Friday, August 27, 2010

Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award


It's Friday, and that means just one thing: 100 guns, 200 clips, heading to New York, New York.

What? Huh? Oh, that's right. It is also that time of the week when we present the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (the RTPIC)!

Where to start? Let's go with a nonsports to sports spectrum. Remember when a lot of really stupid bank managers thought that housing priced could never go down, bet the bank (literally) on such an idiotic notion, and then lost everything? Remember when, because they are politically connected, the stupid bank managers managed to get bailed out? Remember how this move kept the stupid bank managers in control of the assets they had mismanaged? Yeah...turns out that keeping unscrupulous, stupid people running the banks wasn't that great of an idea. When a bank that has been (wrongly) called 'systematically important' and 'too big to fail' is using the same accounting tricks that banks in China use when they want to cook their numbers, it isn't a very healthy sign for the banking system in general, we think. While we are on the subject of 'fake assets', we have to bring to your attention the curious situation of strippers protesting the construction of a church. On a scale of 1 to awesome, this is clearly awesome. The strippers are mad that the church congregants protest the bar where the strippers work. And as the good book says, 'Do Unto Others...'. Sticking with the bizarre, a 'ghost hunter', looking for 'ghost trains' got his brains smashed out when he was hit by a real train. Yeah, nothing much more we need to add to that. Oh...The CBA is so jacked that the league is about to lose one of it's marquee players to a joke league that operates out of Siberia...which is nice. And the players union still can't convince Donald Fehr to sign on to their sinking ship.

This weeks winner of the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award: Man Eaters.



Seriously...was everyone in the '80's high? Like all the fucking time?

Usually when we hear 'man-eaters' we get excited. A chance to get used, abused, and then tossed away like Antti Niemi is our idea of a good, wholesome fun.

But in this case we are just...what's the word? We are scared, confused, and intrigued all at the same time. Very much like how Andrew Walker feels when he watches Victoria's Secret commercials. Or Phaneuf before a book.

You kind of have to feel sad, though, for some of these women. Past their prime, desperately holding on, moving from team to team in the hopes of capturing some of that magic feeling from their youth. There is a word for this type of behavior. That word is 'Shaquille'.

You know what? Five girls, seemingly strung out, don't know where they are. Singing vaguely as a team, we guess, but it really looking more like five individuals. Reminds us a lot of the BC Lions starting O-Line.

Anyways, Man Eaters, you all right. And for being so accommodating, you win this week's Roman Tureks Profile In Courage Award. 

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

10 comments:

  1. i will never understand how hall and oates (and, most specifically, oates' fine specimen of a moustache) didn't even get a MENTION in this post.

    infact, i would like to nominate john oates' moustache for a future installment of the RTPIC award.

    ReplyDelete
  2. @ WI
    Hall and Oates was the first thing I thought of when I read "maneater".

    If Oates' moustache is in the running what about Hall's mullet? Icons I say.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh man, thanks a lot. Now I have only one thing stuck in my head: "M-E-T-H-O-D-O-F-L-O-V-E/ The method of modern love". And yes, I do believe that everyone in the '80s was high as an effin' kite (safety pin piercings? leg warmers? Don Johnson had a regular job?).

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey, why not butt hole surfers?

    ReplyDelete
  5. I had a different thing than maneaters originally, but I changed it. I didnt even think of H&O, and now I feel like a fucking idiot. Of course they should have been up there for 'maneaters' (we originally had cannibal eaters, but it didn't flow).

    Butthole Surfer lead singer went all Kramer with it and got racist about blacks at a show. So no RTPIC.

    ReplyDelete
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