Friday, July 30, 2010

Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award

It's Friday, and that means one thing: Stewardess poon.

What? Huh? Oh, that's right. It's also that time of the week when we award the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (the RTPIC)!

So, what happened this week? Let's take a look. Barb Higgins officially announced that she wants to be Mayor Bronco's third term, which was...special. She also dapped the city council, which means she is stupid, or she thinks you are. Honestly, saying Mayor Bronco did a good job is pretty retarded. This guys claim to fame is he bought all the land along the areas he got the city to develop, with your tax dollars, so he could sell it at a fat profit. Class act, that Bronco. And dapping a city council that fired the city auditor after she revealed council was basically stealing and wasting our money? Let's just hope she can get her job back at Channel 3. Keeping on the topic of corrupt politicians, we turn our attentions to the Democrat controlled American Congress. Charlie Rangel, the guy who controlled the body in congress responsible for taxes didn't pay his. That quote from Nancy Pelosi about Democrats 'draining the swamp' in Washington is really a gift that keeps on giving for the GOP. Let's get off left wing nuts and get onto some strippers. A volunteer ambulance company in New Jersey is hosting Lebron James-esque parties, featuring prostitutes and strippers. You know, suddenly universal healthcare doesn't seem so bad.

This weeks winner of the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award: Brian Bews.

Talk about 'Project Bad Ass', eh?

Mr. Bews is the pilot who decided to try to see if he could shave his face with the wing of his CF-18 Hornet. The CF-18 Hornet is the plane the Liberal Party of Canada is pissed Harper is trying to replace. You know, why replace such a safe plane?

Anyways, we here at Domebeers have the scoop on the whole story. It turns out Mr. Bews is a huge, huge Flames fan. He has a tattoo of the Flaming C on his neck. He has the entire roster of the '89 Stanley Cup winning team tattooed on his chest. He wore a tuxedo with the number 14 sewed into it's back for his wedding. Seriously, the guy bleeds yellow and red, and more recently, black as well.

But Mr. Bews has been overseas lately, fighting the enemies of freedom, because Mr. Bews knows that freedom isn't free. Because he has been overseas and focused on his mission, he lost track of some of the offseason moves made by his beloved team.

When Mr. Bews got back to Canada, he was assigned as a pilot to the Lethbridge Airshow. He was so busy getting resettled that he didn't have time to even click on TSN to catch up on his team.

But high(ish) above Lethbridge, Mr. Bews had time, he thought, to turn on his radio to the local sports channel. Coming out of the speaker was the news that the Flames had failed to buy out Ales Kotalik and Steve Staios. He heard about the reacquisition of Olli Jokinen. He heard about how the Flames didn't have the cap space to sign Ian White.

The shock of all that news was too much, even for a cold blooded defender of freedom. Momentarily incapacitated, he lost controlled his plane. The rest, as they say, is history.

For not killing himself when he heard about the continued mediocrity of his team, Mr. Bews wins this weeks Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.


  1. "He heard about how the Flames didn't have the cap space to sign Ian White."

    Thank god for +10% summer cap. He signed this morning... (and we are over)

  2. if you read that article on gus thorsen in the herald, you'll know that roman turek was the funniest dude gus ever met. which is, of course, awesomesauce.