Friday, July 23, 2010

Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award


It's Friday, and that means one thing: Senoritas!
What's that? Oh yeah! It is also that time of the week when we award the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (The RTPIC)!

There were a lot of nominees for this weeks award, let us tell you. First off the docket, why don't we piss some communists off. Remember when PM Harper lowered the GST from 7% to 5% and all you heard about was that it was a dumb move because you will lower government revenues (although starving the government of cash so it can't do dumb shit is to us a good thing)? Well, as it turns out, lowering taxes promotes economic behavior, which actually increases revenues. Now if only someone would tell Barry O and the Europeans. Actually, while we are on the topic of Barry, turns out he doesn't really mind that the people of Burma are slaves. With all the sucking up to dictators that the guy does (remember when he bowed down to the Saudi's?) this doesn't really surprise us. Hope and change, as long as you hope for the status quo and refuse to effect change. To finish off the topic of the red tide, Barb Higgins is preparing a bid for the top job of Mayor. We don't mind it, it will add some competition into the contest. The article we link to actually compares the girl to Ralph Klein. We can only hope that the author was referring to early, conservative Ralph, and not the corrupted, special interest beholden Ralph of the final years. Let's end the nominees with a light hearted one. Catholics, you might want to skip this. Hey Vatican, do you like fish dicks? Do you put fish dicks in your mouth? That makes you a gay priest. Honestly, priests going out and partying it up in the gay clubs? The hypocrisy of this institution is fucking disgusting. Anyways, those are your nominees.

The winner of this weeks Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award: Coach Huff, and The Speech.



Beat the Riders. For reals.

Seriously, we need to win this game. Huff better have a speech that is up to the task.

We don't care that the Riders are this big, bad, undefeated machine. Huff took Sheli Manning to the next level, and got him to beat the big, bad, undefeated Patriots. Durant wouldn't be allowed to lick Brady's jock strap, so we are pretty confident Huff is going to have Hank in a good place to beat down the team he left.

Remember that? When Hank's wife saw the reaction of the Rider fan when he dumped a bunch of shit on that kickers lawn and told Hank she wouldn't live in the inbred capital of Canada anymore? That was awesome, Rider fan. We got a Grey Cup out of that.

Seriously, doesn't Rider fan come off dumber than Darryl Sutter? Rider fan, try not to throw up on any kids in our stadium, or start a fist fight because somebody yells out 'Riders suck'. We would suggest you use the manners your mother taught you, but we all know Rider fans don't have mothers. They emerge from the vast piles of cow manure that dot the ugly Saskatchawhere landscape.

Honestly, why are they even let into the stadium? You know why they turned the stadium into a military zone? Rider fan. We want the city to either bar them from the stadium, or send them the bill for all the extra cops we have to employ at the stadium to make sure Rider fan doesn't have some temper tantrum when the 13th man runs onto the field and costs them, well, we don't know, how about a Grey Cup?

Honestly, how the hell do these...people even make it across the border? Oh yeah, that's right. They live in Calgary because Regina is such a jobless hell hole. You are in this city now, Rider fan. You've probably been in this city for like 5 years. Wear red.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired. HE'S A RIDER FAN!

4 comments:

  1. Good call Domebeers, can't wait to watch those dirtbag melonheads cry their way out of the stadium. My seasons are actually well positioned to be able to watch the shenanigans in the wings while still having a buffer of fellow Stamps fans to keep from getting run over.

    And how do they get over the border? I'm convinced they come up the river on innertubes, like Cubans floating onto the beaches in Florida. Communist refugees looking for freedom, lower taxes, and better opportunities for their 12 illegitimate kids.

    I'm sure once Huff learns he won the RTPIC this week he'll put a little something extra into his pre-game speech on Saturday. And remember - every time you hit the john to recycle your beer, some Rider fan in 'Toon town will soon be sipping your message out of their kitchen faucet.

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  2. I used to always say that the Riders were my 2nd favorite team (after the mighty Eskies) but that was when they were lovable losers. Since they won a Cup the fans have come out of the woodwork to increase the level of douchebaggery to never before seen heights.

    The thing that kills me the most is in the mid 90's the Riders were unbeleivably close to folding and couldn't sell a seat in their own barn. Now all of these douchebag so-called "fans" come out of the woodwork to say they are part of "Rider Nation" (see also 90% of Calgary Flames "fans" from April 2004-present).

    Nothing made me happier than when the Riders blew the Grey Cup on a boneheaded play. Watching the disbelief on their faces was delicious.

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  3. Oiler fans are just as stupid and have as many bandwagoners as flames fans, just talk to them!
    For example, they think Wayne Gretz wanted to stay in edmonton, and that he didnt request a trade. Edmontonians are not the St.Louis Cardinal fans of hockey, they just think they are!

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  4. oh rider fans have mothers but they are pulling double duty as there sisters as well

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