Friday, May 28, 2010

Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award

It's Friday, and that means just one thing: time to acquire new and exotic STD's!

Huh? Oh yeah, that's right! It is also that time of the week when we present the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award (The RTPIC!).

Domebeer-aholics, it is a mad, mad world. Thank whatever particular deity you got a crush on that we live in Canada. Well, most of the Domebeer-aholics do. Our committed readers in America, Asia, and Europe live in crazy town. Let's start with the fading superpower, shall we? The child President continues to play the blame game over the oil leak in the Gulf Coast. We like how this oil has been leaking for the last 131565 days and the President still hasn't got the light bulb to simply sink a Navy Destroyer over the fucking hole. We guess $2.89 million dollars will buy a company some leeway. Moving on, we see that North Korea is trying to remind the rest of the world that they are still there, and Jamaica’s government can't arrest a drug dealer without starting a civil know what, fuck the depressing examples of failed societies...failing. We got funny news to get to. Indonesia has banned sexy pants for women. The male adherents to the religion of peace apparently can't be trusted not to rape a woman if they see her in jeans. Indonesia, your central banks overnight lending rate is 11%, and you're worried about sexy ladies walking around in tight jeans? Ladies and gentlemen, there is no segue that will do the next story justice, so we will just get to it: Some kid in New Jersey (where else) took a shit in his classmates soda, and his classmate drank said soda. As people who enjoy pranks, all we have to say is 'bravo'. Can you even comprehend the logistics that such a prank would require? Somehow you have to get the soda from the person who is about to be pranked without that cat noticing, shit into the soda without anyone noticing, get the soda back to the prankee without the person noticing the smell and the chunks of floating shit. Absolutely Bond. As always, it was a tough choice.

This weeks winner of the Roman Turek Profile In Courage Award: Garey Coleman

Domebeer-aholics, the Domebeers curse strikes again.

We had a different RTPIC winner planned, but when we woke up this morning to the news that everyones favourite midget actor was in bad shape in a hospital, we had to flip the script and name Mr. Coleman this weeks winner. And then the universe got wind we were pulling for Mr. Coleman's survival.

The Domebeers curse is a powerful force. It should not be taken lightly, and for the life of us, we do not know what we did to deserve it. Anything we pull for dies: the Flames, the Dow, and now Mr. Coleman.

With that said, we would like to wish long life and continued success to the following:
  • Loungo's Groin
  • Kesler's Shoulder
  • Matt Duchene's Hands
  • Havlat's Hamstrings
  • Todd's Bertuzzi's
  • Edmonton
Mr. Coleman, Rest In Peace.

Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.