Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Salmagundi

It has been too long, Domebeer-aholics. We missed you, too.

Vancouver (Burgles Turds)

What to talk about, what to talk about. Hmmm. Hey, you've all seen this, right?



Ha! That is some funny shit. Know what else is funny? Stats! Who wants to play?

Loungo? Sure. 3.19 GAA and a .880 SV% in 3 games. THREE DECIMAL POINT NINETEEN! His line from Game 3? If you insist. 16 SA, 12 Saves. In 33 minutes of ice. That's good for a .750 SV% on the night. Nice.

The other stat we noticed right away? Again, it comes courtesy of Game 3. Drumroll please: Kyle Wellwood, on the ice for 12:20, is a minus 2. Ha! Makes my tummy smile.

Flames (The Bums)

Hey, know who are Coach Killers? Iggy and Reggie. Yeah, those guy commit coachocide on a yearly basis. Will they strike this year? That seems to be the million dollar question. It would be nice if the two papers in town would get to covering it, but one can't expect the moon. You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

Know what else would be cool to see covered? Uhh, what the fuck is up with Darryl? Is that guy still employed, or like, are you waiting for someone to man up and tell him? Because if it is the latter, Domebeers will do it. Free of charge, too. Don't even worry about it, just ask.

Oh yeah, obligatory Lanny pimpage.

Steelers (Fuck, Ben did not rape that whore. You can't tell a guy your nickname is DTF and spend all night trying to get him to bone you and then turn around and claim rape because he doesn't ask you to marry him after he treats you like a whore. Whatever, this title is already too fucking long. )

So... Ben's getting suspended. What are the Black and Gold going to do? You certainly would not, under any circumstances, trade for Byron Leftwich. That guy sucks. He can't move around in the pocket, and the line isn't the greatest. We mean, Ben got sacked like 5000 times last year, so Byrons would get his head murdered off. No fucking way we make that move.

No, we would sign Jeff Garcia. That guy is ten thousand times more awesome than Byron Leftwich, who sucks, and is immobile, and has a 58.3 career completion percentage rating, and 34 (fucking christ!) fumbles in 57 games.

He also has a hot wife, which is actually, funny enough, why we are even talking about him. Enjoy!



Other Stuff

- Colorado, fuck, you had it. Way to fuck that up. Byzees.

- New Jersey, hahahaha. That's what you get for stealing Ilya from us.

- Larry Kings wife fucked the little league coach. Know what is super funny about it? She is 50, he is 30. Is irony still alive in the Obama era? If it is, it loved this.
...

Domebeer-aholics, again, we apologize for the delay. It's so nice out now and all that, so we will most likely not be doing the everyday post. You will get through it.

A lot of Jarome talk. We might get into it. Lazyness being what it is, however, we don't make any promises.

Oh yeah, before we go, we found the Loubardias replacement. Say hello to Gary.



Furthermore, I think Peter Loubardias should be fired.

3 comments:

  1. Your LW looks like she is CGI. I think Mrs. Garcia should be on the squad. She's wasted with Jeff and his love of musicals and rhythmic gymnastics.

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  2. Before reading this article, I had no idea Larry King had a wife, and I especially didn't know his wife was hot. Good for the little league coach.

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  3. Gary's mattress looks like Peter Maher's retarted brother.

    ReplyDelete