Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Who Got Next
There is a lot of talk in this city about the the President of the Flames, Ken King, and his GM, Darryl Sutter. The talk centres around whether or not they should both be fired, should one of the two be fired, or should they both keep their jobs. Since Darryl joined King the team has averaged about 96 points a season (03 - 04 to 09 - 10), and has made the playoffs 5 of those 6 years. Mazel tuv.
During those 6 years, the Flames have won their division one time, 05 - 06, and have finished outside of the top 4 spots in the conference 5 times. To the best of our knowledge, teams that have the ability to win the Stanley Cup don't usually end up in the 5th, 6th, 7th, or 8th spots heading into the playoffs, Darryl's bullshit about how 'anybody has a chance in the playoffs' notwithstanding (everybody has a chance to get cancer, kids, so go ahead and smoke 8 packs a day. You want to be cool, right?).
If the current regime is turfed, certain voices say, who is going to steer the Good Ship Flames through the turbulent waters that lay ahead? Domebeers has your answer, you unimaginative media goofballs. Former Flame great, Hall of Famer, and ardent capitalist, Lanny McDonald.
Now Lanny is a busy man. He tours the world and makes mad bank through speaking engagements. He has his hands in real estate development out in Bear Mountain, Montana. He owns and manages world class restaurants. He pimps for the car dealership in this city, and he does a shitload of charity. You won't find a bigger supporter of the special people then one Lanny McDonald, and if you have peeped that little CNBC ad we have in the corner, you will know that at Domebeers, character counts.
Lanny is also a hockey guy. Hall of Famer, dontcha know? And he wasn't a checker, Darryl. Lanny was a goal scorer, and we would like to think that Lanny would appreciate skilled hockey players a little more than one Darryl Sutter does. Right, Tangs, Juice, and Cammo?
Being the busy, dynamic man that he is, what carrot would have to be offered to Lanny to get him to come to this organization? If the guy is going to have to drop all his duties and focus on the Flames on a full time basis, the GM post will not do it. Lanny is not going to come into town and have someone over him in the power structure. Lanny is not coming to town to get thrown under the bus by a President trying to save his job, if things don't go well next year.
So the GM position won't do it. The highest power position the Flames have is currently occupied by Ken King, the President position. If we are to get Lanny to come here, we will probably have to offer him the Presidency.
Now, we don't think Ken King is stupid. We think he is a good marketer. We are not saying to fire Ken King. What we are saying is that you should install Lanny in as the President, create a Vice President position for the guy who is going to be selling tickets and jerseys (Ken King or whoever Lanny prefers), and then you would have the GM position for your hockey guy (Darryl, or whoever Lanny replaces him with). Lanny would act in a 'Bill Parcels with the Miami Dolphins' like fashion, acting as the final say to the GM and the Coaches.
Besides creating a new layer of accountability, and a semblance of a check and balance system in the hockey operations department, hiring Lanny would also allow the Flames to make a number of sweeping changes that the fan base would otherwise not accept. This is all for fun at this point, because Domebeers does not advocate a traditional rebuild that would see Iggy and Kipper traded. But if the organization was going to go in that direction, Lanny would be able to do those moves without the fan base showing up at the Saddledome pitchforks in hand.
If you take a step back, what you see is the Flames organization is suffering very much from a crisis of confidence. The people who pay the bills, the fans, are spooked. There isn't a coherent narrative about the team emerging from them, which means that there is noise and uncertainty clouding their view of the situation, and hence, their judgement. In English, people just don't know. Darryl and King appeared to be competent managers, until this year, where they came off looking as the height of incompetence. This event has shattered the worldview of the fan base, and they don't know where to turn (turn to Domebeers, duh). Lanny McDonald would give the organization its credibility back, almost instantly.
Plus, the cats got one bad ass motherfucking mustache. Word.
Any thoughts on this brilliant plan, Lanny McDonalds Mustache?
Lanny McDonalds Mustache: Yeah. Darryl, when you get to the unemployment office, tell em Lanny sent ya!
Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.