may be hedging their negotiating position with this move. If the stadium is built within the next 10 years, they can claim they have a contract in place with Scotiabank that can’t be changed until it runs out. Naming rights revenue off the table.

Maybe. We could be off base completely: Scotiabank bought the naming rights to the Saddledome, so a new stadium may be free game for sponsors. We haven’t seen the contract, we don’t know if the naming rights Scotiabank purchased get transferred if the Flames move into a new stadium. You would think that, Scotiabank being a bank, they would be, but who knows, maybe ‘hockey banks’ operate differently.

Mike Ribeiro Gets Caught Acting Like Mike Ribeiro

He chose to use 'Fierce' for his mugshot

Domebeer-aholics, you know how we like our drunk hockey players behaving badly stories. It’s taken a little while, but the good people of Dallas have provided us one in the form of Mike Ribeiro. Everybody point and laugh at the drunken Frenchman.

Mike’s 30 years old. Mike has millions in the bank. Some advice from us to Mike: Mike, get a girl, get a house, get a car, and get grown up. It’s not like a major sports team has made you one of the foundations of its franchise, or anything like that.

We bring the Ribeiro acting like Ribeiro thing up not to make fun, but to point out that if you click on the story they have up on TSN, you will discover that they have closed comment on the story. So, just to make sure we are all clear, when an athlete who doesn’t play hockey gets into trouble the comments to those stories will be opened for every one liner the readers can think up, but when an athlete who plays hockey gets into trouble, they obviously must be protected, and the comments will be closed.

To be honest, we were a little shocked they ran the story in the first place, TSN being an advertising operation, and not a news one.

Home Opener

Home opener was LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME, Calgary. Last year, they had like a light show on the ice, and it was pretty cool. This year they hung a curtain down in the middle of the ice and projected boring player introductions on to it. Which was LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME, Calgary. The sheet didn’t even fall right, and some guy had to repel down to free it off a speaker and save the whole LAAAAAAAAAAAAAME endeavor.

We hate to be sexist (because we love the ladies), but we are going to be: that whole thing had to be designed by a woman who doesn’t watch hockey. Or a guy who is really, really into theatre.

Honestly, a fucking curtain? Why not just trot out the purple wearing trapeze artists? It wouldn’t have been any worse. You really get the feeling that whoever is running that department for the Flames doesn’t get their work reviewed. There is just no way in hell that the head of that department went up to Darryl Sutter and told him they would be dropping a curtain in the middle of the ice and projecting the intro onto it.

So to recap: last year they had an ill laser show which featured fire on the ice. This year they had a curtain. LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME, Calgary.

That wasn’t the only thing we had a problem with. The music hasn’t gotten any better, the MC’s at the Dome felt that it would be better to play techno music than to play some country. As we discussed with our fellow patrons in the beer line, techno fucking sucks. Certainly there is a place for it, which would be at the club when we want to see girls writhe, but at the Saddledome? At one point they played the Mortal Kombat theme followed by Sandstorm. Enough! Where’s Merle Haggard?

And we are pretty sure that they did not, DID NOT, play ‘The Hockey Song’. What the fuck is going on with the music over there?

Finally, a word on the beer at the ‘Dome. It’s spectacular. Upon returning from the beer line with some fresh beer from the bowels of the facility, we saw that Beerguy just happened to be situated by our seats, so we put our two fresh beers down and got two more, this time from the can. The difference between the two was visible. The beer from the kegs hidden deep inside the ‘Dome was much darker than the canned variety. Tastier too. It also made us 10 times more attractive to the girls than the canned variety, which was nice.

At least they still do something right down at the stadium.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


  1. 1. that was not a curtain, that was a monster sized bedsheet.

    2. the monster sized bedsheet really only served to make half of the paying audience miss the players skate onto the ice behind it, during the intros.

    3. the flames hired a new entertainment coordinator in the past month or so. i applied for the job but didn't even get an interview. i guess they wanted someone with ideas like "huge blanket forts." i don't think that big, so they obviously got the right guy.

  2. I will now start the campaign to get WI hired as the entertainment coordinator.

  3. your scotiabank take is pure crazy. Zoolander reference is funny though

  4. I will now start the campaign to get WI hired as the entertainment coordinator.

    i presume this is sarcasm. if it's not, i'm afraid. ;)

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