Friday, June 18, 2010

Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award

It's Friday, and that means just one thing: some hard pooping Saturday.

What the...? Yeah, yeah, you guys are right. It is also that time of the week when we award the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (RTPIC!).

Lots of nominees for the award this week. Where to start, where to start? How about we start from sportish and move to non sportish? Cool. Obviously then, we are going to start with Domebeer favourite Theo Fleury getting the ATP to write a play about him. We guess Carlin was right, rape can be funny. More amusing anecdotes about hockey players and misfortune? You got it. Sergie Fedorov had two of his homes in America forclosed on. Sergie Fedorov, not Joe Sixpack. We wish with all our hearts that Fedorov goes up to the banker, and politely explains to him that 'in Russia, mortgage pays you'! Pay your bills, communist. We are not done with hockey players yet. It turns out that Danny Briere hates truck drivers. Look Danny, we know traveling with young children can be annoying, but there are better ways to get them to shut the hell up then by trying to send them flying through your windshield. Now onto the nonsportish: Domebeer-aholics, did you ever pick on a Star Wars nerd? Apologize, as soon as you can. Why? Because they can now cut your head right the fuck off. Luke, don't kill your father. Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State, went down to South America and started making policy decisions for Barry Obama, President. The inmates run the asylum with this guy, it seems. Oh yeah, IT'S STILL LEAKING!!! As always, picking a winner proved to be a tough choice.

This weeks winner of the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award: Dad.

Ghost Dad's too...

Domebeer-aholics, you all got your Dad stories. The day your Dad taught you how to ride a bike, the day your Dad taught you how to how to fly a kite, the day your Dad taught you how to approach a prostitute...all great stories to be shared and cherished, for sure.

Remember the time Dad took you fishing? Boating? Biking? Yeah, those times were great. Dad and you really got to bond. What's that? Sorry, Danny Ryder, ignore this section.

But for the rest of us, Dad was there, and you should let him know how much you appreciate that. Why? Because you didn't end up a drunk slut, that's why.

Anyways...Dad's awesome. You know it, we know it, and although he is too humble to ever admit it, he knows it, too. Let him know how much you appreciate the cat. Give him a hug, give him a call, or if he is from Edmonton, give him your condolences. Just give him some acknowledgement. And some Milskey.

Oh yeah, you could also go ahead and give Loubardias his pink slips. Admit it, your Dad would be very happy if that happened. Kirkwood's available...

From all of us here at Domebeers to the legions of Domebeer-aholics throughout the world: Happy Fathers Day. On June 20th. JUNE TWENTIETH, Domebeer-aholics. That would be this Sunday.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.