Tuesday, July 20, 2010

What The Hell Should We Write About?


As it stands today, the Jays are 9.5 games back in both their division and in the wildcard standings. The season is over. Thanks for getting the team that closer that they needed to compete, Rogers.

Kevin Gregg...scouts are watching you, dude. We don't care how much you love the T dot O. We don't care you are a loser who is allergic to winning environments. We hate you, asshole. You can't close games. You're fucking worthless.

The poor GM of the Jays is trying to get you off the fucking team. He invites some scouts down to watch you, he puts his reputation on the line for your ass. How do you reward him? You blow a save to Kansas City? KANSAS CITY!?

You know what, Gregg? You are actually what this team needs. The more you appear, the more L's appear on the Jays record, which means the Jays will get better draft picks.
And while we are trying to collect L's...why are John Buck, Jose Bautista, and Lyle Overbay still on this team?

Rogers is notoriously cheap. You would think they would relish the chance to shed salary.


Is it just us, or have the Stamps been boring as shit this year?

Change that shit, Lewis!

We will be in Arizona for the next two weeks, which means we miss the Stamps vs Riders game. It also means we won't be catching gonorrhea from consoling some young, poor, sad Rider fan over the beat down her team just suffered at the hands of Smiling Hank.

Maybe it will be on the NFL Network. NFL Network: Better than the NHL Network, not as good as the MLB Network.


AZR is fucking ecstatic Sweet Lou got fired. Now, just fire the GM and the players and we might get somewhere.


Domebeer-aholics, we are about to present some numbers. Get ready.

The Flames scored 201 goals last year. Will we score more this year? We think...yes!

So what we did was take the players shot totals over their entire career and divided it by their games played to come up with Shots/Games Played. We took this number and then decided to multiply it by 82 to try to come up with the amount of shots they would generate in a season. We then took this number and multiplied it by the players historical shooting percentage, which gave us the amount of 'goals' that would get scored in the 'season'. The goals have been rounded.

Now, what we didn't do was the fourth line players. We also didn't do Pardy or Kronwall, because as of now Staios and Sarich are still sucking up the roster. We also included Kotalik, for the same reasons. Also, Ian White is there, even though we are curious as to whether or not he remains a Flame. If Sutter can do one thing, it's sign players to contracts, so we assume the deal gets done.

Drumroll please. Start with the offense.

Would you look at that: six 20 goal scorers!

And now the defence.

That's what it is, people. Obviously, it isn't perfect. We have Staios scoring 5 goals, which is a big red flag as to whether or not the model is correct. Also, as you can probably tell, we don't factor in anything like time on ice, or zone starts or any of that jazz into the model (for instance, Ian White isn't going to be starting in the offensive zone 70% of the time or whatever he was like when he was back in Toronto, which will affect the numbers). Also, a lot of these guys are from the East, which means, Stajan, your numbers are coming down as well. Keep the warts in mind when you look at the charts.

Anyways, Domebeer-aholics, we count 209 + 34 = 243 goals. We scored 201 last year. +42.

Look, we aren't that thrilled with the way the team looks. With that said, some of these numbers are believable. Most of the guys, well, all of the guys not named Jarome, are in the 15-20 goal range. And that seems to mesh with reality. What doesn't mesh with reality is the 82 games played from every player, which won't happen. Still, what can injury kill? 20, 30 goals? That would still be an improvement over last year!

So there is some hope on a Tuesday. Is 243 goals enough to win the conference? Fuck no. Is it enough to make 8th place? Should be.

Should Darryl be commended for building an 8th place team? No, obviously not. 8th place teams don't win Stanley Cups. They lose in the Finals. But of course, the mouth breathing Flame fans who cheer cheer cheer will be happy with it (wave to the CP forum users). And keeping the casual fan happy is what this team seems to be all about. 

Now...how to figure out how much we are going to get scored on with no NHL caliber top line to speak of.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should get fired.


  1. inneresting. i'll be delighted (though more likely dead from the shock) if iggy scores more than 25.

  2. Who is the blonde playing RW this week DB (black outfit)? Daddy likes.

    WI I'm waiting for some updates on your sites. I need some content peeps!

  3. Its the chick from the 5th element I think. It's either her or Stamos's exwife.

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